If you laugh at this, you’re a terrible, terrible person. 

Via Damian. 

Twist. (h/t, Holborn) || “Syrian paralysis cheese” and other translation errors. || Scenes from a small planet called Earth, specifically South Tyrol in the Alps. || Today’s word is precocious. Also, turn the bloody phone round. || Ambition. || Berlin, July, 1945. || Existential iPhone unboxing video. || Your self-driving Mercedes. || Morning glory. || Pretty moths. || Swatting flies is hard. || This. || That. || This too. (h/t, Franklin) || “Fuck your laws,” says she. (h/t, dicentra) || “On the third Friday of September, the small village of Binissalem shuts down to have dinner in the streets.” || Owl sneeze. || Kaleida. || Nigerian ladies’ hair, animated. (h/t, Coudal) || 1980s New York, a searchable photo-reference. || And finally, ladies with “manipulative cleavage” and other casting calls of note.

It’s a good-news-bad-news story: 

Several Hurricane Irma victims called a 1-800 number for help and were offered phone sex instead of hurricane relief assistance.

It’s very kind, I’m sure, but perhaps now isn’t the time.

The Miami Herald reported that the Federal Emergency Management Agency’s Region 4 office accidentally tweeted the number Wednesday, which offered assistance to people dealing with damaged roofs. The number was supposed to be a “1-888” number, not a “1-800” number.

Via Sam.

“This Fall, lightning strikes three times!” || This. (h/t, Julia) || That. || A bit of the other. || At last, a miracle breakthrough in atomised butter consumption. || Always respect the media. || Merging, self-healing ‘bots. || Man’s best friend. || The tasty parts of pigs. || Japanese slot machines of yore. || ESL students learn new gender pronouns. || Sweet dreams. (h/t, dicentra) || On nickel weeklies and dime novels. || Today’s word is mindset. || Meanwhile, in Sweden, love is in the air. || Sport is too competitive and must be reformed, says feminist academic. || A brief history of gated reverb. || Shredding golden slime. || And finally, a little-known episode of space travel history: “Pieces of faecal matter free-floated around the command module for several minutes.” A whodunnit ensues. 

In other news, 

Officials in Manatee County, Florida are under fire after an interpreter for the deaf warned about pizza and monsters during an emergency briefing related to Hurricane Irma… Members of the deaf community said [amateur interpreter, Marshall] Greene mostly signed gibberish, referencing “pizza,” “monsters,” and using the phrase “help you at that time to use bear big,” during the event. 

Via Popehat.