The Roar of Enlightened Manhood
A troubled student writes:
As a proud male feminist,
Oh, go on. Guess where.
As a proud male feminist, I believe it’s important for men to rally around the feminist movement to provide support and to act as an example for other men to follow. So it confuses me that at university a shockingly large number of male students I speak to refuse to apply the term to themselves, instead being evasive and avoiding such an empowering title.
Yes, dear readers, it’s both shocking and confusing that in the twenty-first century, in one of the most cosseting and politically corrected environments in all of the developed world, some male students feel no need to describe themselves as feminists. And calling oneself a feminist, announcing it proudly to the world – or at least to other, likeminded, equally proud students – is apparently the duty of all righteous beings, especially those with testicles. It’s empowering, you see. And never a sign of narcissism, credulity and pretentious moral grandstanding.
The scandalised and bewildered author of this piece is Mr Lewis Merryweather, a first year student of comparative literature at the University of Warwick. “He is a proud feminist,” reads his Guardian profile, “and writes poetry.” And the sorrows of his life are there for all to see:
I often encounter negative reactions when declaring myself a male feminist at university.
Missionary work is hard. Bring handkerchiefs, quickly, a dozen at least. And possibly towels and a mop.
I find this attitude among male students worrying… Perhaps it stems from male panic, that, foolishly, male students worry they may lose power and opportunity in a world of feminism. Perhaps guy students are embarrassed to align themselves with a word that lexically alludes to female-centrism.
Yes, that must be it. Those lexical allusions are a real bugger.
Maybe they’re worried about feeling emasculated.
Says our fretful poet. A man agonised by the existence of peers who don’t think exactly as he does and won’t wear his badge. And to make matters worse, there’s the ever-present shadow of hegemonic oppression:
In the words of Colm Dempsy, a male feminist who spoke at the forum I attended: “I am a proud male feminist. I am willing to fight with you. If you let me.” This is a statement every man, inside university and outside, should be able to shout without fear of being silenced by society.
Silenced by society. In a national newspaper.
Of course the reason for the annoying non-compliance of other male students is all too obvious:
I think the main reason so few male students identify as feminists is because of the spreading virus of lad culture at university. Lad culture is the idea that overt acts of masculinity prove some form of superiority over others. The reality is that lad culture is a prominent part of university life. Club nights often encourage the sexualisation and degradation of women through dress code, and lad values tell male students it’s important to get drunk, pull women and act like a noteworthy lad.
Heavens, it’s a virus, and on campuses too. And this gendered beastliness, in which women apparently have no autonomy at all, even in matters of fashion, weighs upon the breast of all right-thinking people. Or rather, left-thinking people – the ones who will save us from ourselves and usher into existence a brighter, fluffier world – if only we’d do as they say.
It’s hardly laddish to try and deconstruct a patriarchal system. Lad culture at university makes many potential male feminists feel demeaned; it can be hard to fit in if you don’t keep up with “the lads.”
Well, yes, I suppose “lexically alluding to female-centrism” and unironic “empowerment” – while mouthing an intent to “deconstruct a patriarchal system” – that will signal something to those less priggish and credulous. But perhaps those men and women who don’t want an Official Feminist Hat And Authorised Mental Mechandise™ aren’t being “silenced” by a “virus” of “lad culture,” or by a need to crush womankind underfoot. Some, for instance, may find such ostentatious signalling a tad self-serving, and have little appetite for purity tests and competitive scolding. Others may take issue with Mr Merryweather’s assertion that “feminism simply means you believe in equality.” Perhaps some are wary of a term that is often associated with things like this, and this, and this, and with ludicrous pseudo-scholarship, in which reality is an obstacle to the chosen narrative.
And maybe some are wary of joining a club whose members include such fragile, indignant souls as Mr Lewis Merryweather, of which there are so many, and whose baggage is often fascinating.
Via BenSix.
“I often encounter negative reactions when declaring myself a male feminist at university.”
I have to credit you David, some of the articles you locate are beyond parody. But far from ‘negative reaction’, I find ‘tear-inducing mirth’ is my more usual reaction to the anguish of those such as Mr Merryweather.
Still, he’s not quite as entertaining as the male ‘vegan feminist’ student acquaintance one of my youngsters encountered at university – this chap (prominent and vociferous in debates, natch) eschewed meat because of the patriarchal cruelty of the beef industry, namely the ‘rape’ of innocent unwilling young heifers by the visiting inseminator. Seemingly he instead had a charming sweet image of cow-copulation as nature (and feminists) intended; no doubt a handsome and fully-authorised young bullock mooing sweet nothings in the proud-and-fully-consenting cows’s ears as he takes her gently and respectfully……..
Ah, youth of today. Anyhoo, what is ‘comparative literature’ when it’s at home? And will it lead to a career where we will hear more, or less, from Mr Merryweather?
And never a sign of narcissism, credulity and pretentious moral grandstanding.
Erm, if this dipshit’s opinion is (in his words) so unimportant why should I take his sign seriously?
Just shows what some men will do to hook up with a women.
I think you should juxtapose this:
“foolishly, male students worry they may lose power and opportunity in a world of feminism”
With the feminist beta male holding up his sign:
http://davidthompson.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451675669e201a73d80b196970d-pi
With the feminist beta male holding up his sign
Quite.
Yes, that must be it. Those lexical allusions are a real bugger.
I denounce your homophobia.
The real mental illness is the compulsion to have everyone else think and have opinions exactly like him/his.
I notice the feminist beta male’s sign is mispelled. Still, what does literacy matter when it comes to ingratiating the sisterhood?
I denounce your homophobia.
Bugger, rumbled at last. When I lean forward, throw that sand into my eyes. It’s the only way I’ll learn.
It’s odd and arguably misleading to illustrate an article written by a student at Warwick with a picture taken outside King’s, Cambridge – even if King’s is the spiritual home of this sort of stuff, and recently voted to retain a hammer and sickle in its college bar: http://cambridge.tab.co.uk/2010/02/14/hammer-and-fickle/.
and whose baggage is often fascinating.
Link of the week, definitely.
Following this link http://womensspace.org/ from your article ‘Every Bit as Hobbled’ reveals that feminism, as practised by men, women or any of the other 57 flavours of being, may be running out of steam. Either that or the eeevil corporates are taking over their actual literal virtual spaces. I am shocked. Shocked, I say.
“Feminism” may indeed be running out of steam. But like the broomstick in the sorceror’s apprentice, fragments of it are rising up to fight even angrier and less coherent battles along the lines of ‘intersectonality’ & ‘privilege’; plus the battle is being extended beyond the two genders I knew and grew up with, to the fifty or more now identified on facebook – just think, the potential for all that angst fifty-fold more!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/10637968/Facebook-sex-changes-which-one-of-50-genders-are-you.html
If ‘lad culture’ is the problem why do most women I know find modern feminism silly and self-indulgent too?
I read this somewhere… ‘we are such a tolerant society that those with minority views are completely unaware that we disagree with them. Because of our acceptance of THEIR beliefs, they are deluded into thinking we agree with them!’
And possibly towels and a mop.
For the tears or the bed-wetting?
If ‘lad culture’ is the problem why do most women I know find modern feminism silly and self-indulgent too?
Stockholm Syndrome, they have been oppressed by the patriarchal hegemony so long, they are now part of it.
I believe in the basic concept of women’s rights…..but I reject being called a feminist, as I know plenty of other girls/women who do and, as shocking as it may sound, there are even men who also believe in women’s rights. Only these people don’t support the Guardian’s brand of feminism nor do any of the aforementioned men feel the need to emasculate themselves and neither do the females (emasculate males, that is) to show support. I guess some folks wouldn’t be satisfied with that.
But then again, feminism became a parody of itself for me when the Guardian’s feminists accused Miley Cyrus of “appropriating” Black culture with her twerking. It was also when I realized how absurd and downright hilarious the Guardian really was. I think most of the articles are there just for click bait.
Splotchy – thank you for your recent kind words.
I thought your suggestion of a collected “Steve’s Thoughts” would make the perfect gift, so I fired up the dot matrix printer and made a booklet.
The front cover is a laminated photo of me eating a hamburger from the time I won third place in a hamburger eating competition. It looked boring because my eyes were closed due to gastric distress so I photoshopped Limahl and ALF into the picture to make it more visually striking.
I was sure this would be received as the most thoughtful present ever, but when I gave it to my wife, she was far from happy.
So apparently “Steve’s Thoughts” is not an acceptable anniversary gift and I now have a sore back from sleeping on the futon in the guest bedroom.
The cat is also unhappy with me because I’ve taken over her favourite kitty snoozing spot and in my sleep befuddled state I mistook her for a memory foam knee pillow.
I thought Cat Scratch Fever was a Pantera song, but it seems it’s also a real and unpleasant thing.
Do you know who I blame for all this? The Patriarchy. Lewis Merryweather is right: who else but The Patriarchy would have been so diabolically cunning as to give him a name like “Lewis Merryweather” so that people dismiss him out of hand as an effete milksop like Prince Herbert from Monty Python and the Holy Grail?
King of Swamp Castle: “One day, lad, all this will be yours!”
Lewis Merryweather: “What, the curtains?”
This has the stench of The Patriarchy all over it. It’s a musky, manly smell, like Old Spice mixed with 18 year old Glenlivet.
And then there’s this bearded chap, whom we mustn’t regard as male unless he permits it. Apparently our perceptions of people with beards and ‘taches are to be policed by our betters.
I can’t find it now, but a while ago I stumbled across a site that took “I need feminism because” photos and replaced the signs with ones from pet shame photos. Earnest young people holding up signs saying “I pooped on the new rug” and “I steal food from the table”. Made me laugh.
“This has the stench of The Patriarchy all over it. It’s a musky, manly smell, like Old Spice mixed with 18 year old Glenlivet.”
Genuine LOL moment. And now everyone on this train is looking at me oddly.
So these men object to being called “men”. Hmmm…it seems like they enjoy being used by women, pride themselves on their dispensability…disposable even, easily manipulated into whatever form said women choose, I suspect when used the chances of conception are reduced…seems there’s another word, well two-word combo really, that could be applied here.
I can’t help but suspect that when Lewis joins in conversation with other guys, everybody remembers that they have errands to run.
I think Mr Merryweather is confusing Warwick University campus with Nigeria or Somalia. Somewhere where being a “proud male feminist” might actually be something to shout about.
If you let me? Normally one has to pay for that level of degradation.
I think Mr Merryweather is confusing Warwick University campus with Nigeria or Somalia. Somewhere where being a “proud male feminist” might actually be something to shout about.
I denounce your sense of proportion. Someone fetch the sand. No, that really cheap sand, the stuff with bits in it.
My eyes.
I wonder if Mr Merryweather’s parents had any intent of evoking the name Meriwether Lewis, the Lewis of the Lewis & Clark expedition, which traversed the North American continent over a two year period from 1804 to 1806.
This is a statement every man, inside university and outside, should be able to shout without fear of being silenced by society.
It’s the comments below the line disagreeing with this numpty that will be silenced, as we see over and over again.
25 comments deleted so far under this article out of 210. So more than 10%
Does the Guardian delete comments for the hell of it? I cannot tell you how many times comments that weren’t even remotely offensive, or even questionable, were deleted on various articles I’ve come across. Folks who even called out on that type of absurdity had their own comments deleted as well.
If you let me? Normally one has to pay for that level of degradation.
Feminist, queer and negro “allies” (I believe this is the common term) are treated very badly in their respective henhouses. It’s not difficult to find articles where feminists say that all male feminists should simply shut up, etc. I can’t for the life of me figure out why anyone would subject themselves to it.
. . . Old Spice mixed with 18 year old Glenlivet.
Ewwwwww.
I can’t stand the taste of alcohol, and therefore don’t drink it, but what a horrible thing to do to perfectly innocent Glenlivet . . .
I picture a ‘male feminist’ as a man holding his wife’s handbag while she fights The Patriarchy.
Club nights often encourage the sexualisation and degradation of women through dress code
What, women are required to dress like sluts? Cleavage Required? Thighs Must Show?
The English pub scene is curious indeed.
HERE HEAR
It’s all very well to laugh, and split our sides in mirth at the self-tormenting antics of these bastards. But actually they are deadly serious about their intended impositions on all normal humans, and this makes them mortally dangerous. I don’t find them funny at all: and I’m sure the feeling is reciprocated by them to us.
The time to laugh at them (as a weapon) will be when open war breaks out as it will in the end. Like when we were “openly humorous about” Hitler in the War.
I’ve just been sent to the Twitter Gulag for the second time in as many weeks for my insolence in mocking the Star-Bellied Sneeches.
“Vindictive little snot-rags” doesn’t begin to cover it.
As some may know I misspent my youth as a l****y l***y. An interesting event happened to me years ago that has relevance. I (a 9 stone 18 year old) was invited by a women friend to attend a Feminist Nurses meeting to which she regularly went. OK says I and we go. Recall the scene in American Werewolf where the protagonists enter the pub on the moor and everything freezes. Now you have the picture. After some explanation by my friend followed by some whispering I was asked to step out while there was a vote. To cut a long story short, having a man in such a meeting would “remove the safe space”, even though he was sympathetic. Turned out that only one voice was against me being allowed to stay but that was enough for solidarity to kick in. No skin off my nose but my friend was a bit of a pariah for months afterwards.
So in the interests of educating this man, let me state where his problem is. I don’t need to rehearse discussion of intersectionality here. Suffice to say, he should know that, he doesn’t and can’t know what feminism is; he should check his privilege and stop pretending to speak on behalf of wimmin.
I fully expect Mr Merryweather to spend the next decade of his life agonising over whether he is a ‘feminist’ or an ‘ally’.
“an empowering title”
Well, I suppose a man with no balls feels a need for the illusion that he is powerful.
“To cut a long story short, having a man in such a meeting would ‘remove the safe space’, even though he was sympathetic.”
Funny how so many feminists are either cowards who are traumatized by disagreement and difference, or are bullies who use the “safe space” language of victimhood to justify suppressing all dissent.
“…my friend was a bit of a pariah for months afterwards.”
Sounds like typical feminazis. We have a lot of them here in the States.
I have to testify that male feminists are expected by female feminists to shut-up, do as they are told and sit in the back of the bus. They live under a cloud of suspicion and must watch what they say. The badge of ‘male feminist’ is never very secure. It can be stripped-away pretty easily.
Feminists DO want male support, to be sure, but as subordinates rather than as equals. The whole thing is a test of a man’s willingness to forfeit his autonomy to women’s wills… and to LIKE being treated that way.
It is as if female feminists want to have a group of “second-class feminists” who it is safe to order-about and abuse.
As if to invert the feminist complaint of the lack of women in positions of leadership, feminists are very VERY uncomfortable with the thought of a man ever playing a leadership role in feminism.
So what ARE male feminists allowed to do? They are allowed to support feminism and bash other men. Rather than being effete wimps, male feminists can act quite macho when they put other men down.
The whole thing is quite a spectacle to behold once you start seeing the dynamics.
Recall the scene in American Werewolf where the protagonists enter the pub on the moor and everything freezes.
Sometime in the late Eighties, I had to deliver some posters to a leftwing music venue, one staffed almost entirely by lefties and hippies, and therefore run quite badly. To get to the appropriate office I had to walk past the dancefloor – which, on this afternoon had been commandeered by a group of feminists. In the centre of the room, maybe twenty metres away, a dozen or so women were seated in a circle, talking. There was a sudden hush. As I quietly walked past towards the offices, I was stopped and berated by one of the ladies. “This is a women-only space,” I was told, in no uncertain terms.
I apologised for the interruption, such as it was, and pointed out that this was the only available way to the offices. “These have to be delivered by 4pm. I’ll drop them off upstairs and be out in 2 minutes.” From the group sounds of tutting could be heard. A burlier, rather quarrelsome woman came over with a face (and voice) like thunder. “What do you think you’re doing in here? This is a safe space for women – men aren’t allowed!” Again, I explained that I had a delivery to make, as arranged by one of the venue’s staff, and would be very quiet. Rather than let me get on and out of their way, a third woman joined what was now becoming a one-sided argument. They seemed to enjoy the opportunity to browbeat a young man, continually interrupting, apparently in an attempt to intimidate.
Slightly taken aback by the hair-trigger hostility, I pointed out that the ladies’ “safe space” wasn’t closed off from a fairly busy thoroughfare, through which staff and visitors had to pass to go about their business. Given the availability of other, more private “spaces” in the venue, where interruption would be much less likely, this seemed a little odd. While I said this, another hapless visitor, one of the male café staff walked past and was immediately accosted and shouted at for his inexcusable sin. It occurred to me that this futile attempt to impose a “women-only space” not in a room with a door but in an open thoroughfare may not have been an oversight. I mean, if you wanted to create a situation in which you got to gang up on and berate a series of bewildered male strangers, while feeling both wronged and heroic, this was hard to beat.
TimT: “I fully expect Mr Merryweather to spend the next decade of his life agonising over whether he is a ‘feminist’ or an ‘ally’.”
And then finally realise that feminism doesn’t accept allies. Alliance is a reciprocal thing. You couldn’t even call it serfhood or vassalage, because in the feudal system lords had some reciprocal obligations to their serfs and vassals. What feminists demand is unconditional surrender. Anything less is oppression.
“With the feminist beta male holding up his sign:
http://davidthompson.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451675669e201a73d80b196970d-pi ”
What’s the origin of that picture?
I only ask because I know someone who looks an awful lot like that and is the sort of person I can imagine coming out with that sort of stuff.
Ross,
What’s the origin of that picture?
I don’t recall the source. It was something I spotted a while ago and kept for later use, probably on one of the Tumblrs or Facebook pages on the theme of “I need feminism” or “Who needs feminism?” or something along those lines.
I only ask because I know someone who looks an awful lot like that and is the sort of person I can imagine coming out with that sort of stuff.
Do tell.
Patrick Brown:You couldn’t even call it serfhood or vassalage, because in the feudal system lords had some reciprocal obligations to their serfs and vassals.
I would suggest the term “kajirus” for the position Mr Merryweather aspires to.
David:It occurred to me that this futile attempt to impose a “women-only space” not in a room with a door but in an open thoroughfare may not have been an oversight.
Indeed, the thrill of power as business has to come to a grinding stop so they can prove what big swinging genitalia they are.
Did he geld himself, or was it done to him?
Anyway, we all did things at university we are now horribly embarassed about. Fortunately mine are not easily available to the entire world via Google as his will be in ten years time when he grows up and thinks “Oh fuck, was that me?”
I knew he would have a shit beard even before I saw his picture. I KNEW IT.