From academia, that hothouse of social progress:

Ah, the arts. Where it’s all thou-shalt-not.

Not really in the spirit of what music is, methinks. Sort of, “You only get to sing this if we think you look right. Because appearance – specifically, your racial classification – is what matters.” And hey, who wouldn’t love a game of Who May Sing What, Based On Their Skin Colour? How terribly uplifting.

Needless to say, no corresponding restrictions or accusations of “cultural appropriation” would be tolerated regarding minority students performing music deemed white. Say, as when the troupe performed the works of the Jonas Brothers and the very pale pop songstress Ariana Grande. But clearly, reciprocal principles would be too much to ask.

Fair point.

Being entirely reasonable, this didn’t go down well.

Yes, I know. The word irony scarcely covers it.

Despite the group’s policy of unilateral racial exclusivity in singing being somewhat dissonant with the university’s codes of conduct, which prohibit “discrimination… based on race,” Mr Phillips was warned that his expectations of fairness and merit might have dire consequences. And there followed exquisitely detailed conditions of any further discussion of the issue, with stern pre-emptive cautions against “aggressive wording.”

Vocal Intensity styles itself as the university’s “premier all-gender a cappella group” and claims to provide “an inclusive environment for all individuals who have a passion for music.” But obviously, not if you fancy singing Alice Smith and Miles Caton’s Last Time (I Seen The Sun) while being offensively white.

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