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Behold My Massive Breasts Pronouns Or Else

For Buoyancy, Perhaps

February 26, 2025 110 Comments

Lifted from the comments, a tale of self-satisfied inclusiveness from Edmonton, Alberta: 

A Canadian mother… was chastised by staff at her local recreation centre after reporting that a balding man wearing “fetish gear” was in the women’s changing room.

The mother and her 14-year-old daughter had visited the Bonnie Doon Leisure Centre for an afternoon in the pool. However, their plans were derailed by an encounter with the incongruous:

The man, who appeared to be in his mid-forties, was wearing a “black penis sling” and an exposed rubber breast form. 

For the innocent and unworldly, that’s fake rubber boobs. Generally of ample proportions, as worn by drag queens. And a penis sling, obviously. I’ll let you Google that one.

The mother promptly backed away from the scene of the psychodrama:

“My daughter was behind me… I backed up quickly so she would not keep walking forward and yelled, ‘Help, there is a man in the change room.’” 

A not unreasonable response. At least until about five minutes ago.

After explaining what she had seen in the women’s changing area, a male staff member dismissed her concerns.

You see, when you’re about to get undressed in a women’s changing room and you realise you’re being watched by a balding pervert in an overtly sexual micro-thong, and with fake rubber knockers attached to his person, this is just part and parcel of being sensitive and inclusive. Apparently, we must learn to embrace modernity and its many sophistications. Especially the ladies.

A female member of staff joined the discussion, which the mother recorded. Sisterhood, however, was not forthcoming:

In the recording, Keri is heard giving a statement to the staff member and explaining precisely what she had experienced… “I walked in with my 14-year-old daughter… I am 54, I should not have to put up with it. But she should definitely not be exposed to a man enjoying his fetish in the women’s washroom.”

In response, the staff member explains that “It is the city of Edmonton’s policy that you can use whatever changing room you are most comfortable using.” She goes on to defend the man’s attire, saying, “They can wear whatever they are comfortable wearing.”

Again, penis sling, rubber boobs. Lest we forget.

A subsequent exchange with an officer of the Edmonton Police Service proved equally frustrating, and the mother was told that she was free to “stop using the pool.” Because retreating from intrusion and perversity, ceding space to it, is very in right now.

“I tried to press [constable Matthew Hawley] about whether he thought 14-year-old girls should have to get undressed in front of middle-aged men in fetish gear and he said the [Edmonton Police Service] has no position on it.”

However, a report was filed:

The police report, which refers to the man by gender neutral pronouns… states: “The person’s penis was covered by the penis sling however the fake breasts were bare.”

It was a person’s penis, you see. In the ladies’ changing room.

And yes, needless to say, we’ve been here before.

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Written by: David

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In which we marvel at the mental contortions of our self-imagined betters.