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Free-For-All Media Pronouns Or Else

The Word You’re Looking For

October 16, 2023 46 Comments

Come, let us turn to the pages of Men’s Health, where Zachary Zane, a “sex writer, author, and ethical Boyslut,” answers “pressing sex questions with thorough, actionable advice.”

“Boyslut,” by the way, is,

a fancy way of saying I sleep with a lot of people, and I’m very, very open about it.

Not just open, but very, very open.

You see,

Over the years, I’ve had my fair share of sexual experiences, dating, and sleeping with hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. 

Hundreds of people. Of all genders. Hold that thought.

Now, on to the meat of things – the problem faced by Men’s Health reader, Small and Scared:

I have a micropenis and [struggle with] premature ejaculation.

For the sake of those with delicate sensibilities, I’ll spare you much of the subsequent reply, which concerns insecurities, dodgy surgeries, and “a world obsessed with penis size.” However, the following did catch the eye.

Says Mr Zane,

First up: your bedroom skills. Get good at using your hands and mouth. At Men’s Health, we’ve written extensively about how to perform oral sex on a vulva and finger a person with a vulva. Don’t forget that the majority of vulva-owners cannot orgasm via penetration alone; they either need (or greatly prefer) clitoral stimulation in order to get off.

At which point, readers may note a curious, rather mannered choice of language, an odd asymmetry. Throughout the piece, men are referred to as, well, men; while women – the sex equipped with vulvas and such – are acknowledged as “a person with a vulva,” or “vulva-owners,” or as some disembodied “vulva,” on which sex is performed.

As if one were being intimate only with an abstracted set of genitals, and not with the woman of whom those genitals are a part.

Whether women so described are likely to be grateful for this phrasing, and instantly aroused by such erotic poetry, I leave to others. Though I’m now wondering whether the publication in which the above appears should be renamed Prostate-Havers’ Health, or Beings With Penis Health. Something along those lines. Or would that be silly?

Also, open thread. Share ye links and bicker.

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Written by: David

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