Friday Ephemera (667)
Only the carpet was hurt. || The thrill of modern romance. || How to use your arms. || Hair crisis of note. || It’s called My Neighbour’s Car Alarm. || Dinosaur migration. || When you fancy a relaxing stroll. || Cooking utensil of note. || Playdough surgery, an educational series. || When teeth explode. || Sleep well, dear reader. || A pixelated journey to the centre of the Earth. || “Simulates the texture, elasticity and feel of a real nipple.” || Why aren’t you keeping track of my tedious pretensions? || Playing dress-up, the modern way. || Babysitting scenes. || A basis for deportation. || The body snatcher of Los Alamos, a Twentieth Century horror story. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || Airbag jeans, $499. || And finally, and because you’re all thinking it, does it throb?
Should you feel the urge, you can follow me on Twitter. And yes, of course, feel free to use the tip jar on the right.
Every American president, but with a mullet.
An unintended consequence:
Dear LA Times: “Communities that are already weary of police” is a euphemism for “criminals and their friends”.
It’s not the intersections themselves that are dangerous, it’s the effing drivers in that effing neighborhood.
Los Angeles will not be able to reduce accidents in those neighborhoods without reducing the population of criminals, low-lifes, and morons. Good luck.
I leave that to Madame Dafarge.
That was actually rather good, but come on… who else thought of Tyres from Spaced?
Unintended, but unsurprising. The complacency and arrogance in the comments is staggering. You’d think the Left would have learned from the mistakes of the establishment they overturned, but nope…
Didn’t know that sort of technology was available at something near affordable for ordinary people. If you watch any top end motorcycle racing (like MotoGP or World Superbikes ) you will notice that post crash the riders (if they get up) all look a bit like Michelin Man. This is because the airbags in their suits have gone off. I have been using kevlar lined jeans for years for my riding, but maybe now that is old tech.
does it throb?
New villains in Star Trek?
Morning, all.
What’s the line in Diamonds Are Forever, said by Ms Tiffany Case…? “Go blow up your pants.”
The exploding teeth article has this little gem:“…except for one case involving baby teeth that had already fallen out.”
*blinks*
[ Plays theme from The X-Files. ]
That was one of the better gags in the series, along with the payoff at the pedestrian crossing. I suspect that anyone who’d stumbled out of a warehouse party at 6am, feeling oddly buoyant, could relate.
I suspect that anyone who’d stumbled out of a warehouse party at 6am, feeling oddly buoyant, could relate.
*peers over spectacles*
This is my innocent face.
“Simulates the texture, elasticity and feel of a real nipple.”
Step 1: scan your boobs with your phone…
Look, lady, their algorithms need to capture those “key nipple measurements, contours and colours.”
If anyone’s getting aroused by this thread, I’m fetching the hose.
Look, lady,
LOL
I think that’s one of the semi-regulars here…
I have questions.
Quite a “don’t do drugs” message.
From that same twitter account: I have no idea what she is trying to say.
I lost the will to live after the seventeenth ‘like’.
And to think they’re banning plastic bags in some jurisdictions because they accidentally strangle polar bears or something…
[ Checks number of months since last dental checkup. ]
Should you feel your teeth are about to explode, do try to confine the blast to a stall in the gents.
Preferably, not the good one.
You mean the less horrible one.
The cleaner’s been off sick since 2009. It’s hard to get good staff.
A “medical professional” to avoid
https://twitter.com/lporiginalg/status/1631351990654742528
For those who missed it, somewhat related:
Instead, we’re expected to believe that traffic cameras are racist. Apparently, the pathologically selfish behaviour of people who speed and run red lights, repeatedly, habitually, even near schools, could only have external causes. Personal responsibility is simply never mentioned.
doc to avoid: she gives chemical castration drugs to hundreds of kids! holy shit! Kids have no idea about sex, love, romance, or the joy of having children/grandchildren. All that is being taken away for a fantasy.
Why would you hit a guy on fire with a bike? In what possible chain of logic is that helpful?
All my life I’ve heard people call someone a dickhead, and I finally get to see one. It is as horrifying as I thought. He goes to work like that?
Nor, it seems, was there room to consider the possible effect of endless, widespread excuse-making for antisocial behaviour, and its role in making such behaviour more likely, not less.
That.
My first thought was “drop and roll” but he was afraid to actually touch someone who is on fire, but I don’t really know.
Maybe – and I may be reaching here – he was trying to get the other chap, the one actually on fire, onto the ground, so that extinguishing the fire might be easier? But amid the many improbable things occurring in that video, it’s hard to say.
Have to say, this about what to expect from these buffoons.
“The plane crashed because the pilot and copilot were not talking to each other.”
Well, OK, an “occupation” I’ve not heard of before, “Inclusion Consultant”.
I wonder what qualifications one might have for this, other than being,
Sorry I asked, so I guess “Inclusion Consultant” basically means paid thought rozzer and book censor.
Merely for self-protection, civilizations must exclude from power all leftists and crazies: They cannot be trusted.
pst314–there actually was a US navy ship that crashed into a cargo vessel because the 2 female chief officers were not speaking to each other.
Why Marvel keeps on shitting the bed.
Previously and recommended.
This came to mind, as did my reply.
That’s really going the extra mile to get some boob pics….
Dysmorphic pilots: a really really bad idea. Years ago an egyptian airline dove into the ocean, with the pilot recorded as saying “allah-u-akbar” god is great. A large international flight. Most likely suicide. In Germany maybe 5 yrs ago a german pilot with known suicidal tendencies and major depression crashed his plane into a mountain.
A few minutes ago, I realised my browser can read aloud the contents of this blog. I set it going. I laughed and I’m not sorry.
US Federal Aviation Regulations, Part 91 (General Operating and Flight Rules)
91.3(a) The pilot in command of an aircraft is directly responsible for, and is the final authority as to, the operation of that aircraft.
(b) In an in-flight emergency requiring immediate action, the pilot in command may deviate from any rule of this part to the extent required to meet that emergency.
(c) Each pilot in command who deviates from a rule under paragraph (b) of this section shall, upon the request of the Administrator, send a written report of that deviation to the Administrator.
So, yeah, let’s just let any fool be a PIC. What could go wrong?
Why Marvel keeps on shitting the bed
Comic books are full of ridiculous ideas because they’re disposable entertainment churned out at an impossible pace for 8-15 year old boys, and they don’t pay very well.
M.O.D.O.K. was always a ridiculous character. But so was Arnim Zola. What made Zola work in Civil War was taking the essence of the character – the ghost in the machine – and making it sinister, tragic, and a way of tying Cap’s present to his past.
The MCU used to be great at inserting classic (and often forgotten) villains into the script in ways that served the plot. Did you recognize this dude as the utterly ridiculous Batroc the Leaper?
The MCU’s strength was always extracting the essence of the characters and reframing them in a way that worked for adult audiences instead of children – Tony Stark as Howard Roark, Steve Rogers as the forgotten veteran, Bruce Banner as Dr. Jeykll and Mr. Hyde, etc. The MCU seems to have devolved into ironic, self-aware self-parody, but it can’t do that as well as Marshall Law, Brat Pack, or The Boys can.
A few minutes ago, I realised my browser can read aloud the contents of this blog. I set it going. I laughed and I’m not sorry
So, what voice? Sultry, squeaky, Ahnold??? Can you assign voices?
Oh yes. There are dozens. At the moment, a melodious Indian lady is reciting The Year Reheated…
She sounds quite jolly.
I once met a writer who liked to read dull material, such as ingredients on a snack food package, in a comically sultry voice.
Some might think that this pervasive progressivism would encourage conservative students to change their views.
The Woke: by golly, it’s beyond comprehension why bullying, beating and even getting conservative students fired or expelled hasn’t convinced them to join us on the RightSideOfHistory.
The Indian lady is quite upbeat and enthusiastic. I don’t think she does deadpan delivery or raised-eyebrow irony. But there’s a pleasing sing-song quality to it.
Not really what I imagine when I’m bashing at the keyboard.
That’ll work for news about plane crashes and terrorism.
Why would they? It works and they are #winning. The bigger question is why the right fails to learn from its failures and shut down such obvious long-term losers. Though I, and others of course, do have answers to even that question. But conservatives…”conservatives” don’t like those answers. Certainly not as much as they like losing.
Both extremes (using US terminology) won’t learn because of pride. The Left is so proud of its virtue that it does not matter how many they destroy or if there are unintended consequences. Backlash only proves how right they are.
The Right won’t learn because they pride themselves on being honorable and above the fray. To ban strange, disturbed trans persons from flying a commercial airliner due to suicide risk would be….mean. They don’t see that it is a war and they are losing or that there are real risks involved. The fall for the argument that banning trans from women’s locker rooms or sports is phobic. They fall for the argument that cops are racist..
of all the things you said but I truly believe underneath it all is a philosophy based on losing. The most favorable interpretation is a subconscious explanation but even if so it’s not all that deep subconsciously. I don’t say that to be snarky. Within the desire to be “right” all the time is a knowledge that as far as any public perception is concerned, if you are making decisions that will have objective results in the real world the probability of those results being negative outweighs the probability of them being positive. Entropy, if you will. If you lose or as long as you have no effective power, you can sit on the sidelines and throw rocks. Or more likely, hint that rocks should be thrown by those silly enough to get their hands dirty so if said rock throwing leads to any trouble they can point out that the rocks were not thrown properly. It’s how they got through school and held their high place in society without an objective, productive, objective (edited…just realized I said ‘objective’ twice but now I think I’ll leave it) economic contribution.
Not really seeing either a problem or downside here.
Does that include the comments ?
To be near realistic mine would have to be, despite a fairly good education, Tasmanian Bogan. A listen to to David Boon (the cricketer) would give some idea
Anyone can develop endometriosis. However, the rates vary greatly based on a person’s sex assigned at birth.
Women are afflicted with endometriosis more then men? The devil you say!
Yes, 16 is significantly less than 1% of 4 billion or so.
Minor detail, in case you were worried about being one of the 4e-9 cases.
Good to know if you are a woman claiming to be one of the other 576.47 genders.
Not very well, apparently.
And then switch, despite again being well educated, to a broad Kiwi accent. (pronounced “Keewee excint”).
“hard to get good staff.”
I’m not going anywhere near… well…
Black equestrians being barred from sport cuz white supremacist helmets.
She has a masters degree in fat studies, evidently magna cum laude, and therefore knows more than doctors, but if you diet, you are harming her. Or something.
Black equestrians being barred from sport…
Yet somehow football and baseball players manage to get their “natural hair” under their helmets – not that an equestrian helmet is worth a damn anyway.
fat studies, magna cum lard
That someone could believe that your gender identity affects your chances of getting endometriosis…words fail me. Of course, taking hormones might affect it either way, but not if you are asexual or bisexual or the rest. And no, women are not assigned female at birth. They are XX and thus simply ARE women.
Now you’ve hurt my feelings. 😀
Not so much overlooked as warning signs heeded.
I think we’ll give that one a post of its own. Comments that-a-way.
Racism is such an easy accusation for the moral cripples of our society.
Note this passage:
“The two co-founded a Minnesota nonprofit, CREW Urban Youth Equestrians, in 2021 to provide opportunities for Black youth and other children of color to learn about horses while developing tools to manage their emotions.”
“Manage their emotions” is a sad reminder that “urban youth” is a euphemism for feral black kids that should be avoided if not incarcerated.
Forgot to mention: Instead of whining about non-existent “white supremacist oppression”, why not get involved in developing new helmets?
OLIVIA. OLIVIA PRESTEIGN.
Heh. But I don’t think that man is going to show us how to space-jaunte.