Friday Ephemeraren’t

All dogs will receive odometer implants. So we can check.”

Having been knocked out for a few seconds (long enough to hit the mat after a roundhouse to my left jaw during plebe boxing) and having had 2 concussions as well (first in a car wreck and the second due to passing out while sitting on a bench over a concrete floor in the Hohenfels training area due to ~1 hour sleep a night for 2 to 3 weeks), yeah, it’s hard to knock someone out with no damage.
While I did jump back up in the ring (I absolutely had to pass boxing else I would have failed out of West Point due to failing gymnastics earlier), a couple of hours later in German class, I noticed that my eyes were no longer tracked anything (i.e., moving my head was like moving a camera) and I was blacking out. So probably 3 concussions in total.

Entertain me, I dare you.
I’m working on the perfect song for the 21st century. I’m calling it Your Momma Don’t Dance Because Your Daddy’s Got A Squeezebox So Your Uncle Don’t Sleep At Night. Well, that’s the title anyway. I’ll work on the rest of it when I sober up in the morning.

“a job that’s perhaps not for everyone; an inn of note”
I guess we know where the first guy clocks off for a cold one!

Morning, all.
Hardcore protestor.
On inadequate towels.

Blubberpuss should just buy 2 standard sized bathsheets and sew them together. Maybe 3 to be on the safe side.

Blubberpuss should just buy 2 standard sized bathsheets and sew them together.
It seems to me that if an oversize bath towel is still too small, the problem may not be the towel, but what you’re trying to fit in it. Still, she gets points for having learned the tone and body language of performative indignation.
And if our weighty wonder didn’t make a theatrical fuss about towel sizes and how oppressive they are, she might have to consider her own poor choices and where they’ve taken her. And so, it has to be the world’s fault, those evil towel conglomerates.

All dogs will receive odometer implants. So we can check.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3EBs7sCOzo

evil towel conglomerates.
Band name.

I would have taken human shuabu shabu as appropriate karma but this will do.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9929305/Connecticut-woman-walked-trail-geyser-Yellowstone-sentenced-week-jail.html?fbclid=IwAR2sGxGB7YBM2DIc9-hSbkN2QvKXKED6-7ZA4DcJDomZqU6LvDIjaE2M9xM
God, I can smell her pictures, the nasty hippy.
I live near and often work in one of our great national parks and tourists can try my patience.

I learned something today.
So remember. When falling from a great height, always land on your eyes.

All dogs will receive odometer implants. So we can check.

From this day on, the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check.

…the problem may not be the towel, but what you’re trying to fit in it.
Out of morbid curiosity I had to look, the largest bath towel Target™ sells is 65 inches wide, so yeah. Maybe the beach towel section, they’ll go a good six feet.

This week in cretinry:
“Nursing student.” “@LibDems.”

shuabu shabu
“Two of the three in the group, police said, were drinking White Claws when they were apprehended “

Oh-oh, it’s Bad Girl Julia. Don’t make her cross. She’ll shiv you like it’s nothing.
Details here, for those who are not familiar with her blog. Really, our nations are increasingly run by people who bear a certain resemblance to Joseph Stalin.

It was somehow slightly frightening…
When confronted by a bad haircut 42A, the only safe place is the target.
This week in cretinry:

There’s differences but they’re literally minuscule…

Well, in his case…/cheapshot

Prison where Jeffrey Epstein killed himself to be closed: “The U.S. government said Thursday it is shutting down an embattled federal jail in New York City after a slew of problems that came to light following Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide there two years ago… including lax security and crumbling infrastructure.”
Don’t worry, there will always be poorly run prisons where inconvenient persons can be sent to commit suicide.

A couple of kids, soon to be cancelled.

Speaking of not talking normally anymore:
this intelligent dog travels down to the market every day with a basket and some money to fetch groceries for their owner
That’s a dog. Judging from the backside, I’d say that is a male dog: “He fetches groceries for his owner.” Alternatively, English has a perfectly good neuter (“non-binary”) third-person singular pronoun: “It fetches groceries for its owner.”
Online, I have seen people use “they” as the pronoun for a monster. I’m talking about a monster that does not resemble anything that actually exists. I have seen people use “they” as the pronoun for a piece of furniture!
There is an argument that “it” is offensive when used about a human being who wants to be non-binary, but dogs, monsters, and furniture?
This annoys me greatly.

Don’t make her cross. She’ll shiv you like it’s nothing.
They also denied a blue check to Alan Page yesterday. For those outside of Minnesota, Alan Page was a defensive end for the Vikings who was named the league MVP in 1971 (I believe the first defensive player to win the award). He was also named to the NFL Hall of Fame.
After his fifteen seasons in the NFL, Page went on to get a law degree, and was successful enough in that career that he served on the Minnesota Supreme Court for 22 years.
I know these accomplishments don’t rise to the level of “TikTok influencer,” but one might think they are sufficient to be recognized as “notable.” Maybe he should start streaming his tuba-playing and hope it goes viral.
Between Julia and Page, it’s little wonder that the Twitter is offline this morning. Here’s hoping the outage is a sign of better days to come.

“Remember when they advertised the blue check as being merely a verification of identity?”
Remember when they chose the title “President” because it didn’t carry any connotations of grandeur?
If something is rare and sought-after, it won’t remain “merely” anything for very long.

Governor Squid: ’… it’s little wonder that the Twitter is offline this morning.’
It is..? Oh, how sad I am at their misfortune. *resumes her crocheting, smiling secretly*

*resumes her crocheting, smiling secretly*
[ Hands Julia her usual – and latest Guild of Evil newsletter. ]

I just received a text informing me that I can’t get any blood tests done due to “a national shortage of blood bottles”.
Dr David Wrigley, deputy council chair of the British Medical Association said: “We are still no closer to understanding how this situation was able to develop…”
Don’t worry though, the glorious NHS is on it. It’s a “top priority”:
A Department of Health and Social Care spokesperson waffled: “Patient safety is a top priority and we are working closely with NHS England, the devolved administrations, and NHS Supply Chain to minimise any impact on patient care. The health and care system continues to work flat out with the supplier and stakeholders to put mitigations in place, and … blah blah blah.”
Manufacturer Becton Dickinson (a.k.a “the supplier and stakeholders”) ‘alerted the NHS to problems in July and said the increased global demand as well as “UK border challenges” were to blame as well as a shortage of raw materials.’
A shortage of raw materials.
Sand.
A shortage of fucking sand?!

Thanks, Squires, for the link. That was a boss track.