Half-speed Frakes has apparently been on a bender. (h/t, Damian) || Strange beings detected. || I think I heard something moving in the basement. || Penguins descending. || A brief history of pandemics. (h/t, Dicentra) || Sounds from the toilet-paper apocalypse. || Yes, Picard is still bad. || Actual prancing. || “Post-capitalist” streaming service: “Live weekly shows covering news, the working class, gaming and sports.” || Leggy redhead. || Ladies got moves. || Only 377. || Bosch bingeing imminent. || The simple pleasures of baking. || These things happen. || Also, these things. || A lady with unusual drawers. || Daughter happy, wife displeased. || And finally, nature’s pecking order, a brief illustration.

From the realm of woke sophistication that is New York magazine:

What It’s Like to Isolate With Your Girlfriend and Her Other Boyfriend.

Or, put another way,

As the coronavirus forces millions of Americans to practice social distancing and stay in their homes, relationships are being put to the test… The situation is even more complicated when you’re staying inside not just with your partner, but with your partner’s partner as well.

To illustrate this terribly progressive lifestyle arrangement, we’re introduced to a Brooklynite comedian and podcaster named Billy, his girlfriend Megan, and his girlfriend Megan’s other boyfriend Kyle.

This is Billy’s first polyamorous relationship, and while he doesn’t know his metamour Kyle that well, he says he’s doing his best to respect his space.

Yes, metamour. Other descriptive choices are available.

Quizzed on the indoor celebrations of Meghan’s birthday, Billy says,

We didn’t get to do too much. We watched some TV shows, we smoked weed, I gave her some birthday sexual lovin’. 

I’m assuming there’s some kind of rota system. Perhaps a pecking order.

Speaking, as we were, of enthusiasts of crime, meet communist poet Wendy Trevino:

When I see tweets of this nature – repeated slogan, repeated slogan, repeated slogan – I tend to think the tweeter is either adolescent or unwell. Ms Trevino is supposedly a grown woman. One who appears to have a complicated relationship with her father. Sometimes the clichés are just too on-the-nose. When not advocating shoplifting and being titillated by visions of collapsing social norms, Ms Trevino, our communist poet and Antifa Gal, wants us to know how pleased she is by criminals escaping prison and taking hostages. What said prisoners may have done to be there in the first place, and what they may do again now that they’re at large, doesn’t seem to interest her.

Update, via the comments:

This is the nice version of what happens when the state justice system fails and private individuals must step in to fill the void. There is also a less nice version.

Over at Samizdata, Natalie Solent is pondering this item of crime and policing news. Or rather, non-policing news:

It was no surprise to anyone who knew Nicholas Richards, a career criminal with 25 convictions including 18 for shoplifting, that his motives were not entirely honourable when he walked into Boots. Witnesses described him stealing £170-worth of Gucci perfume; CCTV footage recovered from the chemist’s flagship branch in Piccadilly showed him putting the goods in his bag; and cameras worn by private security officers who detained him recorded him admitting the offence.

So staff at Boots, which loses between £10,000 and £12,000 a week to shoplifting, were upset when police officers arrived on the crime scene, decided the case was a “civil” matter and released Richards, who was already on a suspended sentence for theft. Boots was furious about the failure to dispense justice and decided to take part in what is believed to be the first private prosecution for shoplifting supported by a corporate victim.

The case is being brought by TM Eye. Set up by two former Metropolitan police officers, it is the parent company of My Local Bobby (MLB), which provides neighbourhood policing to residents, firms and shops. Its 30 “bobbies,” who wear red vests and caps, provide 24-hour cover. They are mostly former police officers and soldiers.

In the comments following which, a reader adds,

Anyone with 25 previous convictions should not be on our streets.

Some time ago, I suggested, not entirely flippantly, that a “three-strikes-and-we-put-you-out-to-sea-on-a-fucking-raft” policy might be quite popular. Readers are welcome to use the comments below to share alternatives.

Bit nippy out. || Banana-related breakthrough of note. || She does this better than you do. || His knife is sharper than yours. || Passionate exchanges. || Script Doctor recaps Picard with suitable ruthlessness: “Too bad the writers don’t think beyond the surface of their own ideas.” || Intriguing odour detected. || Disappointing soap. (h/t, Perry) || Upscale toasting. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || Restaurant scenes. || Nommy nommy nom. || The thrill of sorting nails. || Achievement unlocked. || 85,000 British Pathé newsreels, 1910-2008. || A brief history of the URL. || Ice resurfacing simulator. || I did not know this. || Hands up if you own one. || Folded paper. || And finally, a slaughterhouse-related mishap.