For Wear And Tear On The Upholstery
Yes, it’s time to remind patrons that this rickety barge, on whose seating your arses rest, is kept afloat by the kindness of strangers. If you’d like to help it remain buoyant a while longer, and remain ad-free, there’s an orange button below with which to monetise any love. Debit and credit cards are accepted. For those wishing to express their love regularly, there’s a monthly subscription option top left, use of which almost certainly earns you a place in heaven. And if one-click haste is called for, my PalPay.Me page can be found here. Additionally, any Amazon UK shopping done via this link or the search widget top right, or for Amazon US via this link, results in a small fee for your host at no extra cost to you.
For newcomers wishing to know more about what’s been going on here for the last thirteen years, in close to 3,000 posts and over 100,000 comments, the reheated series is a pretty good place to start – in particular, the end-of-year summaries, which convey the fullest flavour of what it is we do. A sort of blog concentrate. If you like what you find there… well, there’s lots more of that.
If you can, do take a moment to poke through the discussion threads too. The posts are intended as starting points, not full stops, and the comments are where much of the good stuff is waiting to be found. And do please join in.
As always, thanks for the support, the comments, and the company. Also, open thread. 
“Peccavi” (I’ve Sindh)” wrote Lord Ellen so proud:
More briefly Dalhousie wrote “Vovi” (I’ve Oudh)”
Ed — so sorry, couldn’t resist. Misspent youth reading the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations.
Love monetised.
Ping. Cin Cin!
Ping!
And to be “pinged”, if only to get a personalised thank you message
Bless you, madam, and bless you, sirs. Should you have above your window a partly-hollow curtain rail, from which hang some rather attractive vertical blinds, and should your Other Half detect the muffled sounds of a bee, may you never find yourselves standing motionless and in silence for the better part of a minute, and then another minute, listening to a curtain rail.
@WTP
Thank you for that introduction to Dover Bitch! Brought a wry smile to my lips.
I mean… not *that* kind of introduction…
Um… never mind.
An entire week long festival of assorted band names . . . .
—-No information provided as to where to get tickets . . .
As their name is in the biggest print, presumably Repent Or Perish is the closing night headliner.
WAP, look it up it makes me feel unclean to even know it exists. Some say it means Women Against the Patriarchy. I say it is one of the most misogynistic music videos ever made, but Heh what would I know? The thing that is REALLY annoying me is that all of the controversy is around the ‘racist’ trope that the appearance of Kendall Jenner is the problem.
Re WAP. Now I get it. So my female conservative but feminist-ish cousin (I know) posted some meme mocking this as Women Are Property. She got het fingers slapped by FB.
Forgot to ask…Zionist Overlord, were you previously familiar with either Dover Beach or Matthew Arnold?
Your blog is a godsend in these mad times, David.
*Stuffs cash in tip jar*
*Stuffs cash in tip jar*
Bless you, sir. May you never happily bound to your mailbox, expecting a parcel from overseas, only to find nothing but a leaflet from the local Labour MP.
‘ Rickety Barge’?
My small contribution to the Guild of Evil™ sent.
Something for your trouble, barkeep.
My small contribution to the Guild of Evil™ sent.
Something for your trouble, barkeep.
Bless you, sir, and madam. When using a bathroom other than your own, may you never detect a suspiciously high concentration of masking fragrance, suggesting the very recent use of an entire can of Oust.
‘Rickety Barge’?
With a ride that like, we could invade a small country.
[ Fondles globe, writes list. ]
Bless you, sir, and madam. When using a bathroom other than your own, may you never detect a suspiciously high concentration of masking fragrance, suggesting the very recent use of an entire can of Oust.
Or this
Or this
Heh. But obvious, quite recent stench-suppression is one of those things you don’t really want to encounter in an unfamiliar bathroom. Like a suspiciously warm toilet seat.
With a ride that like, we could invade a small country.
France. Let’s invade France.
France. Let’s invade France.
[ Glares across Channel, shakes fist. ]
Is Friday ephemeral, a passing whim, a might-have-been?
Is Friday ephemeral, a passing whim, a might-have-been?
Didn’t have time to put together something I was happy with. Contrary to appearances, and widespread rumour, there is a lot of backstage quality control.
Contrary to appearances, and widespread rumour, there is a lot of backstage quality control.
Just follow the directions.
Didn’t have time to put together something I was happy with
Happiness is paramount and we long for your digital smile from backstage.
Happiness is paramount and we long for your digital smile from backstage.
Well, yes. Quite. You’d be surprised how many posts make it to the rough draft stage then get filed away under insufficiently brilliant. One day, in my dotage, I should release a collection of my outtakes and B-sides.
And a blooper reel.
…recent use of an entire can of Oust.
Why use Oust when you there’s VIPoo.*
* Not a parody.
Why use Oust when you there’s VIPoo.*
Reeks of class.
Please ignore the “you”. Trying to complete two thoughts at once. Successful with neither.
Not sure if you watched the video, but apparently Hollywood starlets are able to poo in perfect circles–something called a devil’s donut. Jonathan Swift, First Admiral of Scatology would be proud.
And a blooper reel.
Someone call Bob Saget.
May I suggest Phriday Ephemera Phollies as a working title.
France. Let’s invade France.
What could possibly go wrong?
It appears that Michael Reinoehl, the AntiFa terrorist who murdered a Trump supporter in Portland last week, has been arrested with prejudice.
…arrested with prejudice.
Now let’s see if they go after his handlers – the several others who were spotting for/directing/performing damage assessment for the little death squad Reinoehl was just a pawn for.
From the cheap seats in back, ping! This place is so highbrow with all them fancy words and stuff. Makes me feel all sophisticated to hang out here.
From the cheap seats in back, ping!
Bless you, sir. May your local old-school butcher, a ruddy-faced Yorkshireman-of-girth, refer to you as “duck.”
Makes me feel all sophisticated to hang out here.
[ Clutches fur coat, lifts nose. ]
“Is it too early to argue that Antifa are not human beings?”
Then there is the view that Antifa and other groups represent a new “metahuman” species arising from the failing Darwinian experiment of homo sapiens.
“What is a Metahuman? It’s achieving a higher state of awareness to tap into the power of creativity and evolution that makes life’s possibilities abundant. And the road to becoming Metahuman starts with simply waking up.” – Deepak Chopra
https://community.virginpulse.com/metahuman-deepak-chopra-webinar
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8701505/US-academic-suspended-using-Chinese-word-um-sounded-like-racial-slur.html
Anyone who knows Chinese knows how nuts this is.
Anyone who knows Chinese knows how nuts this is.
Ah, yes, USC, known colloquially as the University of Spoiled Children.
Lol.
Lol.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Also, bonus points for use of Footloose.
I was jangling a bunch of pounds into the tip jar, when I detected the fizzle of Google bots reporting my counter-culture-wars donation to…Black Olives Matter.
It can only be a matter of time before an angry crowd of monosyllabic pitchfork wavers appears outside the wrong house. I’m careful about these things!
Thanks for all the shared wisdom.
Thanks for all the shared wisdom.
I’ve heard it called worse.
jangling a bunch of pounds into the tip jar,
Bless you, sir. Should you over-toast toast, may your Other Half not notice and continue chomping, oblivious. Instead of, say, taking one bite, looking at you with deep suspicion, then turning over said toast to see the formerly-hidden lower surface, now blackened into a previously unknown state of matter.
“Anyone who knows Chinese knows how nuts this is.”
I know zero Chinese, and I know it’s nuts.
Related (from 2003):
“…Howard, head of the Office of Public Advocate for D.C. Mayor Anthony Williams, described his own administration of a particular fund as “niggardly” in the presence of two of his staff members…Rumors circulated that he had in fact used a racial epithet (one attribution claimed he said, “I’m tired of all these niggers calling me with their problems”), and he eventually resigned…Howard was pressured to resign by people who, as columnist Tony Snow put it, “actually demanded that he apologize for their ignorance.”
https://www.straightdope.com/21342865/is-niggardly-a-racist-word
Belated ping!
now blackened into a previously unknown state of matter
(You have no idea how long that took me on an android Samsung)
Blackened matter would be carbon. In Canada you would now owe the government 5£ tax.
Belated ping!
Bless you, sir. May you happen to notice, entirely by accident, that the retail price of a wedding ring identical to your own, bought only a year ago, has increased quite dramatically.
(You have no idea how long that took me on an android Samsung)
Take comfort in the knowledge that I do appreciate it when people italicise short extracts of previous comments. (And also when they use blockquote for lengthier quoted chunks.)
Blackened matter would be carbon.
Oh, I think I’d somehow gone beyond mere carbon and into uncharted territory.
As this is the latest open thread, I’ll be a good boy and post this here. It’s…ummm…fabulous?
https://youtu.be/8ds6LHzjJnU
Lurked for years. Just wanted to say thanks.
Tip jar hit.
Lurked for years. Just wanted to say thanks.
You’re welcome. There’s little in life sweeter than a lurker de-lurking.
Tip jar hit.
Except, of course, that.
Bless you, sir. Should relatives be visiting, may your young daughter never enquire as to particulars of the evening meal with the words – uttered innocently but quite loudly – “Mom, are we having that chewy meat again?”
It’s…ummm…fabulous?
Fabulosity confirmed!
Ah, Right, every once in awhile one actually remembers to push a virtual button.
Oh, Brother, where on Cape Breton art Ma and Pa and Dudley and Peter??!?!
Belated ping. Thanks, gracious host.
Belated ping.
Bless you, sir. May you always clean your grill rack as thoroughly, and lovingly, as you did that very first time.