Survival Skills
You should chew your food until it is small enough to swallow easily,
The Guardian, paper of the enlightened, tells its readers how to chew food.
Also, open thread.
Update:
In the comments, via Darleen, behold the bedlamite dance.
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Does it teach them how to walk at the same time?
Next week in the Guardian: how to shit.
Don’t eat bananas sideways.
It reminded me of this.
What?
How to tie shoelaces.
Next week in The Guardian: “wipe here”.
Isn’t this the sort of thing we had les indespensables Petula Clark for?
So. Did anyone do anything wildly exciting over the weekend?
Nice to see Fletcherism hasn’t been forgotten, but also from the Guardian a rare moment of accuracy, Fletcherism is quackery.
However, speaking of junk science and the Guardian,
This is utter BS, the main site of carbohydrate digestion is, in fact, the small intestine which, our nutritionist might be surprised to learn, in not only post-gastric, but where the pancreas via the common bile duct and accessory pancreatic duct dumps amylase to digest carbohydrates into the duodenum after the stomach has mechanically churned them, and everything else, into a rather disgusting sludge (as anyone who has ever opened a stomach can attest*). Compared to the small intestine, the amount of amylitic digestion that occurs due to saliva is charitably described as minute.
*(No offense to you haggis fans out there, YMMV)
Honk, honk.
Honk, honk.
Sigh. Well, with Dr. Who gone Woke, it was inevitable that another tradition had to go Woke too.
What is wrong with enjoying a male lead adventure story without heavy handed preaching and diversity box-ticking? Speaking only for myself, I find the latter boring as all heck. I know there’s something wrong with me – as a female I’m supposed to need/want a strong fierce female lead, delve deeply into inner feelings, stick it to the Patriarchy, and of course since it’s 2019, everyone has to get on board with the diversity box-ticking. Bleh! Boring! Preachy!
I just want a ripping good yarn, lots of action, bad guys to destroy, good wins in the end. When I read/watch fictional stories, I’m looking for an escape from the drudgery of the real world. Why is that wrong?
So. Did anyone do anything wildly exciting over the weekend?
I googled comparisons of teacher pay and per pupil spending twixt various US states and vs. UK and other OECDEFGHIJKLMNOP countries. And rotated my tires. But aside from that it was too damn hot. Listened to my extensive collection of Petula Clark long playing records. Got my ya-yas out up in Georgia over the Fourth (sorry) by taking out one of the many new boats available at my disposal. Just put gas in it and go. No muss, no fuss, no rental fee, no $40,000 foolishly poured into a hole in the water.
You?
Honk, honk.
Isn’t she supposed to be the operative given the 007 designation until Bond returns from retirement?
You?
I’ve been planning something I can’t disclose just yet and which you heathens most likely won’t care about. Other than that, I cooked a glorious steak pie, complained about the humidity, binged on re-watching Bosch, and sat through Jon Baird’s biopic Stan & Ollie, which was acclaimed by critics, but which proved rather lifeless and by no means compelling. In fact, I lost interest and bailed before the end.
So, clearly, I’m living the dream.
Isn’t she supposed to be the operative given the 007 designation until Bond returns from retirement?
No idea on the movie, or attempt thereof, given how badly “Spectre” turned out.
Beyond that, noting “00” simply being a descriptive designator, 00x is rather going to get handed around as assorted retire or get killed off.
—And on top of that there will also be both the franchise marketing, and now prolly also the floundering about for lack of ideas, as we saw in “Spectre”.
given how badly “Spectre” turned out.
It wasn’t a great film, no. Among its other flaws, making Blofeld and Bond related just seemed unnecessary and added nothing of consequence.
The gay British war hero Alan Turing, the mathematical genius who was prosecuted for his sexuality after the war was over, becomes the first gay person to appear on a British banknote. Naturally, feminists are unhappy about it:
https://twitter.com/CCriadoPerez/status/1150741371118071808
Naturally, feminists are unhappy about it
Presumably, Ms Criado-Perez imagines that her comments make her look good. And not like a whiny, ungrateful and obnoxious cow.
I’d imagine that she thinks her comments do make her look good, and, to a certain section of her peers, they probably do. To everyone else, however, she comes across as a whinging, spiteful bitch. One of those sixth form “it-girls” who never grew up.
… making Blofeld and Bond related just seemed unnecessary…
Not to mention a ripoff of Austin Powers being Dr. Evil’s brother.
…feminists are unhappy about it…
I’m thinking, as it is generally not considered a compliment, she might want to reconsider the wording on that last bit.
Naturally, feminists are unhappy about it
Presumably, Ms Criado-Perez imagines that her comments make her look good. And not like a whiny, ungrateful and obnoxious cow.
Sometimes I pine for the pre-internet days when people like Ms. Greedo-Perez could fume and rage against such indignities to her absolute person within her little circle of friends, and I could attend to my life blissfully unaware that she even exists. Kinda like I was five minutes ago.
I hate all the things.
I could attend to my life blissfully unaware that she even exists.
You mean you missed her tirade against deodorant?
So. Did anyone do anything wildly exciting over the weekend?
I swallowed most of my food without chewing it completely. But I had an excuse, I had a molar pulled on Friday. Feeling a bit like a hillbilly.
Oh, and I started watching Season 1 of Bosch on your advice, I’m up to episode 8. Great viewing so far.
she might want to reconsider the wording on that last bit.
I noticed that too. When I saw she said she was a lobbyist for Big Vagina, I did wonder if that meant she was a massive c*nt who’d been chosen by massive c*nts, to represent massive c*nts who want to be as massively c*nty as possible. Because if so, she’s doing an outstanding job.
acclaimed by critics, but which proved rather lifeless and by no means compelling.
Imagine my shock.
I’m looking for an escape from the drudgery of the real world. Why is that wrong?
Paging Mr. Lewis:
Great viewing so far.
And it gets better. Re-watching the whole thing, I remembered how much I like Honey Chandler’s arc and the payoff in season five… But I’ve said too much.
I don’t like sport at all, but have a husband devoted to it; so we watched Federer lose, having been within two points of winning. Then we watched England win, having been within one run of losing. Roller-coaster time…
That Bond article has got to be a wind-up, whoever has the 007 badge has a licence to kill, normally leading to wholesale murder and destruction, so f*cking someone for information is not really going to bother them, #MeToo or not, and why would a female Bond be any more seductive or murderous than a male one, the whole point of the franchise is the unusual ways Bond is able to get the job done, whether it’s sh*gging the baddies mistress (or right-hand – remember May Day) or blowing their brains out.
Found while researching – https://www.sporcle.com/games/Mateo56/james-bond-villians-how-did-they-die
I’m looking for an escape from the drudgery of the real world. Why is that wrong?
Oooh, ooh! I know this one! Learnt it in college…Escapism is the means by which the ruling class controls the masses. It distracts the masses from achieving true consciousness by generating and perpetuating stereotypes such as how a family should be, what beauty is, how a certain race is. It’s a form of false consciousness. ET, The Extraterrestrial was at one time the worst example of this problem. And James Bond, steeped as his character is in the mythology that Socialism and Communism are somehow “bad” things, is the worst of them.
Hope that helps!
we watched Federer lose, having been within two points of winning. Then we watched England win, having been within one run of losing.
So that’s what the cab driver was banging on about.
I remembered how much I like Honey Chandler’s arc and the payoff in season five…
She’s played a relatively small role so far in season one but she has the makings of a great nemesis. It doesn’t hurt that she’s also pretty hot.
You mean you missed her tirade against deodorant?
Arrrrgggh! Now I REALLY hate all the things. (Folds arms, curmudgeon-like, and mutters.)
I need a drink, barman. And 10 of those pickled eggs. Maybe that’ll send me off to join the choir invisible.
She’s played a relatively small role so far in season one but she has the makings of a great nemesis.
It’s a great part and over time she becomes someone you look forward to seeing. Thing is, I’m not generally a huge fan of ‘gritty detective dramas’, but Bosch is strong on so many fronts – the writing and acting, the photography, the slow-burn pacing, and the moments of genuine tension and alarm.
“Wipe here” would be a more widely useful topic than chewing. Provide extra copies to West Coast cities. Print the article on tissue paper to enhance the “read-do” association.
Did anyone do anything wildly exciting over the weekend?
Outdoor cooking of dead animals, gin, maintaining a state of nervous agitation during cricket.
given how badly “Spectre” turned out.
I liked Spectre. Although that might have been because of the marvellous French bird. I don’t pay much attention to the plots.
Naturally, feminists are unhappy about it
I bet they’d have been overjoyed if they’d put Maggie on.
…Bosch is strong on so many fronts – the writing…
I read a lot of short mystery/detective/crime fiction. I had read a couple of Bosch short stories that Connelly had published in The Strand Magazine. I enjoyed them at the time. So it was easy to check out the series after subscribing to Amazon Prime.
how to chew food
I have met some intellectuals–or at last people with high IQ’s and/or advanced degrees–who are conspicuously lacking in various basic skills.
“given how badly ‘Spectre’ turned out”
It’s still the only Bond movie I’ve never seen. Not because I’ve heard anything spectacularly bad; I just can’t be bothered. Casino Royale was such a great start for Craig in so many ways, not least because they made it an origin story, setting up some genuine anticipation for the next one. And did nothing with it. Why should I watch Spectre, other than it’s Yet Another Bond Movie?
I still say that once Eon got the rights to Casino Royale they should have gone on to remake all the books, in order, in the (relatively) true-to-the-novel style of the first. A proper reboot. Personally, I’d have done them as straight ’50s period pieces, but they blew that right off the bat.
“Then we watched England win, having been within one run of losing.”
Good Lord, but that was intense. I hadn’t really bothered with the World Cup at all until the last few overs of the Final, but they were the most exciting cricket I’ve seen since the Ashes in 2005.
Excellent Grand Prix at Silverstone, too.
Sunshine? What sunshine?
Sunshine? What sunshine?
[ Perspires. Shakes fist at sky. ]
It’s still the only Bond movie I’ve never seen. Not because I’ve heard anything spectacularly bad; I just can’t be bothered.
I wouldn’t say it was awful, but following Skyfall, which I enjoyed, it was decidedly meh. (Not unlike how I had great fun watching Infinity War and was then seriously underwhelmed by Endgame.)
Naturally, feminists are unhappy about it
She’s now protected her tweets. I wonder why?
sat through Jon Baird’s biopic Stan & Ollie, which was acclaimed by critics, but which proved rather lifeless and by no means compelling
I’ve found the most downrated movies on Rotten Tomatoes to be the funniest. I was shocked at how hilarious “Holmes and Watson” was. Judging from the trailer, it looked dire. What it missed was that each major scene was a master class on how to set the premise, then build laughs off it with more and more logical but outrageous acts until you feel ashamed and delighted at what you’re laughing at.
Same for Melissa McCarthy’s recent run of movies. Critics have been savaging them, but I thought they were pretty sharp, especially in their depiction of the “deplorables.” For example, those Americans who could hear a line like “I’ll bet she does her grocery shopping at CVS” and bust out laughing. (Translation: CVS is a drug store chain which sells basic foods in refrigerated cases.)
For extra fun, watch her in “Tammy” (low-rent white trash character) followed by “The Boss” (think dictatorial Martha Stewart). She’s a sharp actress in both roles.
But what do I know? I like comedies I can laugh at (speaking of Bond AND MC, “Spy” is on my top 10 comedy list). Our betters prefer “New Yorker”-type humor, which you’re not supposed to laugh at, but nod knowingly. Perhaps a mild chuckle at most.
One does not read New Yorker ‘humor’ to be amused but rather to be validated.
“New Yorker”-type humor, which you’re not supposed to laugh at, but nod knowingly. Perhaps a mild chuckle at most.
As a friend of mine used to say about SNL, “It’s art comedy. You’re not supposed to laugh.”
I like Melissa McCarthy as an actress and I’ve always felt she’s been terribly miscast and misdirected. Now that she’s lost a ton of weight and is doing Serious Movies I hope she gets more opportunity. Chris Farley once said “‘Fatty fall down’ is the only real role for an overweight comic”. McCarthy’s been shoehorned into bad slapstick for too long. It’s double jeopardy; nobody wants to watch a woman get physically injured on screen.
I had a molar pulled on Friday. Feeling a bit like a hillbilly.
Momma always said that the dentist was the devil.
Perspires. Shakes fist at sky.
A balmy 98F (so 36.6666666 etc. in French units) here in centralish Texas. Somewhat warmer in the CONEX storage boxes which I was just inspecting.
Weekend activities…not a lot. Generic chores, lots of lazing about, much streaming anime viewed, some (insufficient)time spent in my (air-conditioned) shed trying to work up the enthusiasm to finish my niece’s birthday present. Oh, and avoiding people! So Win!:-D.
A balmy 98F (so 36.6666666 etc. in French units) here in centralish Texas.
But it’s a dry heat, right? 😉
I had a weekend of editing digitized 30 year-old VHS tapes from and of family members. Won’t have to do that any more.
A balmy 98F (so 36.6666666 etc. in French units) here in centralish Texas.
We had a cold snap, it plummeted to 92F (32.8 Euros) in our corner of Dixie, but it is a wet heat. Animals that live outdoors are growing gills.
Survival skills in the wild have sure changed from my days in Scouting in the last century…
Survival skills in the wild have sure changed from my days in Scouting in the last century…
Lord, ain’t that the truth. Last time we had hurricanes with any significant power outages, while sympathetic to those who were without power longer than me, I got real tired of hearing the whining about having to go a couple days without A/C in a clean house with a shower, running water, and functioning toilets and an office to go to work in with all functioning amenities during the day. We used to summer camp in north central Florida in canvass tents, no A/C, mosquitoes, one year a caterpillar infestation, had to haul our fresh water in 5 gallon jugs a half mile or so to our camp, came home with tics in places I still don’t want to talk about, shower was outside, smelly latrine to shit in where mosquitoes laid in wait. And I couldn’t even bitch about it lest hearing my father tell me about worse conditions in the south Pacific and how I was lucky I wasn’t getting shot at.
Ahh, but we were happy then…
We had a cold snap
At 26.11S, we’re deep into winter. A brisk 14C (58F in old money) in the shade. The icy sou’ wester has gone. It’s still, the sky as seamless as an egg. Across the valley, someone is pootling around the golf course in their cart. In the adjoining paddock, cattle are sunning themselves.
We had a boring weekend. Except the phone died.
You should chew your food until it is small enough to swallow easily,
I believe the principle is that so long as any one person anywhere has either no teeth or trouble swallowing, no one should be allowed to chew anything.
Naturally, feminists are unhappy
Don’t understand why that phrase had to be preceded by anything at all.
Did anyone do anything wildly exciting over the weekend?
Axe throwing!
Hi WTP
Well, I had to walk to school 10 miles uphill both ways!
I liked Spectre. Although that might have been because of the marvellous French bird. I don’t pay much attention to the plots.
That, basically, would be the extent and limit for “Spectre”, barring the one bit that was interesting. The first five minutes are quite interesting and interestingly done, and then once past the first jump cut it’s all crap through to the closing credits.
Well, I had to walk to school 10 miles uphill both ways!
Yeah, well we had to walk 10 miles uphill both ways, in the snow, with barbed wire wrapped around our bare feet for traction.
Why should I watch Spectre, other than it’s Yet Another Bond Movie?
“Spectre” is a close cousin to the Mickey Mouse attempts at making Star Wars.
Somehow assorted production teams have gotten the idea of Soooo, we haven’t been able to come up with any good story bits, but there is all the stuff that’s been done before, so we’ll just grab bits of that, throw it at the screen until we run out of Stuff, roll the credits, and then have the marketers chant loudly about how wonderful an original movie we’ve made!!!!
You had barbed wire? We would have given anything for fancy-schmancy barbed wire. We had to make our own by threading catgut through individual sand spurs using needles shaved off of the picked though bones of the previous evening’s dinner rat.
Well, I had to walk to school 10 miles uphill both ways!
Lightweight. Get back to me when you’ve picked a summer crop of pineapples, wearing only shorts and a tee shirt.
If I wanted to cast a group of leftwing twits to create a fully mockable video, I could never improve on this.
fully mockable video
What…what is with the clapping?
It really is quite interesting to see the concordance between the way these people behave when confronted with opposing views and someone with complex PTSD who’s been triggered. They aren’t well.
They aren’t well.
Wokeness does seem to attract the unwell in concentrations that are, to say the least, sociologically interesting. And I did chuckle when smug chappie mentioned optics.
A demand for cartoonish purity.
Note the admission that black people, gay people, etc., aren’t welcome unless they conform and pretend to be victims, mascots of their Designated Victim Groups, thereby being exploitable.
And this is applauded.
What…what is with the clapping?
It deters or interrupts any meaningful reply, any attempt at counterargument, and, as seen above, it can be deployed in a way that’s physically obnoxious. Just short of warranting an equally physical response.
Just short of warranting an equally physical response.
It did occur to me that this might be the equivalent of Nathan Phillips’ aggressive drumming, an attempt to provoke an instinctive violent response by engaging in behaviour likely to be interpreted by the hindbrain as an incipient assault.
But honestly, that woman is not thinking that clearly. She’s in hysterics.
@WTP
Oh, we used to dream of having dinner rat!
… would’ve been a palace to us…
What…what is with the clapping?
Looks like “Four legs good, two legs bad” to me.
@bgates
I believe the principle is that so long as any one person anywhere has either no teeth or trouble swallowing, no one should be allowed to chew anything.
That’s exactly right. The whole article is an affront to the masticationally-challenged hupersons. I expect it won’t last long. Who wants to page Titania?
But honestly, that woman is not thinking that clearly. She’s in hysterics.
Or cranked on stimulants, or both. Whichever, she’s one notch away from having the nasty, screeching id slapped out of her face. Still, it’s good to be reminded of the psychology in play, and the types of personalities most drawn to these things.
The balding guy in the purple dress with the big “boobs” is behaving normally. So there’s that. Also, props to him for picking out something nice to wear. People dress like such slobs anyone. Of course he could stand to have his hair done.
A demand for cartoonish purity.
Remember “keeping it real” and “acting white” and “oreo”?
But it’s a dry heat, right? 😉
If only:-P.
Regarding Darleen’s contribution…this business will get out of control.
On Trump and ingrate immigrants.
It was a brilliant insistence on having public debate occur in reality world, not in the Leftist’s dystopian fantasy world.
Well to be fair, it’s not just the left. Many on the right, many of the “thought leaders” and their sycophant wannabes, embrace the dystopian fantasy perceptions and are happy to follow the pied piper of TDS down that path to that dystopian fantasy world so long as it reinforces their own TDS. The NeverTrumpers’ understanding and acceptance of people who give tacit support to al Qaeda far exceeds their capacity to try to understand Trump or those who support his policies and accomplishments, even if still holding some reservations about certain personal attributes of the man himself.
Well to be fair, it’s not just the left.
One might, as Charles Cooke does, argue that Trump’s comments are inappropriate or improper in terms of Presidential protocol; but it’s more improper that there’s a need for it to be said at all, which there is. When even the notion of associating immigration with gratitude seems somehow scandalous, and when the notion of gratitude itself is apparently evaporating from much of the culture, this is not a good sign for the culture in question.
One might, as Charles Cooke does, argue that Trump’s comments are inappropriate or improper
Yeah, I had that comment mostly written before going back to read the original more fully and realizing that what you quoted was a reaction of Insta to Cooke. Where Cook referenced “David” I got an uh-oh feeling as it didn’t seem like he was referencing you. Thus I discover that he was kind of defending David French’s TDS-addled comment. And we’re back at the NeverTrump world again. It is stunning to me (I really have got to stop saying this as deep down inside in places I don’t talk about at cocktail parties, it doesn’t surprise me in the least) that the NT crowd falls in with the “RACIST, RACIST, RACIST” response to what was essentially, simply a common sense statement of the obvious. If they would grant POTUS even the tiniest percentage of leeway that they grant to this Gang of Four in their tacit support of al Qaeda, his statement is far from racist. Were the people he was addressing from Russia or Cuba or such, the same concepts would apply. Go back and fix the beam in the eye of your own damn country then maybe you can contribute to addressing the mote in ours.
The problem isn’t food. It is that The Guardian is so damned indigestible.
Speaking of the twitters, apparently Lindsay Shepherd has been permanently banned after allegedly insulting a “trans” woman’s non existent female reproductive apparatus, again going to show that social media isn’t.
Lindsay Shepherd has been permanently banned after allegedly insulting a “trans” woman’s non existent female reproductive apparatus,
The chap in question has been mentioned here before.
I remember Lindsay. She got fired from a college for speaking the truth.
She got fired from a college for speaking the truth.
It was a revealing, and rather sinister, incident.
Lindsay Shepherd has been permanently banned after allegedly insulting a “trans” woman’s non existent female reproductive apparatus
Why is the non-Lindsay human allowed to insult Lindsay’s reproductive apparatus, while Lindsay gets banned for returning the favor?
Why is the non-Lindsay human allowed to insult Lindsay’s reproductive apparatus, while Lindsay gets banned for returning the favor?
Because that’s the way justice is dispensed these days. The logical answer is to give them both a time out on the bottom stair. But now, there’s a pecking order and social justice (determined by whom, I’m not certain) usually requires the representative of the most privileged group to bear the weight of the punishment.
We’ve moved away from individual responsibility. Responsibility is now laid at the feet of a group or a representative of the perceived representative of a group.
The logical answer is to give them both a time out on the bottom stair.
Why? He/She/It started it. We’ve moved away from mutual individual responsibility because we don’t hold the individual responsible. We let them get away with crap (zero responsibility) and when someone pushes back we blame the victim as much as the original perp. Is it any wonder they keep winning. (x + 1)/2 for all values of x >= 1 will always yield a win ratio of >= 50%.
Why?
Hockey has it right. Let them duke it out and when it’s over send them both to the penalty box. It’s not like they were having any kind of a substantitive argument. If you’d like to referee puerile name calling arguments you’re welcome to it.
If Lindsay had chosen not to get into a jousting match and instead reported her slagger, there’s a good chance he would be facing the ban today and not Lindsay. I’m not saying I like it or that it’s right. I personally believe this “person” is a vile sociopath but sociopaths know how to get the most inside and outside of the rules.
David, were you able to find out if that “Lion King” thing was parody or not?
Let them duke it out and when it’s over send them both to the penalty box.
Nah, let them duke it out and then ignore them (if you’re the Twitter admins anyway). Until one or the other makes an actionable threat, they’re just slagging one another, which is (or should be) well within their rights.
Well, in a sane society anyway.
If Lindsay had chosen not to get into a jousting match and instead reported her slagger, there’s a good chance he would be facing the ban today and not Lindsay.
Yeah, I doubt that. Again, “it” was the aggressor and yet they banned Shepherd. By what logic does one expect that given that she was banned and he/it still has not been held accountable do you think that he/it would have been held accountable if she had reported him/it? I don’t follow this logic. It is itself an abdication of responsibility by those with power to not have to deal with the situation. They simply cop-out and blame all parties equally. Basically what it boils down to is that it’s much easier to screw decent people because they are less likely to make a fuss. A-holes will make more work, more risk, more misery.
So. Did anyone do anything
I got a new phone and heat exhaustion, not necessarily in that order.
It’s supposed to get up near 100 F here Saturday, quite unusual for the area.
Planned Parenthood president ousted for refusing to use trans-inclusive language:
https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/336203/
Never mind insane asylums for the homeless. How about asylums for the woke?
I got a new phone and heat exhaustion
I told you not to get the GE diesel electric model. I told you.
Ah, but the thrill was worth it. (Which accounts for most of the stupid things we do.)
You knew it was coming, I am just surprised they didn’t throw Nazi in there as well because of von Braun.
I tidied the spare room and the garage, which included dismantling a desk and shifting several bookcases full of books. And I took the resulting pile of rubbish to the refuse station. I felt very virtuous throwing away things that I’d held on to for twenty years.
Maybe the SJW when they need a buzz of virtue should tidy their rooms. Although that would be a bit Jordan Peterson for them, I suppose.
Hot take detected:
Via Jen.
Hot take detected
Dumb bint detected.
fully mockable video
Long time listener, first time caller…
Is that Larry from the 3 stooges ?
Long time listener, first time caller…
Welcome aboard. Do help yourself to snacks.
Hot take detected
There is not much to add to the replies to that idiocy except to wonder if her claim to being an equestrian means real horses, or whether she is a furry, or one of those idiots who pretends to be a horse.
Speaking of things that may not be what they appear to be, and in case you missed it, congrats to this Kiwi female weight lifter who tragically is losing a battle with male pattern baldness, but proudly doing his bit to uphold the stereotype of women being lousy drivers.
There are so many softball jokes in there…
Fully Mockable Video, Take 2: this bozo is running for president.