An Evil Deodorant
Writing in the Guardian, feminist campaigner Caroline Criado-Perez alerts us to another pressing issue of the day:
There’s a new ad on the woman-hating block… I first saw the ad this weekend, and it’s been niggling away at me ever since.
Time well spent, no doubt. The pressing issue is of course Vagisil deodorant, a tool of the Patriarchy with insidious mind-warping effects.
It’s partly its insidiousness in presenting Vagisil as if they are on our side – no need to worry girls, this odour is completely normal! The thing is, if this supposed odour… is completely normal, there would be no need for a product to deal with it, would there?
I fear I’m venturing into alien territory here, given my limited knowledge of how ladies smell below the waist – some more than others, apparently. But still, something obvious ought to be said. There are any number of human odours, secretions and emissions that are normal and generated to varying degrees, but this doesn’t mean one would necessarily wish to share them with others. Even as a display of defiant womanhood. Years ago, I worked with a big-boned lady with unusually strong body odour. She was, so far as I could tell, scrupulously clean and, judging by the array of deodorants in her handbag, very much aware of this distinctive characteristic. Her battle with perspiration and pungency was, sadly, being lost, especially during summer, though I and other colleagues were appreciative of her efforts to minimise the social fallout.
What Vagisil does is pretend to be our friend, helping us deal with this smell that’s been plaguing our social life; in reality they are manipulating us into thinking we stink in the first place… adding yet another paranoia to the long list carried around by the 21st century woman trying to survive in a system that teaches them to hate themselves.
Yes, of course. The option to deodorise one’s nethers and render them fragrant – say, before engaging in some intimate beastliness – isn’t a matter of, um, taste or personal judgment, but constitutes “woman-hating.” And the existence of said option not only “attacks and diminishes women’s self-confidence,” it teaches those same women – the ones with no minds of their own, it seems – to “hate themselves.” Because womenfolk simply can’t be trusted to determine whether a product is useful or a complete waste of money. Which, on reflection, is an odd position for a feminist
campaigner to take. Should someone think to market Zesty Scrotal Freshness Wipes, I’m pretty sure I’d retain the wherewithal to decide for myself whether to rush out and buy a multipack or stick with showering and a little talc.
After the customary denunciation of the market and its morally corrupting effects, and intimations that women
are mere flotsam on an ocean of advertising, Ms Criado-Perez informs us, somewhat triumphantly:
I’m not buying Vagisil. Ever.
The market in action. Problem solved.
Update:
Good
news, menfolk! There’s been a miracle breakthrough in male hygiene technology…
Fresh
Balls. “The solution for men. Contains oatmeal.”
Also,
Dude Wipes. “For hands, face and other areas.”
Other downstairs grooming products are also available.
Well, I for one learned something today.
By all means tickle my tip jar. I feel an urge to shop.
Which, on reflection, is an odd position for a feminist campaigner to take.
It’s the basic message of every Guardian feminist I’ve ever read.
Zesty Scrotal Freshness Wipes
Please let these be real.
Please let these be real.
Ahem. See update.
Fresh Balls. “The solution for men. Contains oatmeal.”
The implication that my balls sometimes get sweaty is making me paranoid and insecure. I’d better write an article for the Guardian.
Ladies, if you refrain from farting in public, you are allowing yourself to be oppressed by the Patriarchy. And then there’s this..
http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/04/30/is-pooping-the-last-taboo-for-women-at-work/
Related from Todd Yohn.
Your welcome.
Shit. “You’re”
The implication that my balls sometimes get sweaty is making me paranoid and insecure. I’d better write an article for the Guardian.
As Anna says, it’s pretty much the template for every other Guardian article. And so if you spot an advert that’s mildly irritating, instead of muting it or turning it off you must write an article claiming that it’s wrecking women’s lives, shattering their self-esteem and befuddling their little cotton heads. In the name of feminism, no less. The denunciation of feminine hygiene products is a particular Guardian staple. The same article seems to get wheeled out every few months. I think it’s a rite of passage or something.
It’s strange how many people on the left seem to regard advertisers as having almost supernatural powers, at least over other people. Their inferiors, presumably. But as I said some time ago, my desire for a clean shirt has very little to do with adverts for detergent.
[ Edited. ]
Fresh Balls. “The solution for men. Contains oatmeal.”
Apparently it’s “easy to apply”. Good to know.
Apparently it’s “easy to apply”. Good to know.
And Christmas is coming. Over at Amazon it gets a rave review from a US marine, who provides a worryingly thorough description of his undeodorised predicament. “Kept me fresh, even at war!”
While this is good (maybe top 10) it’s still not in the same league as the oppressive patriarchy of the barb-q from a few months back
There is something about feminism that promotes a certain sort of ankle-hugging, sobbing, crybaby type of personality. It’s annoying in a five year old, enraging at the age of twenty five.
“…manipulating us into thinking we stink in the first place…”
The vagaries of human attraction notwithstanding, either you do, or you don’t.
“Contains Oatmeal. Not for use near goats.”
Sam, you can’t be paranoid and insecure enough for the ‘Guardian’ if you can work your thermostat:
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/10/nation-buffoons-thermostats-central-heating
Ahem. See update.
Gender equality is a wonderful thing. ;D
All three on your Christmas list?
All three on your Christmas list?
I’d rather have socks.
The third item down, the hair removal mitten, comes with what I at first thought were emery boards. For twenty seconds or so that was a little worrying.
the hair removal mitten, comes with what I at first thought were emery boards.
Yikes!
That article reminded me of the South Park episode where Vagisil end up sponsoring Cartman’s Nascar team (don’t ask), with the president of Vagisil saying things like this:
Vagisil is very excited to be a part of the NASCAR phenomenon, Chris. You know, I… first created Vagisil to try and help my wife, Patty. She is my Muse, my flame. Wherever Patty goes her smile lights up the room. Her vagina, on the other hand, clears the room and makes it uninhabitable for weeks.
“Caroline thingy” as she’s sometimes known
adding yet another paranoia to the long list carried around by the 21st century woman trying to survive in a system that teaches them to hate themselves
There’s paranoia there alright – all this stuff about a ‘system’ teaching you things. And notice she’s displaying the charming behaviour of calling everything she doesn’t like ‘hatred’. It’s feminism’s second favourite word, these days – just after ‘misogyny’.
The task of writing a piece for CiF (there are 1 or 2 like this every day) seems to boil down to seeing something on the tube – probably an advert – and trying to think of an oppressive message that it might carry (from the ‘system’ that wants women to ‘hate’ themselves). Bingo, you’re off.
The comments section usually contains something like “A culture as riddled with misogyny as ours” 20 times over.
And the many obviously deleted comments* are good; they contain a message about “community standards”, giving the impression that these messages were so full of misogynistic bile that they had to be removed for public health reasons (in fact they were probably chosen at random)
* I counted 16 on one page of comments under a recent piece
I for one would buy “Zesty Scrotal Freshness Wipes”, at least once. The name alone… and the experience of taking these out through a supermarket checkout manned (personed ?) by some youngish female would be something to be anticipated.
But I am probably just jealous that I didn’t think of the name and market the concept first…
What I want to know is whether Bare Balm would work on facial hair. I hate shaving, but Nair for Men didn’t do anything but stink up the bathroom.
I find this lamentatoin quite ironic given that people in the west still tend to argue in favour of chopping off a babies foreskin with reasons like “because the penis is cleaner that way”
But seriously, woe to the colonised female consumer with a fragrant fanny.
Any use as a mouthwash?
These CiF people have a lot in common with the more excitable of Middle Ages religious zealots, with their ability to detect heresy in almost homeopathic quantities. It’s quite a knack really: to be able to look at the mundane, twist one’s head just so, and see the baleful aura of the Patriarchy refracting off it. One is put in mind of Witchfinders and other such inquisitors, with whom they share the quality that once guilt has been pronounced all protestations to the contrary are worthless. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be, to be unable to see the world except through the lens of cod Marxist agitprop. Imagine being Penny Dreadful and instead of thinking, “this is me, Penny Dreadful, eating a Jaffa Cake” it’s always, “this is me, Penny Dreadful, eating a Jaffa Cake in the Vanguard of the Proletariat.” Gadzooks.
And notice she’s displaying the charming behaviour of calling everything she doesn’t like ‘hatred’.
Unearned conclusions and begged questions are like air to Guardian columnists. It’s almost part of the training. And it’s odd that Ms Criado-Perez doesn’t explain what enables her, unlike all those other women, to resist the mind-warping powers of deodorant adverts. If she can choose which products to buy or not buy, and does so triumphantly, why does she assume other women can’t? Is there something wrong with them? Has she alone figured out how to be sceptical about adverts and not just surrender to them? Remember, she’s not talking about children, but adults. Grown women.
Likewise, in previous articles she’s assumed that a 1:1 gender ratio is the natural default in all spheres of life, including rugby and football reporting, and that any deviation from this assumed ideal is in itself proof of oppression, discrimination, evildoing, etc. And because the world doesn’t correspond with her assumptions something must be done, usually at public expense. From what I’ve read, there’s no pause to reflect on the nature of those assumptions and whether they might be flawed.
[ Edited. ]
David
“It’s strange how many people on the left seem to regard advertisers as having almost supernatural powers, at least over other people. Their inferiors, presumably.”
It’s what I call the Whitehouse effect.
Mary Whitehouse effect: Complaint that a social phenomena has complete control over those individuals less enlightened than the complainer.
Mary Whitehouse effect
Heh.
The smaller the problem, the bigger the outrage.
I’m sure women in the Phillipines are raging about Vagisil right now.
Then of course, there is Bag Balm…
…Middle Ages religious zealots, with their ability to detect heresy in almost homeopathic quantities.
The ability to detect evil where others cannot is a sign of great personal virtue. Only a pure-blood princess can detect a pea under ALL THOSE MATTRESSES!
Small wonder that so many are eager to join the ranks of The Exquisitely Sensitive.
But doesn’t the Princess and the Pea portray womyn to be so very weak, vulnerable, and used to luxury that such a one could feel a tiny bit of discomfort through 20 layers of mattresses and have the nerve to complain about it after being given shelter from a storm? Doesn’t it portray womyn as whining, ungrateful b***hes? Is it not serving the goals of the capitalist patriarchy…oh, wait a minute…never mind…
Consider the following list, and state which of them has recently released a new album, or announced an upcoming concert tour.
The Academy of St Martin in the Fields
The Rolling Stones
Mott The Hoople
Zesty Scrotal Freshness Wipes
Pink Floyd
Vanguard of the Proletariat
Vagisil
The Canadian Brass
Mark Russell(1)
Mary Whitehouse Effect
Bag Balm
Teletubbies
(1) For a free answer to the question, see http://www.markrussell.net/ for: “Shortly a schedule of public shows will be listed. Also a list of PBS Stations that we know will be carrying a 30-year retrospective of my work, entitled “Mark Russell’s America” during October and/or November. As they say, you should check your local listings or call your local station for the date and time.”
What do you want to bet Caroline Criado-Perez is as hairy as a gorilla and smells the same? In your face, male chauvinist pig!
If you’ve ever gone the munch on a manky minge, you’ll see why these products are absolutely necessary.
“If you’ve ever gone the munch on a manky minge, you’ll see why these products are absolutely necessary.”
Why are they necessary? What’s wrong with a good wash before sex?
Following on from the evils of certain products comes this, ‘Rebecca Adlington’s body image anxiety mirrors that of most women’, from someone called Daisy Buchanan in today’s Guardian. Buchanan finds herself disturbed by the fact that double gold medal winner, British Olympic swimmer Rebecca Adlington, chose not to wear a bikini upon finding herself in the presence of a former Miss Great Britain winner during a reality TV programme … her words, my questions
Women aren’t socialised in a way that helps us to celebrate our strengths and achievements, but we’ll happily do ourselves down, …
By what mysterious power are women being socialised against their will?
… especially when we’re trying to make friends. We are not encouraged to be confident in our own appearance either.
Who should be encouraging you? Why don’t you do it for yourself?
Beauty and health products are sold to us as ways to fix flaws: even the best adjusted among us will watch a few too many adverts and start wondering whether we do need to cover those greys, order a course of weight-reducing ready meals, or mask the natural odour of our genitals.
Why not stop trying to see reality reflected in ‘Reality TV’ and turn the TV off when it’s the commercial break? Who’s making you watch these adverts? It’s not me
Yet there’s a strange double standard when it comes to being natural. Viewers of this summer’s Celebrity Big Brother were quick to criticise Courtney Stodden for her unnatural breast implants, but they were horrified when Geordie Shore star Charlotte Crosby wet the bed. … The celebrated idea of naturalness is purely aesthetic; women are ripped apart when they dare to age, urinate or menstruate
Seriously, why don’t you stop watching these stupid, Godawful trashy TV programmes, if they upset you so much?
As we have been trained to constantly analyse our own appearances, …
Trained? By whom exactly? If this ‘training’ was at school, how many years has it been since you entered adulthood?
we’ve been taught to do it to other women too.
Taught? Taught by whom exactly? And now that you are an adult, I assume you are, why are you not able to take control of your own life now? Or at least, even make an attempt to do so?
It’s as if we can’t be expected to relate to [other women] without hearing or seeing a body criticism … The prevalence of makeover shows is testament to this … The most insidiously evil programme on the schedule – Snog, Marry, Avoid – claims to encourage young women to realise that they don’t need implants and hair extensions “for confidence” … and claims the transformation has been successful if it means that more men are attracted to them post-makeover.
What makes you think that ‘Snog, Marry, Avoid’ a trashy programme aimed at 15-25 year olds with only around a million viewers if that, is a barometer for culture? Do you not own a remote control?
… it’s time to put the brakes on. Let’s hear from more inspiring women who want to talk about what their bodies do, and not just how they look.
Change, like charity, begins at home – Why didn’t you write a profile of Adlington’s achievements rather than write another article making a plea for people to do more of something you yourself are demonstrably not doing?
The full thing is here: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/20/rebecca-adlington-im-a-celebrity-body-image-women-willerton
Nik,
Taught? Taught by whom exactly? And now that you are an adult, I assume you are, why are you not able to take control of your own life now?
Quite. It’s an odd and consistent feature of this subset of leftism. Its advocates affect an air of radicalism and intelligence while insisting they and their peers are devoid of autonomy, along with the rest of us. As if they were somehow trapped in the life of an insecure teenage girl. The premise is almost always that “we” are helpless to override (or simply disregard) whatever social fashion they see as negative (or conjure into being, at least in their own minds). From celebrity tattle magazines to vajazzling.
And so these warrior womenfolk seem to imagine their peers embedded in social trends like flies in amber, inert and helpless. Hypnotised by make-up adverts and trashy TV. The argument they advance is usually that social fad or expectation X must be changed into some other social fad or expectation, one they find more ideologically congenial. It’s as if they can’t conceive that a person might view some social fashions as absurd or irrelevant and, as a result of that determination, simply ignore them.
[ Edited. ]
As if they were somehow trapped in the life of an insecure teenage girl … these warrior womenfolk imagine their peers embedded in social trends like flies in amber, inert and helpless
There’s certainly an element of immaturity there. In fact, I am intrigued by the repeated use of the passive voice and the pervasive tone of helpless despair throughout the article – it seems to call to mind a maiden in a white dress strapped firmly to a set of train tracks by a moustachioed villain, waiting to be rescued by a lusty youth. I’m not all that familiar with Freud, but these kind of articles do seem to strongly suggest that writers like Criado-Perez and Buchanan have a powerful, subconscious desire for some kind of Daddy figure to come along and make all that horrible nastiness just … go away with one mighty sweep of his burly arms.
The subconscious nature of such a desire might just be able to explain why those women seem completely oblivious to the fact that should their ideas ever actually be carried through to their logical conclusions, enacting them would result in a totalitarian, fascist police state of the kind that would bring a tear of pride to Judge Dredd’s eye.
It also occurred to me after posting up Buchanan’s piece just how alarmingly similar great swathes of The Guardian‘s content resembles Heat, Grazia and Closer on a bad day; but it’s even more alarming how these kinds of articles (by Criado-Perez and Buchanan) are actually accepted as being ‘political’ or ‘feminist’ statements thanks to the well-past-it’s-sell-by-date mantra of ‘The personal is political.’
Proof of the enduring and inexplicable popularity of that phrase (if any such proof were needed) is below:
A Girl’s Guide to Taking over the World: http://www.agirlsguidetotakingovertheworld.co.uk
AGGtTotW are the group who have produced that Gillian Wearing-like ‘Why I need Feminism …’ series of photos, many of which involve very small children ‘independently making’ political statements of their own, such as this poor young chap who looks like he’s being photographed for the Khmer Rouge: http://agirlsguidetotakingovertheworld.tumblr.com/image/58417227341
The Sexism Everyday project (which appears to have come to a halt in July this year I have just now noticed): http://everydaysexism.com
such as this poor young chap who looks like he’s being photographed for the Khmer Rouge
It’s odd just how readily feminist liberation takes the form of righteous dependency. Free this, cheap that, subsidised other. In effect, a shopping list. With a vast state bureaucracy always on call to pick up the tab. By screwing someone else. As Mark Steyn noted recently,
I don’t think we can afford the world these people say they want.
Free this, cheap that, subsidised other. In effect, a shopping list.
This did actually make me laugh just now.
I saw Tony Benn give a lecture in Cambridge once in which he gave his reasons for becoming a committed socialist during the war. He said that he had realised that if a government could find the funds to provide full employment, clothing, housing, healthcare etc. for tens of millions of people in times of war, why couldn’t it do the same during peace-time? Since then, I’ve seen him make exactly the same comment on TV and also in Michael Moore’s film, ‘Sicko’.
At no point have I ever seen anyone attempt to answer his question, one that I would have thought would be painfully obvious – If a peace-time government tried to spend money on the same scale as it does during war time, it would be crushed beyond any hope of recovery under an inconceivably massive mountain of debt.
War and defence are and always have been a phenomenally expensive business, even without shots being fired. A wartime economy is not a prudent model of spending.
Likewise, in previous articles she’s assumed that a 1:1 gender ratio is the natural default in all spheres of life, including rugby and football reporting, and that any deviation from this assumed ideal is in itself proof of oppression, discrimination, evildoing, etc.
I rather think she approves of any M/F ratio less than 1:1, except of course imprisonments.
In the U.S. over 50% of college students are women, and women receive over 50% of post-graduate degrees. That’s probably also true in Britain. I doubt if Ms. Criado-Perez has ever complained about this.