Progressive Manners
While scanning the New York Times, Ben Sixsmith notes the odd parental priorities of author and journalist Jancee Dunn:
The article in question, titled My Marriage Has A Third Wheel: Our Child – and which helpfully includes a photo of the couple’s apparently problematic nine-year-old – can be found here. In it, we learn that the author “would never have dreamed of sharing anything remotely personal with my parents,” but “wanted a different kind of relationship with our daughter.” And hence happily directing a media spotlight onto said youngster while waiting for applause.
Jancee Dunn is the author of How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids, her account of an attempt to “salvage” a “faltering marriage.”
And yes, the family does live in Brooklyn. And no, they don’t share a surname. And yes, the adults have availed themselves of professional counselling services.
Also, open thread.
In the photos in both articles the husband looks like he’s crying inside.
In the photos in both articles the husband looks like he’s crying inside.
I wondered how long it would take one of you to pick up on that.
[ Slides drinks voucher along bar. ]
[ Slides drinks voucher along bar. ]
After lunch. 😉
Actually, the entire article is a mixture of complaint – that’s obvious – and humblebrag: ‘Look what an amazingly mature, responsible and wonderful daughter I’ve managed to bring up.’ Either way, it’s all about her.
Either way, it’s all about her.
It does invite a suspicion that Mommy thinks she deserves raw material, and attention, more than she thinks her family should be functional – and not, say, humiliated or neurotic.
Still, could be worse.
When do we get to hear what dad thinks?
*crickets*
In other news, I believe the expression is shots fired.
So I decided to try and salvage our faltering marriage by using every resource I could think of: for over a year, I plunged into research, consulted countless experts, divvied up chores with the help of time management experts and brought (well, dragged) my husband to couples therapy. The result was an upward spiral: when Tom began to help me out, I was happier, which in turn made him happier.
Boy, that Patriarchy sure does work in mysterious ways.
I rarely sympathise with these types, but at least she’s stayed with hubby for nine years and counting of their child’s life. It could be worse.
It is surprising that she has not realised the solution to her only child problems is really very straightforward….
Also, no wonder she rescued her faltering marriage – she is punching well above her weight with that chap.
Either way, it’s all about her.
Regarding the second article, you do have to wonder whether publicly shaming your own husband, by name, at length and in print, with a photo, in a national newspaper, is the ideal way to “salvage” a “faltering marriage.” And doing all this while saying, apparently unironically, “I couldn’t bring myself to confide in friends or family.” And then boasting, “We now work out issues like grown-ups.” Grown-ups who write national newspaper articles to complain about each other, presumably.
…we consider a movie. Sylvie proposes “Escape From New York,”…
TBF, if the kid is thinking that might provide an exit strategy for her from her idiot parents, she is a bright kid.
As family psychologists such as Dr. Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph.D., point out, only children often feel like one of the adults.
Well, if a Dr. PhD says it, it must be true, on the other hand, “I never met a sprog who didn’t understand a slap in the face or a slug from a .45”, to paraphrase*. In all seriousness, if you don’t lay down the law early, establish rules and discipline, what the hell do you think is going to happen ?
Tom and I have fully enabled Sylvie to feel like one of the gang, because we go almost everywhere as a trio. We’re usually too cheap to hire babysitters,…As a result, Sylvie has gotten used to being included…
There you have it, you are rubbish parents; the offense rests.
*(“Play it again Sam” Bogart character…)
In other other news, I’ll just leave this here, I think.
Regarding the second article, you do have to wonder whether publicly shaming your own husband, by name, at length and in print, with a photo, in a national newspaper
One of the frustrating things about enjoying cooking is that Facebook recipe groups are about 1% recipes and 99% overprivileged middle-aged housewives publicly shaming their husbands. This isn’t a terribly rare phenomenon nor one restricted to the kinds of women who become journalists.
Meanwhile, in The Great White North, racism rears its ugly head.
As she has done before, last month, Lido Pimienta, a Colombian-Canadian singer, asked audience members of color to move to the front and white members to move to the back. Unlike other times she has made that request, some white members refused to act in accordance with her request, including a white female volunteer who was reportedly there to photograph the show.
It’s OK when we do it…the racism, however, is not, of course, that the lovely singer nobody has ever heard of told the wypipo to move to the back of the bus (regardless of whether they paid to sit up front), but that a yte photographer refused.
In your daily two-for-one bargain, you also get free patriarchy as a cause of this blatant racism as the fetching Miss Pimento adds.
That damn “civilization”, “Boy, that Patriarchy sure does work in mysterious ways.”
In other other news, I’ll just leave this here, I think.
Well, of course…
Self awareness is not something progressives possess in spades, is it.
Why anyone in the UK, with all the fine beers to be had, would drink Budweiser (not to be confused with the Czech Budweiser Budvar) remains a mystery, but this ad campaign is a total mystery.
but this ad campaign is a total mystery.
Previously, and less dramatically, known as people with very low libidos. Or possibly, chronic masturbators.
#AWALT #YesAllWomen It is amusing how people still write songs, movie scripts, etc., with women still being held up as some kind of prize. Women are more like pitbulls these days; if they are not chained up and muzzled, don’t approach.
Sarah-Jane Parkinson
Emma Sulkowicz
Patricia Crosby-White
Karla Holmolka
Seems like all women want these days, is to destroy lives. Husbands, children, infanticide, by any means necessary.
By the way, has anyone here been watching the HBO/Sky mini-series Chernobyl…? I’ve been told it’s rather good, albeit, understandably, somewhat grim.
Self awareness is not something progressives possess in spades, is it.
Spades? Hell, a deuce of clubs would trump the CTRL-Left’s self-awareness card.
Seems like all women want these days, is to destroy lives. Husbands, children, infanticide, by any means necessary.
I occasionally do volunteer work mentoring youth and a kid I briefly was working with, via DCF, had been put in a foster home, fortunately a foster home of family friends, because his mother and father were going through a bitter separation. This kid was 15 years old. Speaking with the foster mother, who knew both parents, she implied that the mother was making trouble for the husband through the kid. Fortunately things got resolved after only a couple of weeks of my working with him and he was able to see his father again. It was heart breaking to see this kid put up a brave face but seriously missing contact with his father. Once the court case was worked out and he was able to see his dad again, he was so happy. Granted #NotAllWomen but the more I see stuff like this, the more it scares the hell out of me how close that nutcase Hillary, with all her issues, got to being given leadership of the most powerful economic and military power in history.
ell, a deuce of clubs would trump the CTRL-Left’s self-awareness card.
Yes but not a deuce of spades, that would be racist.
Speaking of which, the young miss you would least want to have dinner with and was beaten like a red headed rented mule in her bid for congress, seems not to have heard of Memorial Day.
Her whole twit feed is a study in psychopathology (check it out) but the replies to this one are a hoot
Her whole twit feed is a study in psychopathology
As we’ve seen, Ms Rao is not well, and most likely never will be. Some kinds of damage you just can’t undo. Assuming anyone were inclined to get close enough to attempt it.
…but the replies to this one are a hoot
Ha ha ha. How can anyone not love Hurricane Man?
And yes, the family does live in Brooklyn. And no, they don’t share a surname. And yes, the adults have availed themselves of professional counselling services.
Lol. Three for three.
Three for three.
I don’t have strong feelings about the surnames thing, but it occurs to me that not taking your husband’s surname, ostensibly as some Great Feminist Statement – while retaining what is presumably your father’s surname and therefore scarcely less patriarchal or whatever – creates complications. For instance, having different surnames can confuse people as to whether you’re married or not, and if so, to whom; and any children with hyphenated surnames will then face the issue of what to do when they get married, especially if it’s to someone whose own name is also modishly hyphenated. Do they ditch some of the accumulated names – and if so, which ones – or do they go for multiply hyphenated surnames, which would seem a bit much?
[ Added: ]
So, if Derek Williams and Sarah Anderson get married but retain their own surnames, and their children’s surnames are hyphenated as Anderson-Williams, what happens when little Annie Anderson-Williams grows up and wants to marry James Houghton-Clompington? Do we get a brood of Anderson-Williams-Houghton-Clompingtons?
I’m exaggerating for comic effect, of course. But only slightly.
And yes, the adults have availed themselves of professional counselling services.
And it went something like this:
“Do you feel dominated by your wife?”
“No he doesn’t!”
…shots fired.
Just tell Sadie these things are a part of urban life one has to expect, and that it is a racist act to complain about it, or even mention it at all.
Some kinds of damage you just can’t undo.
Some people are poisoned right down to the bone. The greater danger is that they always desire others to be poisoned, too.
I like the orange dress.
the surnames thing
I’ve read that it’s supposed to be a sign of loyalty. Paternity being the least obvious biological relationship (men don’t get pregnant after all), the wife taking her husband’s surname is signalling her transfer of loyalty from her father’s household to her husband’s. One of many indicators of fealty which serve to ensure that the husband is the biological father of the wife’s children, or at least has good reason to believe his is.
When I was growing up, I would never have dreamed of sharing anything remotely personal with my parents … I wanted a different kind of relationship with our daughter.
This feels very 1970’s in its thought process and in what it’s presenting as innovative or quirky. Not entirely the 1970’s I grew up in, or that she grew up in, but the 1970’s of progressive New Yorkers as depicted in films and TV shows of that time. I can imagine Diane Keaton and Alan Alda cast as the parents who share the confidences of their marriage therapy at dinner parties, because there shouldn’t be any boundaries between a married couple and their friends; and Tatum O’Neal or Jodie Foster as the precocious child who “notices” things, and whose knowledge of anatomical terms shocks the stork-and-baby prudes.
the 1970s of progressive New Yorkers as depicted in films and TV shows of that time. I can imagine Diane Keaton and Alan Alda cast as the parents who share the confidences of their marriage therapy at dinner parties,
Heh. That.
Ah, the City of Angels.
Re the kid reminding her parents of their anniversary:
I’ll take “Things That Didn’t Happen” for $2K, Alex.
but it occurs to me that not taking your husband’s surname, ostensibly as some Great Feminist Statement – … – creates complications.
It creates complications for the most mundane of things to. Pick up a pizza, whose name is it in? Loyalty account at retail store, whose name is it in? My wife kept her own surname because–feminism, the patriarchy, etc.–she now says if she’d known what a pain-in-the-ass it would be she wouldn’t have done it. When she signs up for things now she gives my surname.
Black Mirror Season 5 hits Netflix this Wednesday. The trailer is up. There are only three episodes.
it’s all about her.
When do we get to hear what dad thinks?
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Prov 21:9
But, you know.
Is this article a skirmish in the ongoing Battle Of The Sexes, or merely a warning shot across a dad’s bows?
anyone here been watching the HBO/Sky mini-series Chernobyl…?
Perhaps I’ve grown too cynical, but I see this as battlespace prep by lefties for the “if you want clean energy then why not nuclear?” question they will face by the few greens left in their movement that actually care about protecting the environment.
Anyone who’s looked into the subject realizes that the risks of nuclear power in reality do not at all match the narrative. For most of my life I thought of nuke plants as a bunch of Homer Simpsons one nap away from ending the world…until I read about the actual deaths associated with the worst disasters. Perhaps focusing on the nuclear aspect of the Chernobyl disaster was the Watermelons’ tactic to distract from the horrifyingly inept fruits of Soviet communism.
Perhaps focusing on the nuclear aspect of the Chernobyl disaster was the Watermelons’ tactic to distract from the horrifyingly inept fruits of Soviet communism.
I haven’t seen the series yet – given its subject matter, I suspect I’ll have to be in the right mood. But I gather that the ineptitude of the Soviet bureaucracy and its culture of dishonesty are presented as just as horrifying as the disaster itself.
To be fair, according to this writeup:
So yes, the show could very well be an accurate portrayal.
But I gather that the ineptitude of the Soviet bureaucracy and its culture of dishonesty are presented as just as horrifying as the disaster itself.
Not so much, it was Trump’s fault
LEFTIST 1: “Chernobyl is just like Trump!”
CONSERVATIVE: “No, it’s not, because the ideologies in question are polar opposites.”
LEFTIST 2: “Damned conservatives and their obsession with Trump!”
SAM: [ Continues desperate search for dimensional exit from Clown World ]
[ Continues desperate search for dimensional exit from Clown World ]
It’s here somewhere. It’s just folded up really, really small.
In other TV-related news, while I wait for season six of Bosch, due next year, I’ve been happily re-watching HBO’s Rome. Polly Walker’s Atia is particularly entertaining.
And I’ll thank you not to judge me.
And I’ll thank you not to judge me.
Too late. Fortunately the judgement is “mostly harmless”:-D.
*chortle*
“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball”, but you can’t dodge Clown Quarter “researchers”.
RTWT…
…we consider a movie. Sylvie proposes “Escape From New York,”…
That one’s always seemed to me to be a quite charming documentary . . .
I’m not a fan of dodgeball, for the reasons mentioned, that the bigger kids use the game to pick on the weaker kids, but I’m inclined to put the blame on gym teachers who sit there with their noses in a book—or, these days, a phone—instead of supervising their uncivilized little charges. Dodgeball COULD be used as a way to teach sportsmanship. “Ethan, the reason I’m taking you out of the game for the rest of this month is you deliberately broke Poindexter’s glasses. You think about whether you want to play like a gentleman next month, or keep sitting it out.”
I’ll bet no school bully ever broke THIS fellow’s glasses (and lived to tell about it):
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2017/10/near-assassination-teddy-roosevelt/