Friday Ephemera

“Lucas has been captured.”
You and your cute spider videos. You do not want to see what popped up in the recommended thumbnails for me after that. Nor, for that matter, do I. I’m just going to pretend it’s a model made out of pipecleaners and pincushions.
(But here’s the link anyway for the masochistic (or arachnophile) among us. *shudder*)
“Owl buddies.”
Yeah, right. The birds have quite clearly started breeding attack dogs. The first couple of pictures are just to lull you into a false sense of security. Keep scrolling down. That little guy with the green eyes is obviously the ringleader. We’re doomed.
“Bathroom scenes.”
Oh, come on…

One day I overheard Son of Pogonip saying sternly, “Bob! Stop blowing bubbles and come over here and eat your Betta Bites!”
Son runs a tight ship.😄

The mothership wasn’t the first thing to land there.
But the aliens were more organized.

“Bathroom scenes.”
Oh, my…!

Heh.

Cue the surf music
God knows, they need to do something, though I’m not convinced that Mr Tarantino is the way to go. I’m actually surprised the Star Trek film series is still a thing, given its hit-to-meh ratio is quite dismal.

Chapman and Cleese demonstrate the new L1A1.

It tells you quite a lot about who they are.
I would place a substantial bet that most of the people involved with the clean-up were guys so they probably feel quite justified.

Just chillin’.
https://youtu.be/bpojDpZ4m7Y

Hɐddʎ ∀nsʇɹɐlᴉɐ pɐʎ¡

Hɐddʎ ∀nsʇɹɐlᴉɐ pɐʎ¡
For a second there I thought it was Hebrew.
It’s all Greek to me.

That BBC Archive link may be the end of my productivity for today. Having just watched this little 2-minute gem on a diver defusing an unexploded mine in the West India Docks, I learned two interesting things: the meaning of the phrase nap hand, and the yawning chasm between an English diver in the 50s and an English academic in the 10s.

“I felt like my hands were just too big for this task.”
Well done.
When I was about 10 years old, my mother managed to raise a scrub jay hatchling. I think he liked us too much, because it took almost 2 years for my parents to convince him to fly away with the local flock that came by almost daily (even when they’d get him to fly outside to join them, he’d fly back into the apartment once the other birds went on their way). As one might expect, my brother and I wanted to keep him as a pet, but my father was dead set against it. The bird was quite demanding of attention, and rather noisy – and took a liking to my dad, much to my dad’s annoyance.

Racist! Sexist! RAPIST!!!
The indignant younglings seem to imagine that we’re supposed to admire the sheriff in The Man With The Golden Gun, and empathise with him. Despite him being a caricature, deliberately unappealing, and the obvious butt of the joke.

It tells you quite a lot about who they are.
Those aren’t trashed streets, that’s an Art Project.

I was in a WebEx meeting (sort of a video-enabled conference call though the computer) a few hours ago and accidentally shared my screen. Operations Manager of course immediately asked about shaved babies.

“I guess they just want books filled with blank pages and movies that are nothing more than series of landscape shots.”
Behold the future. (Since 1988, believe it or not.)
“https://pjmedia.com/trending/amazons-alexa-will-no-longer-tolerate-sexist-abuse/”

This is not a societal problem, because, again, Alexa isn’t a woman. She’s a cylindrical computer that sits on a table and misunderstands you.

It. It is.

In today’s episode of Dubious Science, your sammiches are causing global warming climate change…

The study also explored how the information on the carbon footprint could be combined with nutritional data to assist consumers in making more informed food choices…The average impact from the home-made option is around two times lower than the impact from the ready-made equivalent with the same ingredients…The greatest improvement opportunities lie in reducing post-consumer waste; however, these are most difficult to realise as they involve changing consumer behaviour.

…and there you have it, sammiches are wrongfood, and eating them wrongthought.

My wife found me in the kitchen with a handgun. She asked me “why?” I said, “stealth killer robots.” She laughed, I laughed, Alexa laughed. So I shot Alexa. It was a good day.
Tee-hee. That ought to bunch some panties.

we have achieved Peak California:
SHUSH… you’ll only encourage them.

::cough:: Fair-trade.
(>_<) (Dammit, messed up my carefully-thought-out-but-not-as-funny-as-it-seemed joke.)

They’re not even standards. They’re weapons.
Well, they’re certainly not principles, which, pretty much by definition, would have to be reciprocal, and therefore inconvenient. But among the self-styled woke, apparently what matters is playing Gotcha!, even if this means behaving in a way that’s stilted and neurotic, and, as in the case above, being laughably and predictably inconsistent.
It’s a strange way to go through life – assuming an entitlement to scold strangers, and the world at large, for not automatically knowing the rules of a made-up in-group status game – rules that are forever changing, seemingly at random and with escalating absurdity, and which change almost daily precisely to make following them all but impossible.

Why dogs don’t rule the… Oh bugger.
The knowledge is spreading…
https://twitter.com/smallthunderdog/status/957173930288209921

Experts don’t recommend using a butcher knife to cut cheesecake. A sharp, thin-bladed slicing knife or a hollow-edged knife dipped in warm water reduces drag and makes a cleaner cut. Unscented dental floss is also recommended to get a clean cut.

http://www.tuscaloosanews.com/news/20180119/fight-over-cheesecake-portion-leads-to-arrest

Unscented dental floss is also recommended to get a clean cut.

“Banks said he was asked for his opinion on whether the piece of cake was big enough for a grown (expletive) man,” the paper reported. “He said he thought it was.” According to court records, the older brother, 24, was still holding the butcher knife he used to cut the dessert when they began arguing about the portion size. The victim told police his brother punched him in the face and busted his lip.

I think we need a picture of the portion size to determine whether violence and knife-wielding was justified.