Excruciatingly Woke
In today’s competitive grievance culture, unearthing new sorrows, or reheating old sorrows, can require prodigious, indeed bewildering, feats of contortion. And so, in the pages of The Atlantic, we find one Alice Ristroph railing at the heavens. First, a little context:
On August 21, 2017, a total solar eclipse will arrive mid-morning on the coast of Oregon. The moon’s shadow will be about 70 miles wide, and it will race across the country faster than the speed of sound, exiting the eastern seaboard shortly before 3pm local time.
Clouds permitting, it should be quite a thing to witness.
It has been dubbed the Great American Eclipse, and along most of its path, there live almost no black people.
There we go. If that one caught you off guard, here’s another:
As the eclipse approaches, the temperature will fall and birds will roost, and then, suddenly, the lights will go out. For each place within the path of totality, the darkness will last a minute, maybe two, and then daylight will return. Oregon, where this begins, is almost entirely white. The 10 percent or so of state residents who do not identify as white are predominantly Latino, American Indian, Alaskan, or Asian.
This goes on for some time. It’s an attempt at symbolism, I think. A beverage may be useful.
It is a matter of population density, and more specifically geographic variations in population density by race, for which the sun and the moon cannot be held responsible. Still, an eclipse chaser is always tempted to believe that the skies are relaying a message.
The message, it seems, is that people – specifically, black ones – aren’t arranged geographically as Professor Ristroph would wish.
From Oregon, the eclipse will travel through Idaho and Wyoming… Percentage-wise, Idaho and Wyoming are even whiter than Oregon… The few non-white residents of Idaho and Wyoming are not black — they are mostly Latino, American Indian, and Alaskan.
Perhaps this demographic bean-counting is all building to some kind of point, a moment of profundity.
From Kansas, the eclipse goes to Missouri, still mostly bypassing black people.
Surely a contender for The Most Woke Sentence Yet Uttered.
Moving east, the eclipse will pass part of St. Louis, whose overall population is nearly half black. But the black residents are concentrated in the northern half of the metropolitan area, and the total eclipse crosses only the southern half.
If you laughed at that, tittered even, you’re a terrible, terrible person.
Eight miles north of the path of totality is Ferguson, where Officer Darren Wilson shot Michael Brown three summers ago.
And inevitably,
After Greenville and Columbia, the eclipse goes out where so many slaves once came in: Charleston was the busiest port for the slave trade, receiving about 40 percent of all the African slaves brought into the country.
Ah, this must be it. Stand ready with the righteous seething.
In Kentucky, Tennessee, and eventually South Carolina, the eclipse will finally pass over black Americans. Even here, though, the path of totality seems to mark the legacy of slavery and the persistence of segregation more than any form of inclusion.
And so we’re told, repeatedly and at length, that for much of its journey, the Moon’s shadow “travels over white people only,” and that the eclipse will “narrowly miss Tryon, the birthplace of Nina Simone.” The point of all this is, even now, somewhat unobvious, not least given the large numbers of people planning to travel across the country to experience the alignment. Beyond, that is, the fact that some people aren’t choosing to live where Professor Ristroph thinks they ought to, and who thinks this while listing historical wrongs and attempting to solicit some pretentious collective guilt for the acts of strangers long dead, thereby signalling the author’s own, all-important moral elevation, and implicitly, her social status:
America is a nation with debts that no honest man can pay. It is too much to ask that these debts simply be forgiven.
Yes, guilty, forever.
Though it occurs to me that trying to propagate pretentious, collective guilt – an act of psychological malice – and thereby exalting oneself as tearfully compassionate and high-minded, at least among fellow pretenders, isn’t a particularly noble activity either. And when there’s an opportunity to experience a bit of cosmic perspective, a moment of possible awe, what you really want is some contrived racial grievance-mongering to sour that moment and bring you down to Earth.
Professor Ristroph is of course an educator, a graduate of Harvard.
Via dicentra. [ Edited for clarity. ]
Meanwhile, on some alternate forum, I’ll write:
For the two minutes of totality while all the white people, especially the ones in law enforcement, are looking up at the eclipse, black people will be stealing anything that isn’t nailed down. Here are tips that you can use to protect your property from the usual suspects.
Absolutely horrible, lunar eclipse nonsense aside. Random thoughts put on paper. Terrible writing. I am deeply disturbed that this is the product of a Harvard education.
David, you must have a special talent for finding this kind of crap.
Instalanche!
Instalanche!
We need more coasters, stat.
George, I think your joke is a little unfair to black people. They can’t help it that SJWs use them as a weapon.
No eclipse for you!
Is Alice Ristroph a pen name for Neil Tyson Degrasse?
Sweet effing hell. More oppression by white devils. Alright, let’s find some Galileo Galilei, Johannes Kepler, and Sir Isaac Newton statues. This shall not stand.
Is this fodder for another 500 comment debauch, or are we going to cool it for awhile, and not talk about the Bunched Panties Club?
Must. Racialize. Everything.
The People’s Cube for the win.
Hundreds of years ago, seeing a total eclipse was a cause for terror and panic.
In the 21st century, not having a total eclipse pass over your neighborhood is proof that white people hate black people.
I can only imagine how people will interpret a total eclipse in the 26th century.
Must. Racialize. Everything.
Next week: a tenuous, arbitrary and laboured connection between race and the field strength of magnetars.
And remember, people – never look directly at the wokeness. It’s gloriousness can blind.
A little while ago, I read the story about USC’s horse named Traveler. Evidently, because Robert E. Lee had a horse named Traveller, it’s no longer acceptable to have a horse with that name. Basically, the horse is racist. Who knew?
I thought that was peak stupidity, but alas, I was wrong. Now the coming eclipse is racist.
Once again, I think this is peak stupidity, but I will not doubt find out shortly that I am wrong.
…USC’s horse named Traveler…
Well, it is a white horse, but as it is USC (California USC, not U of South Carolina), it is also a Trojan horse, so obviously it is hiding rayciss white supremacy.
Is everyone certain that this wasn’t a parody?
It sure looks like one to me.
Daniel, these days it’s hard to tell! I’m still not sure whether Everyday Feminism is run by a Swiftian genius or a lunatic.
I wonder if it’s still OK to name your pet rabbits Hazel and Bigwig?
I thought that was peak stupidity, but alas, I was wrong.
I thought that was possibly reached last week when it was decreed that people called ‘Lynch’ must never have buildings named after them.
Schools and departments of education contain the dumbest people on every campus. Real scholars study substantive subjects.
The next total eclipse will happen April 8, 2024. It’s not to late to start a petition to make the eclipse start over South Central L.A., skip the white wastelands, then reappear over St. Louis, pass over Memphis, bop up to Chicago’s south side, glide over Gary, shimmy to Detroit, then make a grand tour over Cleveland, Atlanta, Washington, Baltimore, Newark and Harlem.
The people demand it!
Hundreds of years ago, seeing a total eclipse was a cause for terror and panic.
Trust me, in the 21st century it still is. See my post on Friday Eph. Additionally note that this second US eclipse in 7 years will cross the path of Monday’s one somewhere in southern Illinois. FWIU, 7 being a biblical type of number, there are predictions on apocalyptic proportions being anticipated.
No worries; there is another eclipse coming, on April 8, 2024. The path of totality will start in the Pacific south of Baja, cross Mexico into Texas, then through Pennsylvania and into Canada. The time of totality will be greater, too; about 6 minutes.
Eclipses are never “omens” or “messages”; they are precisely and mathematically certain. I’ll believe that an eclipse is a sign from God when it does NOT happen within a few seconds of the time calculated.
they are precisely and mathematically certain.
Ok, I am definitely picking a nit here but something I found interesting when after finding some conflicting numbers on the totality in my location, I poked around on the web and learned that the precision, while good, is not what 21st centuray folk might expect. There is a significant amount of unpredictable wobble by the parties involved such that exact times for exact locations are really just fairly good estimates. Of course, seek and ye shall find. But perhaps NickM can tell me if my source was full of beans on this.
There is a significant amount of unpredictable wobble by the parties involved. . .
That depends on when the margarita consumption on the front porch begins relative to totality.
I always knew the moon had a dark side. I did not know it was racist, though.
The professor implies that the sun and moon favor WHITE people, what a racist he must be. String him up.
“… will race across the country faster than the speed of sound.”
So you won’t be able to hear it coming; pity the deaf.
Cheers
It was all a trick! They freed the slaves in 1865 but they didn’t give blacks the equal right to see the 2017 eclipse, so it was all for naught!
Either that or the cosmos is racist. What time does the next spaceship for the centre of the universe depart, so we can put all the anti-racists on it to go speak to the real Powers That Be and get this travesty sorted out?
So… America is mostly white and people don’t live spread out evenly by colour? And this took 5000 words?
I wonder if it’s still OK to name your pet rabbits Hazel and Bigwig?
I have no idea. But will someone keep this man away from Dambusters re-runs.
Yes, guilty, forever.
Lefties love guilt porn.
Lefties love guilt porn.
Tonally, and in terms of incongruity, it’s not unlike turning up to a wedding party and banging on about factory farming.
Oh NOW I get it.
Her knickers are in a twist because it’s been dubbed “The Great American Eclipse,” and to a grievance professional “The Great American Anything” is instant cause to roll out the rage and victimhood.
Don’t you dare enjoy anything without acknowledging your white guilt first, America.
Triggered: the standard default position.
Short version:
“There are two Americas: people who can watch the eclipse while white, and everybody else. Don’t you see the injustice?”
Don’t you dare enjoy anything without acknowledging your white guilt first, America.
Yes, pretty much.
To be clear, and contrary to some comments upthread, the professor isn’t saying that the eclipse is racist, but rather that it reveals how “segregated,” and therefore presumably racist, we are. We meaning white devils in America. The ones who should feel guilty forever, regardless of any individual behaviour, and even when the heavens align in a fairly spectacular fashion.
I’ve just watched This documentary, and it would seem that Ms.Ristroph’s fear of the moon is well founded.
The eclipse, like Trump, divides the nation and excludes People of Color. 12 words. Save the Planet. Write less:Say more.
There is a significant amount of unpredictable wobble by the parties involved.
Has ‘Unpredictable Wobble’ been claimed as a band name yet?
the legacy of slavery
Whenever I see the phrase “the legacy of slavery” there’s usually bullshit coming.
Whenever I see the phrase “the legacy of slavery” there’s usually bullshit coming.
It is very often a signal, analogous to name-dropping, and is used to excuse all manner of behaviour.
Jubilee years, commanded by God in the Bible, were a big part of anti-slavery thought before the Civil War.
In Jubilee years, land was to go back to the original tribal and family distributions, slaves were to be freed, and all debts were to be forgiven. The idea was to start fresh. Later prophets built on this idea by pointing out that sins and offenses were also debts that must also be forgiven. We see this line of thought culminate in the Lord’s Prayer.
Ex-slaves clearly identified the Emancipation Proclamation as a sort of Jubilee, American style. Forgiveness was what helped them move on. Professor Ristroph dishonors this.
Well, why stop with America with the slavery BS? If we go far enough back into history,we can more than likely find an ancestor in any race/clan/tribe that practiced slavery. The whole premise of being owed for something their ancestors also practiced is totally ignorant. If memory serves me right the Jewish were slaves in Egypt for 400 hundred years and we don’t hear them whining about it and old King George made slaves of the Irish for many years also and we don’t hear them whining to England (soon to be Britanistan) about it, although once the muslims have complete control, they will be again…the same as the rest of Europe…the same as when the hordes ruled in Europe. They will have come full circle.
The Irish don’t whine about England? Where do you live?
I thought that was peak stupidity, but alas, I was wrong.
Let that be a lesson: never declare “Peak” anything. Peak Oil wasn’t. Peak Trump wasn’t. Peak Stupidity never will be.
I thought that was possibly reached last week when it was decreed that people called ‘Lynch’ must never have buildings named after them.
At least this means that Barack Obama’s second attorney general is less likely to receive public honors.
Alice has obviously never been to Columbia, SC, LOL
Though it occurs to me that trying to propagate pretentious, collective guilt – an act of psychological malice – and thereby exalting oneself as tearfully compassionate and high-minded, at least among fellow pretenders, isn’t a particularly noble activity either.
That.
Monty,
Well, since Newton’s Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica was declared a “rape manual” some years ago, yeah, it has to go.
If anyone has trouble with comments not appearing, email me and I’ll make an offering to the spam filter.
An offering? Human sacrifice, perhaps?
(Is that what happens to the more annoying and persistent trolls? I have often wondered.)
The Barbary Pirates and the Ottoman Empire in particular come to mind.
An offering? Human sacrifice, perhaps?
Puppies. Always puppies.
Is that what happens to the more annoying and persistent trolls? I have often wondered.
Actually, I’m surprised by how few we get here. Maybe this place is too out-of-the-way to attract them. In a decade of doing this, I’ve blocked only a handful of trolls, along with a racist loon who assumed that deploying BLOCK CAPS and lots of exclamation points made his tirades more credible.