A Performance Art Sampler
In which the students of Ms Sandrine Schaefer, a winner of the Boston Institute of Contemporary Art’s Foster Prize, stagger beneath the knee-buckling weight of their own immense talents. From Ms Phoebe Warner, an aspiring educator of children, and her exercise in gratuitous, somewhat masochistic thigh abuse, to the cryptically-named Fatty Spice, a Twitter poet and graduate of the Montserrat College of Art, who “makes shrines to her failed relationships” and dazzles us today with a pink ensemble and a gripping exercise in drooling, doomed horticulture and radical fatness. All captured for posterity at the Zeitgeist Gallery and Studios, Beverly, Massachusetts, May 2014:
Readers will of course recall Ms Schaefer’s own, even more staggering contributions to the culture. A body of work perhaps best summarised by this video of the artist gnawing at a lettuce while slouching in her underpants.
a gripping exercise in drooling, doomed horticulture and radical fatness.
Her family must be proud.
Sshh. Art is happening.
Show some respect, you heathens.
Sshh. Art is happening.
I’d love to know what goes through the minds of people like this when they watch YouTube or LiveLeak.
There’s not a single performance piece in that video that hasn’t been done with more sincerity, with greater visceral intensity, and certainly with more wide-ranging social and political impact (whether for ill or good) than any of the crap those students have ‘done’ (I have to use scare quotes around ‘done’ as it might otherwise imply that what is seen on the video constitutes something approximating work requiring effort and/or talent).
The video of the women laying on the floor fully clothed with a sheet on a different part of the floor and over her head (Tori Cossette “Languor”) was thought provoking: Who knew that art could consist of taking a nap in a public space? Is she appropriating homeless culture? Is everyone who falls asleep on the train an artist? Is she getting paid to take a nap?
I’d love to know what goes through the minds of people like this when they watch YouTube or LiveLeak.
Well, yes, and I can’t help wondering how they think an audience, assuming they could attract one, should react. What is it they expect from anyone watching, besides bewilderment and derision?
David, apologies for veering off topic, but whenever you post a video I can only see the left-most portion of it. The image is too big for the frame.
Any ideas why?
Any ideas why?
What are you watching it on?
Bloody hell David, couldn’t you have put a warning on it? I’ll have nightmares tonight.
No refunds. Credit note only.
KMcC- If you have your browsers zoom set much above 100%, you wont see the whole frame of videos posted on this site. I usually zoom out to 100% to watch the video, switching, if necessary, to whatever site it’s being posted from.
Ms Phoebe Warner, an aspiring educator of children, and her exercise in gratuitous, somewhat masochistic thigh abuse
“I hope to continue my education with gender studies and social justice.”
You just can’t help some people.
You just can’t help some people.
She does seem determined to make very poor choices.
Sshh. Art is happening.
And just like that, I’m gay.
These are the End Times. I’m increasingly convinced of it.
Tsk. Here I am, scouring the U-bend of the internet all hours of the day, bringing you high culture…
What is it they expect from anyone watching, besides bewilderment and derision?
I approached this work with a sceptical cast of mind, but must admit to being won over by the drooling. How could anyone not be enchanted? A master stroke by the artist to appeal to the mainstream, yet without compromising her (immense) integrity.
As we are presently in the Lenten season, I’ve elected to give up viewing performance art. You may all now be amazed at my self-control and sacrifice.
The title came up and I went “ugh.” Not a good start.
P/R/E/T/E/N/T/I/O/U/S
Ms Phoebe Warner, an aspiring educator of children, and her exercise in gratuitous, somewhat masochistic thigh abuse…
The thigh abuse is not the disturbing part so much as the fact that these pretentious douchebags with access to 21st century technology make cruder primitive tattoo tools than Polynesian islanders did 200 years ago.
Deep Thoughts™ from Crazy Pants her own bad self:
I’d love to know what goes through the minds of people like this…
Probably the wind.
Er, where’s the art?
Er, where’s the art?
Good question.
The nudity. Why does there always have to be the nudity?
The nudity. Why does there always have to be the nudity?
Do try to control your passions.
I don’t want a repeat of what happened last time.
Fatty Spice, so derivative.
http://previews.123rf.com/images/wimpos/wimpos1006/wimpos100600030/7247707-pink-ballerina-hippo-with-umbrella-Stock-Vector-hippo-cartoon-dance.jpg
Is there cash to be netted in this sort of thing? Asking for a friend.
They used to put these sorts of folks in special homes, I understand. Bedlam, for one. They proved a reliable source of tourist money foe years, what with the tours and all. Something to think about.
The guy at the window dropped one of the knives!
A real artist would have pushed the blade through his (or her, or whatever) rather than drop it.
No commitment, no art!
Dammit+
In my excitement I forgot ‘palm’
David,
I believe this may be the proverbial bridge too far! Fortunately, I viewed this just prior to lunch, so am grateful for the empty stomach, perhaps a trigger warning may be provided in the future.
I guess that art has morphed from talents that awe the senses to those that revolt the senses.
Watching this video evoked childhood memories of the county fair and the ubiquitous sideshow tent. Similarly one would move from vignette to vignette to view the odd, bizarre and disgusting. Of course, the sideshow was banished by bleeding hearts years ago deeming it cruel to invite the public to view the anomalies of humanity. Perhaps, the fairs should have simply renamed the attraction the Performance Art tent, thus enabling its continuance.
Quite recently I was exposed to the oeuvre of Carolee Schneemann, for no better reason than she was the inspiration for Maud Lebowski’s artist’s ‘technique’ in ‘The Big Lebowski’, of which I’m a rabid fan.
In the ’70’s Carolee was inspired to share with her audience the performance of pulling a scroll out of her vagoo and reading from it; this was done, of course!, while Carolee was naked. Carolee nude was refreshingly aesthetically pleasing compared to the run-of-the-mill female performance artist, except for the whole scroll-out-of-the-hoohaa thing.
Obviously, you can’t top that. Certainly not by eating lettuce in your underwear.
Which explains the decades of failure as slightly silly people with too much money and time on their hands desperately try.
Obviously, you can’t top that.
I am guessing you missed David’s post covering vaginal knitting, and I’ll spare you the one about the vaginal baker.
For any straight men still able to function after viewing the video, I’ve found this image which may act as a brain cleanser – as a Public Service naturally:
Now that’s art.
@Jonathan
I see you’re trying to distract David’s hench-lesbians, so the rest of us can speak freely. You’ll be receiving a complimentary one year membership in The Patriarchy’s Inner Circle in the mail shortly.
“For any straight men still able to function after viewing the video, I’ve found this image which may act as a brain cleanser – as a Public Service naturally”
And just like that, I’m back to being bisexual again.
@R. Sherman and Captain Nemo.
You’re welcome.
Only a one year membership? Also, do they still meet behind the bicycle shed?
Oh why did I waste so much time and effort in engineering, when I could have wasted my time on these efforts instead? Oh to be fat, fugly and stupid.
I usually zoom out to 100% to watch the video, switching, if necessary, to whatever site it’s being posted from.
My monitor is two feet wide and a foot tall (YUGE?), so I keep my browser at 175%. The video can be found here. David might consider including such a link to future videos.
Oh to be fat, fugly and stupid.
I believe that constitutes an Intersectionality Trifecta.
Hi David, I have the same problem with videos (and JPGs as well) on your site. I usually use an iPad Air 2, either in the Pocket app or in Safari. I can only see the left 2/3 or so of the video; the rest is clipped by the right-hand column.
If I view the video directly in YouTube then it’s fine. I *think* that the Typepad video plugin must be operating at some sort of fixed width, instead of resizing to the size of the browser. An iPad Air 2 has a screen of 2048 x 1536, but I think that due to the pixel-doubling Retina approach it is effectively 1024 x 768.
I can reproduce this in Safari on my Mac, simply by shrinking the browser window. The right hand column with the Amazon links starts to clip the video.
Maybe you can make some sort of tweak in the Typepad settings?
Hmm – might be a limitation of TypePad, unless things have moved on since this article – http://everything.typepad.com/blog/2009/10/the-easiest-way-to-add-video-to-your-blog.html. See the comments near the bottom.
Tsk. Here I am, scouring the U-bend of the internet all hours of the day, bringing you high culture…
If that’s the case why is this drek still surfacing? Do you need a new scourer? Does it just keep regenerating?
I believe that constitutes an Intersectionality Trifecta.
Very good!
Hmm – might be a limitation of TypePad
So far as I can make out, it’s a Typepad formatting limitation, due to setting the left and right columns to constrain the width of the main text while allowing large video embeds. Until I figure out a better solution, it’s a case of formatting to suit desktops and laptops, which a majority of readers seem to use, or formatting for smaller, mobile devices. I tweaked the layout a year or two ago to accommodate several readers who had problems with overly wide paragraphs that are difficult to read. As yet, I haven’t found a happy compromise that suits all possible devices.
I’m too tired to faff with layout changes at the moment but I may poke about over the weekend.
Having had a poke about in the TypePad documentation, I think you’re right, it is a formatting limitation. Image and video sizes are hard-coded which is a bit of a pain. It’s probably not going to change either since TypePad development seems to be pretty dead. Maybe if a few of us hit the tip jar you could port to WordPress? There seems to be a relatively painless way to port – https://tp2wp.com – although it costs $49 plus a few hours of faffing!
As yet, I haven’t found a happy compromise that suits all possible devices.
I humbly submit, again, that if you include a link to the external site, the devices can take care of themselves.
if you include a link to the external site, the devices can take care of themselves.
In the text, the words “captured for posterity” link to the video.
In the text, the words “captured for posterity” link to the video.
Maybe the message should be more blatant, explicit, and up-front.
P/R/E/T/E/N/T/I/O/U/S
No matter how much you try, you cannot escape all the characters. (Coding joke)
Making the rounds in the dextrosphere, another Denial Of Parody Attack (safe link to Powerline Blog):
Maybe the message should be more blatant, explicit, and up-front.
I’ve made the link a little more prominent. Now it’s hammock time. ‘Night, all.
Farnsworth M Muldoon said…
“Probably the wind.”
There is no wind in a vacuum. Did you mean “wind up”?
“I DO SO HAVE TALENT, DAD!”
Also, do they still meet behind the bicycle shed?
We’ve repaired to more opulent digs: the basement Fellowship Hall at St. Olaf’s Lutheran (LCMS) Church, Benkleman, Nebraska. We’re scheduled right after the Ladies Quilting Auxiliary at 8:30 PM on Wednesdays, except during Lent, when we meet on Thursdays.
I had inflated the size of the text because my eyes aren’t what they used to be; reverting to 100% fixed the video image. It’s all satisfactory.
Word.
We’ve repaired to more opulent digs: the basement Fellowship Hall at St. Olaf’s Lutheran (LCMS) Church, Benkleman, Nebraska.
Luxury indeed – proof positive that the Patriarchy is unstoppable! (I’ll bring my own jar of instant coffee like you asked.)
If anyone would like to see some real art, type the name Hitomi Hosono into Google images. I saw a piece of her work at a gallery over the weekend and I was utterly captivated. The detailing must be seen to be believed.
Eye bleach, please…
Please…
“Eye bleach, please…”
I find a scouring pad to be more efficacious.
She really sits around in just a tutu, with crap on her head whilst rooting porkishly through the potted roses? As art? Really?
As art? Really?
And remember, those are presumably the highlights. The best bits.
A refresher:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHbGqJ_MonU
Cheers
We should always thank God for small favors. At least she is clothed from the waist down. That means I won’t have to soak my eyeballs in bleach.