And Now a Word from Our Sponsors

They also make KnobLock.
http://www.t-oppo.jp/knoblock.html

Though you can always add a nice jaunty hat.

The woman in the thumb advert has very bendy arms. Is it a phone-related injury?

Curiously unhappy looking ducks.
I mean dogs.

a rubber thumb extender to facilitate optimal one-handed use of larger smartphones.
But does it stop the new iPhone bending?

But does it stop the new iPhone bending?
It was remarkable how quickly that became a thing. I kept spotting YouTube videos of people trying to destroy quite expensive phones, presumably their own. Lots of grunting and creaking… sometimes followed by “Oh dear, it does bend if you really, really try.” Inevitably, people then started trying to bend phones from the Stone Age. And you can now buy 3D-printed pre-bent iPhone cases to match your misshaped phone.

Which reminds me:
A duck goes into his local chemists and asks for a tube of lip salve.
“Certainly, sir”, says the pharmacist. “How would you like to pay for that?”
“Oh, just put it on my bill please”.

“Gruaniad hits peak stupid.”
Seemed more like “Grauniad does whimsy fail” to me. The Left just can’t do humour, and I think articles like that and the continuing existence of Dave Gorman are sufficient proof.
(I know, I know- that duck joke is rubbish and not even mine, but neither am I getting paid for it).

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister follow a duck into a bar.
The bartender asks; What is this, a joke?!?!?

Sounds like the story of the plains Indian chieftain whose tribe members were a bit on the aggressive side, where unfortunately they kept being rather extremely noisy about it, instead of more properly quietly going about being The Best. Over and over and over, someone would be waving his ceremonially decorated branch about—no a different one—bragging about how important and successful he is in combat . . . which is a pain in the ass in daylight, but these guys were doing that at two, three, four in the morning.
Finally, middle of the night, Again, the chieftain comes marching out of his tipi and into the midst of the noisiest offenders, grabs this branch, that stick, embarrasses the hell out of the next guy, gets the one after him too, and finally heads back into his tipi with an double armload of trophies. There really isn’t any room on the ground in there, so instead of dumping them on the floor, he hangs ’em up overhead in the tipi, and goes back to bed.
Outside, the Great Warriors are left watching the rest of the tribe rocking back and forth—silently—laughing their heads off, with the G.W. having absolutely nothing they can say, and thus finally everything is actually quiet for a change.
In the meantime, while the chieftain had no particular intention of doing so, he wound up being noted as the first person in history to achieve silence by installing a coup stick ceiling.

Oh, no, no, no, as everyone knows, regarding the highest form of humor, there’s no such thing as a horrid pun, only the occasional feeble one . . . .

The unwieldy monstrous phone and unwieldy monstrous fake thumb combo, for when getting a less fashionable phone of the right size is unbearable.

I’m informed that the Chinese—or at least the Chinese Government—has just beaten the Japanese at surreal.
10,000 pigeons go through anal security check for suspicious objects Tue, ready to be released on National Day on Wed

Literally translated, it’s a “sexual harassment interface”.
…
That doesn’t make me worry less.