Of course my ice cubes are sculpted to order. What is this, the Dark Ages? // Days of future past. // Flight attendant relaxes passengers. // That’s not pole-dancing, this is pole-dancing. // For granny’s birthday card, some Tom of Finland stamps. // Recharge your smartphone in 30 seconds. // Children baffled by ancient technology. // Your Body During Adolescence, (1955). // Algae-eating robot. // Watching the watchmakers. // Wall dogs with strong stomachs. // One father’s Saturday mornings. // “He would sing us an entire string arrangement.” // Jet engine snowboarding. // “Over 3-4 days the brain will fill with ice.” // Moonshine. // Vittles. // Lovely, lovely snails. // And finally, well, you can’t fault his ambition

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