The Agonies of the Left Are Not To Be Laughed At

DAMN YOU, MAN CRISPS!!!!

I prefer CIS MAN crisps. That’s just me.

So if it’s not sexism that has them all a-tweeting on the Twitter, what IS so upsetting about Man Crisps?

Reminds me of The Guardian articles…
while (opinion writer for The Guardian)
{
X = Some triviality;
Denounce X as part of the heternormative, paternalistic,
militaristic, capitalistic system of oppression;
}

“For God’s sake, no-one mention the existence of these things.”
I was amused to see that they feature both compact and, um, expanded versions of the things.

I prefer CIS MAN crisps. That’s just me.
I hadn’t realised the aforementioned savoury snack item was offensive on so many levels. It’s an affront to all decency.

David,
I like me some man crisps. I was eating a packet of polar bear and powertools flavoured man crisps last night when the wife became upset.
“Do you have to eat those in bed?” she asked.
Turns out I do. I have no idea how I put up with that woman.
Anyway, apart from man crisps I also like man-sized tissues, my manly 4×4 car (with amusing rubber testicles on the tow hitch, and the music of Melissa Manchester.
I’m so manly I once got into a fist fight with a peacock at Warwick Castle. Technically the peacock won and I can never go back there or the RSPCA will prosecute, but I did get a good handful of his tail feathers before he flogged me so I count that as a moral victory for man over beast.
So it’s a good thing that crisp makers and whatnot sell products to meet manly needs, but why not also cater to feminists? I have some suggestions:
* Girl Crisps in the following flavours: passive-aggressive, trinkets ‘n’ bonbons, and topless
* Lady Laptops – like normal laptops, but with a little vanity mirror attached and preloaded with recipies and pictures of kittens
* A car that automatically touches up your makeup when stopped at red lights
* A body pillow shaped like a man for lonely feminists to cuddle up to – comes in Gerard Butler, Antonio Banderas, and a slimline Benedict Cumberbatch model for single beds
Come to think of it, the problem the feminist movement has is that it needs an ideas man like me to be in charge. We’d soon cut through all the pointless gabbing and overcome the Patriarchy.

Man Crisps? Hell, I haven’t got over Man Chest Er yet…

Unfortunately my big manly hands are too large to spell properly on this little smartphone though.

I remember getting a pop-up ad once inviting me to identify a photo of a “party girl” celebrity and “win a pink laptop!” Even sadder, Pritt Stick now comes in pink, “Just 4 Girls!” Not to mention those ridiculous fake eyelashes for your car headlights.

How privileged and entitled do you have to be to get this upset about a snack food?

A feminist is a female of some sort who cannot get a boyfriend or a husband. They are often fat and have hair on their backs. They usually work in government non-profit offices which is a mind destroying profession at best. Do I have that right? Oh wait, the ones with a BA (degree required to become a BArista) do work in the private (coffee shop) sector until they can get a government job where they will move from providing a good service in the coffee shop, to providing nothing in a government office.

Get me a beer, Toots, pronto,

I did like Ellen’s take on the Lady Pen issue.

http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3105
Meat may be murder, but vegetarianism is genocide.

Tim,
I did like Ellen’s take on the Lady Pen issue.
Heh. Yes, it’s a silly product and will presumably disappear unless lots of women feel the need for what they regard as a feminine pen. A concept that, I grant you, is perhaps a little curious. What struck me, though, was Ellen’s need to pad this small joke in lame and antiquated boilerplate, much of which – say, unequal pay – is simply inaccurate and misleading. (See, for example, Tim Worstall on this.) Her opening line is also a tad tendentious. She says, sarcastically, “I saw something that made me think we still have a little way to go [in terms of gender equality].” Taken literally, what on Earth might she mean? That for equality to be achieved to her satisfaction, silly products like gendered pens should cease to be? Who gets decide on such things if not the marketplace? Can women not make up their own minds as to how absurd or desirable a thing is?

It seems to me that you have this all wrong.
The ‘Spacebee’ character merely asked whether she had been wrong to eat ‘Man crisps’ and could easily have been joking at her own expense. It was ‘Colette’ that made the ridiculous “fucking pissed off angry” comment illustrated above so the response by Damian Counsell should have been directed at her not ‘Spacebee’.
You could accuse her of being thin skinned and over-reacting but she seems to have been right to be annoyed at being berated for someone else’s hysterical comment.
I had a quick, very quick, look at ‘Spacebee’s profile and could see nothing to suggest that she is a ranting feminist – just lots of inane trivia. The sort you’d expect from a young girl with an apparently large ego.

There are feminists who would pay a premium for a package of Man Crisps…fresh from Final Solution Ovens.

Steve,
From what I saw, the ridicule should be (and, from me, is) aimed at Colette. I’m not about to defend other people’s tweets on the subject. The link is for context and the fact these twitterfits can sometimes develop after I’ve posted an item. Though at the time I did like the juxtaposition of Spacebee’s denial of thinking the crisps sexist or offensive and the subsequent, almost immediate explosion of womanly rage by one of her followers.
a well known fence-sitter
I’m writing that one down.

“Apparently you are also a very good arse-coverer.”
Is that a euphemistic variant of “You have a superlative taste in the finer aspects of designing and producing men’s afternoon apparel”?
Cheers

Time to remind everyone of “The Ace of Spades Women’s Magazine, Written By Men”
Original thread
Summary post
I’d add a content warning, but you guys have already stomached Vaginal Knitting and other unspeakable things.

How privileged and entitled do you have to be to get this upset about a snack food?
(tasteful applause)

She really has a chip on her shoulder!

If you thought an over reaction to a packet of crisps was a bit much, see this

The full catalogue of agonies – from tennis and bacon to non-socialist poor people and the word “mum” – can be found here.
Thanks for the hour I just spent laughing at those. *hits tip jar*

Ten – Winner
Thanks! I believe the law says David now has to buy me a chicken dinner.
David – Owen Joneses mum doesn’t let him call her “mum”? That explains a lot.
Dicentra – I briefly let my wife out of her heterocage to read the women’s magazine written by men suggestions. She loved it, especially the female retorts.
I’m not sure which one she liked best though, as I wasn’t listening. I could see squirrels in our back garden, and they were merry.

wow. Just wow.
I know.
Depression itself can be quite serious, and I have every sympathy for those who sufferers and their families.
However, whether or not this was the artist’s intention (I suspect not in fact), there is a tacit idea in that one-page comic which seems to suggest that non-sufferers should police their own use of hyperbole in everyday conversation just in case they are overheard by someone who is a sufferer.
It seems to me rather divisive – in other comics in the series, virtually all non-sufferers are presented as simple-minded, shallow and insensitive.
It also seems to be not a million miles from the general strategy employed in identity politics everywhere:
You do not have the right to talk about topic X because you do not belong to group Y;
any comment made about topic X is always invalid unless made by a member of group Y;
as all members of group Y have sole ownership over topic X, all members are beyond reproach or criticism for any comments they make on it, however ludicrous

‘Better’ implies an objective standard by which things can be measured in comparison to one another, and the very concepts of standards and, indeed, of objectivity, were invented by the patriarchy as a tool of oppression.

… the very concepts of standards and, indeed, of objectivity, were invented by the patriarchy as a tool of oppression.*
Merely believing and then stating a thing to be true, as you do above, does not make it true regardless of how many times it is repeated.
Granted, there is a school of thought that is committed to using the constant repetition of certain ideas, such as that we live under patriarchal capitalist oppression, in the belief that if only it can be repeated often enough, widely enough and vehemently enough, it will come true. That strategy, which is incidentally barely indistinguishable from bullying and intimidation, is certainly neither objective nor measurable.
While it is true that the criteria by which things are measured can be developed and refined over time (and may include wrong turns, set-backs and errors), it would be a mistake to conclude from this that all measurement is necessarily arbitrary and, therefore, invalid.
If your blood pressure is 120 over 80 you should be healthy; if it’s 240 over 120 you are very likely to be meeting your maker very soon unless you can find a tool of patriarchal oppression expert medical help, and quick.
Going further back in time, had it not been possible for early societies to develop technologies for measuring the movements of the stars and predicting changes in season, I would ultimately not now be in a position to write to you using the Internet.
*At first I thought your comment was a joke and had been generated using The Postmodernism generator. It then occurred to me you may actually mean what you are saying, hence the reply above.

I think it’s sarcasm
So did I at first … but I actually really can’t tell.