Brace yourselves, people, I’m elevating the tone and it’s a steep incline. Prepare to weep with delight as your very soul is embiggened. Thanks, of course, to our old friend the “much praised” Bulgarian performance artist Mr Ivo Dimchev, whose theatrical stylings, “impressive physical idiom” and “gripping sensitivity” have thrilled us previously. Here, we turn to Mr Dimchev’s epic 75-minute collaboration with sculptor and fellow artistic titan Mr Franz West. The project, titled X-ON, features the bare-breasted gyrations of Yen Yi-Tzu, Veronika Zott, Christian Bakalov and of course Mr Dimchev, who also had a hand in the musical score and whose talents clearly extend beyond mere human measurement. The piece – of which the video below is, sadly, but a small taste – will be featured at the Vienna International Dance Festival on Sunday July 21st, and is summarised thusly:
Dressed only in high heels and sumptuously decorated panties, bald-headed and endowed with the voice of an opera singer, the queer diva Lili Handel moves about and manipulates sculptures by the famous Austrian artist Franz West. And three figures, who are tourists at first but then mutate into muse-like creatures, dance with her to the spherical and powerful music by Philipp Quehenberger. According to Ivo Dimchev – alias Lili Handel – the point is not “to find ways to accommodate West’s works to the dancers’ bodies and the stage but to find out in what way ideas of the theatre, of music and of the performative body must adapt and transform themselves to establish contact with these sculptures.”
Unlike in his previous offering, Mr Dimchev doesn’t masturbate with a wig. He does, however, extract some of his own blood before smearing it on a chair. So there’s that. Yes, I know. You’re champing at the bit, itching to become one with the cultural elite. And stocked up on liquor, I hope. So. On with the show…
Now don’t say I never do anything nice for you.
I don’t know whether to laugh or buy a ticket to Vienna and burn the venue down.
I don’t know whether to laugh or buy a ticket to Vienna and burn the venue down.
It’d be a shame to waste a good venue. Think of the positives. For instance, this piece of crap, a term I use advisedly, is looking pretty good right now.
If Art is anything that gives you an instant emotional reaction, then this is great art!
It really made me laugh (at the “performers”). I won’t ask but I guess the performers having the last laugh by pick-pocketing by-proxy?
but I guess the performers [are] having the last laugh by pick-pocketing by-proxy?
It is partly funded by the European Union’s Culture Programme, so yes.
Think of the positives.
They will let me take 16 bottles of petrol through customs, won’t they?
the “much praised” Bulgarian performance artist Mr Ivo Dimchev
*boggles*
I want names.
That’s not the kind of bare-breasted gyration I was hoping for.
Why am I reminded of “The Dude” Lebowski’s landlord?…
That’s not the kind of bare-breasted gyration I was hoping for.
No refunds. Credit note only.
These “performers” are why God made chainsaws and flamethrowers.
I can only agree with my namesake. What a let-down.
Sam Duncan,
I can only agree with my namesake. What a let-down.
It’s perhaps worth pointing out that the video above is supposed to be the trailer, an appetiser, the highlights of the piece.
The rest may not be as good.
Ray,
I want names.
Mr Dimchev’s performances have been hailed by Theatermaker magazine as “one of the five most recommended performances for the season 2011/12” and have been “nominated for a Bessie Award in New York for best performance of the year.” He was recently awarded Bulgaria’s “Iron Medal for Contemporary Art.”
* As usual, the TypePad spam filter is playing silly buggers. If anyone has trouble posting comments, email me and I’ll bash the thing with a broom handle. *
I will not click on the video. Your description was enough. BTW, is there a pee de deux?
I’m at work and people can see my monitors.
Not. Gonna. Click.
Your description was enough.
Oh, I can scarcely do it justice. Go on, take a peek. Scare the children. Or you could hold your computer up to the window and alarm random passers-by.
Any time an art dealer uses words like “conceptual” and “challenging”, you may safely assume that it’s a modernistic piece of doggy doo whose value will steadily decline right up to the day you pay someone to haul it to the dump.
How often have I listened to a piece of music and thought ‘that could be more spherical’. Now I know why…
David,
Should we assume the “performance summary” you quoted is a product of some “Random Art Bollocks” generator?
Well that’s my nightmares for the next month taken care of.
“the highlights of the piece”
So the rest of the performance is even crapper than this? I’m genuinely curious to know how that’s possible.
Time to make some animated gifs.
I thought the chairs did well.
“Random Art Bollocks” generator: http://www.artybollocks.com/#abg_full
Jason:
I was at the Tate Modern in London a month ago (excuse the name dropping). I particularly liked the empty canvases with nothing but a slash through them. I now know where they got their descriptions of the works on display.
I lasted an astonishing I min and 13 secs, that was exactly 1 min and 12.99 secs too long. Good grief, these people owe me 1 min and 13 secs of my life back. Nothing compares to that crap.
My giddy aunt is sedate.
“And stocked up on liquor, I hope.”
Ignore this caveat at your peril.
Well, that settles it: the future Mr. dicentra WILL wear heels.
one of the five most recommended performances for the season 2011/12
Dear God in Heaven, they have seasons of this stuff?
He was recently awarded Bulgaria’s “Iron Medal for Contemporary Art.”
The audience deserves the medal more.
He masturbates without a wig? I didn’t know that was possible.
I have to admit that the only thing I find more annoying than the performance itself is that it was choreographed and rehearsed. Actual thought – of a sort – went into this. This offends me as a human being.
I understand his next piece will be a literal explication of the phrase “polishing a turd.” Being a perfectionist, he won’t release it until it’s ready.