This is exactly how I do it. (h/t, Holborn) || A problem you’ll want to have: To span or to stack? (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || Universal Paperclips is a game. Think of it as a test of endurance. (Remember this?) || Tiny paper plants. || Peepers. || Plucking. || The baby panda is a creature of great elegance. || Personality test. Use code 92556379. || An interview with Adam Perkins, author of The Welfare Trait. || Camp on water. || Catch. || Abandoned orphanage. || Ambling starfish. (h/t, Matthew) || Fan mail of note. (h/t, Tim) || A little Mercury. || Streets of Amsterdam, circa 1890. || Stampede of tumbleweed. || Danish treetop walk. || Tolstoy’s cooking tips. || He sells Slinkies. || Glass ruler, $30. || The great phone-box graveyard. (h/t, Simen) || And finally, he does this better than you do.

As I was pushed for time this week, you’ll have to throw together your own pile of links and oddities in the comments. However, I’ll set the ball rolling with a demonstration of stealth, how to deal with lawn pimples, a life lesson, some marble and acrylic furniture of note, and the ball that didn’t fall. 

Oh, and if this isn’t serendipity, I don’t know what is. 

If you laugh at this, you’re a terrible, terrible person. 

Via Damian. 

Twist. (h/t, Holborn) || “Syrian paralysis cheese” and other translation errors. || Scenes from a small planet called Earth, specifically South Tyrol in the Alps. || Today’s word is precocious. Also, turn the bloody phone round. || Ambition. || Berlin, July, 1945. || Existential iPhone unboxing video. || Your self-driving Mercedes. || Morning glory. || Pretty moths. || Swatting flies is hard. || This. || That. || This too. (h/t, Franklin) || “Fuck your laws,” says she. (h/t, dicentra) || “On the third Friday of September, the small village of Binissalem shuts down to have dinner in the streets.” || Owl sneeze. || Kaleida. || Nigerian ladies’ hair, animated. (h/t, Coudal) || 1980s New York, a searchable photo-reference. || And finally, ladies with “manipulative cleavage” and other casting calls of note.

It’s a good-news-bad-news story: 

Several Hurricane Irma victims called a 1-800 number for help and were offered phone sex instead of hurricane relief assistance.

It’s very kind, I’m sure, but perhaps now isn’t the time.

The Miami Herald reported that the Federal Emergency Management Agency’s Region 4 office accidentally tweeted the number Wednesday, which offered assistance to people dealing with damaged roofs. The number was supposed to be a “1-888” number, not a “1-800” number.

Via Sam.