He wants someone to help him wash his hands. || Jetpack Samurai. You heard me. || 14,000 Apollo photos turned into gifs. (h/t, Coudal) || In local news. (h/t, Julia) || Supply and demand. || More densely populated than Manhattan. || Made using Google Earth. || He does this better than you do. || And he does this better than your kids did. (h/t, Damian) || “Writer, teacher and broadcaster.” || Stealth SUV. || For fans of the mechanical. || Kitchen knife made of foil. || Frozen lake versus red-hot jackhammer. || Joinery of note. || Book thief curses of the Middle Ages. || How the Devil got his horns. || This depiction, seen as a child, has lingered in the memory. || This is one of these. || “Mine’s real.” || And finally, if you find this footage amusing, you’re a terrible, terrible person.

Budget cuts. || Black Panther. || Bathroom essentials. || Will hospitals give back an amputated limb if you ask for it? || Embroidered bacteria. || It’s bigger than most. || 25 days in the life of a bean. || Boneshaker race, 1928. || Swinging London, 1967. || In need of friction. || San Francisco scenes. || Something on the floor. (h/t, Obo) || This is one of these. || And this is one of those. || Because you’ve always wanted a warp speed calculator. || While you pee. || Paranormal property. (h/t, Damian) || Popping balloons. || Thoughts on ladies’ fashion, New York, 1930. || Tweet of note. (h/t, dicentra) || Teatime view of note. || Macau, China. || Mussolini’s Rome. || Scrotum adventure. || An old machine from the Seventies, now far from home, stirs. || And finally, a horrifying shark attack.

Giant wearable woollen cat heads. (h/t, Darleen) || Feeding goldfinches. || Pigeon movie database. || Packaging of note. || Now there’s an empowered lady. || Snowfall in Rome. || The council at work. || A caption seems in order. || Kind of Blue and Sketches of Spain. || Today’s word is optics. || True. || “Let me check your feet.” || “I check our numbers at the end of every week.” || Don’t give them the secret of fire. || Today’s other word is metaphor. || When your offices are mistaken for something else. (h/t, Julia) || Meanwhile, in academia. || The museum of obsolete media. (h/t, Things) || She does this better than you do. || And finally, in specialist news, “For a small number of individuals, farting isn’t just a taboo by-product of human digestion—it’s the primary focus of their sex lives.”

I’m not entirely sure what’s happening here. || Chickens, roosters and eye-catching cocks. || An unexpected detail. || At last, an endoscopic camera accessory for your phone. || The big freeze of ‘63. || How to make a kitchen knife out of pasta. || Russians paint a cargo plane. (h/t, Tony) || Parenting of note. || Penguin droppings seen from space. || Today’s word is irony. || Anamorphic sneakers. || An archive of scanned Heavy Metal magazines. || Snow thread. (h/t, Julia) || Luggage of note. || How to cast a 15-ton mirror for the Giant Magellan Telescope. || I don’t think those are jellyfish. || Comment seems unnecessary. || “The universe begins in 5… 4… 3… 2…” || Oh, don’t look like that, it’s the reduced sugar brand. || And finally, an elasticated demonstration of the Doppler effect.

Yes, another chance to throw together your own pile of links and oddities in the comments. But on the upside, you’re getting quite good at it. I’ll set the ball rolling with a chap who does this better than you do; an archive of poltergeist clattering and other “occult” recordings; a “desk companion” of note; two ladies, some silver paper and a dash of Dunning-Kruger; and a heartwarming illustration of overdue consequences. 

Oh, and via Damian, this. 

This thing here. (h/t, dicentra) || I’m assuming that what we’re looking at isn’t food preparation. || A pleasing tense. || “Who would have known playing God could have such terrible consequences?” (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || Bridge Constructor Portal is a game. || Police dog entrances of note. || Liquor store parking. || Snow labyrinth. || Papa’s person is ringing; a mystery unfolds. || So many questions. || For 96 minutes. || Augmented climbing. || Making soap by hand. || “The highest standards of scholarly peer review.” || She does this better than you do. || Video title of note. || Tweeted riposte of note. || Underwater hiking trail, Brazil. || One More Brick is also a game. || This is one of these. || And finally, Dinosaur, a short film by Nathan, aged four, with a little help from his dad.

Pong for the feet. || Forbidden love. || Flushing decisions. || Meet your new neighbours. || Windows of San Francisco. || One way to do it. (h/t, Obo) || The ice is singing. || Two salaries. || For the ladies, some Russian gangster glamour. || Young Romance, 1949. (h/t, Holborn) || Every reason for Dr Banner Hulking-out in the 70s TV series. || The cost of light. || Look closely and you’ll see the light from a single excited strontium atom. || Escaping the lab while the humans sleep. || Wine glasses of note. || Equality now. || He does this better than you do. (h/t, Tim) || Decorative and slightly dangerous. || And finally, “The former Chief of Staff of Iran’s armed forces said that Western spies had used lizards which could ‘attract atomic waves’ to spy on the country’s nuclear programme.”

It was inevitable. || A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, 1785. || A compendium of Victorian magazines. (h/t, drb) || Oh Canada, what have you done? (h/t, Jon) || It just isn’t tricky enough unless it’s also on fire. || Experimental flight videos, over 400 of them. || The future is now. || Photo roulette. || A decade in the life of a Ukrainian park bench. || How to make a wooden knife. || It was the Nineties, everyone was doing it. || Dog and pony show. || Slow-mo sumo. || Tractor pull mishaps. || I don’t think he had a plan. || This is one of these. || That. || Jupiter. || Geometric tarts. || Cow eats mail. || Caterpillars. || Lord Paget and his leg. || And finally, as a warning to us all, a brief history of spermatorrhea, a beastly, life-threatening affliction caused by “abuse of the genital organs.”

As I’m pushed for time this week, you’re getting another chance to throw together your own pile of links and oddities in the comments. I’ll set the ball rolling with a speck you may want to magnify; a symbolic modern dialogue; some serpentine feathers; what someone apparently needed; the poorly-made shirts of William Shatner; and a brief history of deadly hats, killer bras and crinoline conflagrations. 

Oh, and here we see our betters, including several educators, demonstrating why they’re just more evolved than we are. 

Local toughs. (h/t, Ben) || Lucas has been captured. || The London time machine. || The mothership wasn’t the first thing to land there. || “How big would the Solar System be if Earth were the size of a basketball?” || “His basketball game got better.” || Why dogs don’t rule the… Oh bugger. || Bond versus Bond in… Die Spy Kill Kill. || Acoustic tractor beam. || Hot steel malfunction. || It tells you quite a lot about who they are. || Lighthouse interior. || Best not to, really. || “Not a sweet smile.” || If she didn’t have double standards, she’d have no standards at all. || Gastro Obscura. || That star over there is much, much bigger than ours. || Owl buddies. || Bathroom scenes. (h/t, dicentra) || Birds in fog. || And finally, via Elephants Gerald, “I felt like my hands were just too big for this task.”