What Did The Lichen Say To You?
The class, since you ask, is Ecofeminist Poetry & Poetics. Taught by a Professor of English, Brian Teare, who will, we’re assured, situate relationships and encourage re-feeling.
Professor Teare will also reveal, in ways somewhat mysterious, how “chattel slavery, imperialism, industrialisation, settler colonialism, and militarisation” can be understood – and righteously tutted about – by listening to “birds, goats, willow oaks, and lichen.”
Those suitably intrigued will “listen across species.” Having forked over the suitable fee, of course.
Because an intersection had to be mentioned at some point, obviously. One must be seen wearing that rhetorical jewellery.
Professor Teare, pictured here, is the recipient of a Guggenheim Fellowship.
See also, situated bodies and self-other paradigms.
Consider this an open thread. Share ye links and bicker.
It’s for kids who think word salad is clever.
Pretty much.
Ecofeminist poetry is, it seems, some kind of multi-tool. Applicable everywhere, however implausibly, and via whatever convolution is required. You can probably use it to get the stones out of horses’ hooves.
The course notes also make clear how impressively black some of the quoted authors are. Because that’s a credential now and bestows instant gravitas, apparently.
I very much doubt you could salvage anything of value from their world.
The carpets, maybe.
I wonder if he pees on the plants right before students come into the room.
For those who missed the reference.
My allotment owning friend says he often listens to his rhubarb, but only hears, “people, people, people”.
Is there anyone who’s actually lichen this?
[ Loud booing. ]
The prof is a day late to the party.
No refunds. No credit note.
Regrow hair even.
Well, the course content, such as it is, appears to be worthless garbage – just contrivance, word salad and flummery. A pit into which other people’s money is poured. And the people involved are garbage, too – as demonstrated by their modish obfuscation, their shameless affectation, their exploitation of teenage credulity, the sheer fucking cheek of it. I see no saving grace.
That’s because Teare & Co have snaffled it, along with the grant money.
But of course.
Has everyone now seen this perfect representation of liberal idiocy?
Deploy ‘trans-women are women’ in 5, 4, 3, …
I learned French by listening to “birds, goats, willow oaks, and lichen”.
[ Leaves out bowl of lichen, in case anyone feels an urge to listen to it. ]
[ Adds sign, Lichen chatter, $5. ]
The White guy speaking deserves the death penalty every bit as much as the terrorist. He’s why the terrorists are here.
I enjoyed mad-libs as a kid but did not imagine it could be a tool for writing academic papers…
Indeed. A practiced ignorance, as David would put it.
“All women are jealous of me.”
“That’s ma’am!”
I enjoyed mad-libs as a kid but did not imagine it could be a tool for writing academic papers…
This was a funny joke when I was in grad school, but when Real Peer Review and this blog started linking to actual papers, it is less so. Now it seems that’s how writing is done in some non-disciplines, especially that “ethnography” crap.
https://phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1121
[ Updates sign, Lichen chatter, $10. ]
Can’t believe I bothered to look up whether there are any circumstances in which lichen make noises that students of ecofeminist poetry and poetics might hear when loitering near trees or suitably damp rocks.
Needless to say, lichen have no sound-producing anatomy and any sounds they may make – say, when drying out – are entirely inaudible to humans.
I am therefore doubtful that listening to lichen will reveal much about “chattel slavery, imperialism, industrialisation, settler colonialism, and militarisation.”
[ Updates sign, Lichen chatter, $10. ]
I remember when playing music for and talking to your houseplants was a big thing, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of the reverse, and I’m not buying it now.
On the subject of plant sounds though, I have read that in the large Midwestern US corn fields in the heat of summer, you can hear the corn growing.
And as a wee seedling growing up in the rural Frozen Northeast US and hiking into a pine forest with my father, I have heard the tall pines. They don’t talk, but the slightest movement of breeze sets the needles rustling, and it is a unique sound.
Didn’t cost me $10K, nor is there any ecofeminist dribble about it, either.
Artefacts of enrichment, a possible series.
Point and counterpoint.
[ Fetches goggles, lab coat, bombards bowl of lichen with gamma rays. ]
[ Waits for lichen to develop power of speech, melodic singing. ]
This ^. As good as the sound of surf breaking on a beach.
Oh, and that Thing That Never Happens…
Well, guess what.
Largo
Now the rain
Now the seams put in evening
Now the tree seeming shakes out
of felt unfolds cleanly
If in falling rain names what it touches
If beneath the tree a dry radius describes
form steps forward wearing its suit of summer’s dust
A quietus
My ear on his chest where rest hems breath with thread
until being is everywhere an edge a cloth’s
periphery pinned with rocks & we under
look up dry out the light turn
sleep to costume Now the sleeves
Now clean buttons to shut our eyes
Now our each seam gleams
Brian Teare
”Vogon is a variety of poetry, often considered to be one of the worst. It is sometimes used by the Vogons as a torture method, as it causes physical pain to the listener”.
”The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy”
The only modest good thing to come out of that:
The defendant will be sent to a men’s prison.
Personally, I feel an appointment with a woodchipper would have been a better result.
I’m reminded of the scene in which Arthur Dent visits the headquarters of the eponymous publication, which is under attack, being bombarded from orbit. Despite the thunderous explosions, he encounters obliviousness. In disbelief, and trying to be heard over the explosions, he shouts, “Do you know your building’s being bombed?!”
As a summary of our times, it does have a certain symbolic quality.
Glasgow fire: vape shop was unregistered/unlicensed and was not paying taxes. Betcha it was owned/operated by those “migrants” that assimilate so well into our society.
[ Fetches goggles, lab coat, bombards bowl of lichen with gamma rays. ]
Somehow I imagine that to sound like this although maybe that’s just the Geiger counter going off…
This brought this to mind.
Aelf: which in turn reminds me of this famous retort by Gough Whitlam.
Gamma rays? All you’ll get will be very angry lichen.
@aelf: That is a fascinating collection of letters. Thank you.
“Asylum seeker”
Not convincing.
Lionel Shriver talking to Douglas Murray about, A Better Life, her novel on immigration…
It’s been done, more or less.
One of the reasons I have so much contempt for liberals.
Oh dear, another one.
Migrants make our subways vibrant.
One of the victims is 83 years old.
This partial solution has been suggested, but killing them would be cheaper and more effective.
Has everyone now seen this perfect representation of liberal idiocy?
A Turk and an Afghan – historical others to Europeans. They look like angry crazy aliens. They throw what look like cartoon bombs with smoking fuses. Like in Rotherham, stereotypes and prejudices hyperconfirmed, but still in bad taste to mention.
Protest based on the belief that Muslims are aliens who don’t belong here, who behave badly by treating inclusion as a stepping-stone to domination, and whose playbook includes escalating street violence to get fear and compliance from the host population. Point proven, but in bad taste to mention.
Media as usual reports it as violence at right wing anti-Manami demonstration. Some sources called the Turk and the Afghan “Pennsylvania teens”, unintentionally leading some readers to imagine exuberant irrepressible black ragamuffins.
Megaphone guy’s schtick is telling whites that he has contempt for you and your religion but this bible verse he’s found requires you to fill your town with as many Somalis who want to come. He said he was in the middle of saying that everyone was welcome in NY when some people did some things and the fascists squealed and ran away like little girls. But what in fact he’s saying just at that moment, and getting quite excited about it too, is “…you don’t get to come from outside…” – they deny whites territoriality but they get turned on by aligning themselves with the aggressive masculine territoriality of non-whites.