Friday Ephemera
Spot the error. || The thrill of beavers. (h/t, Elephants Gerald) || Bold statement. || Baggage of note. (h/t, Ben) || New job. || Not yet junk. || Incoming. || Needles and a bag of shit. || Assorted things, close up. || Reviews of U.S. national parks, presented as catchy posters. || Assorted historical photos, from adhesive bras and polar bear mascots to the making of Godzilla, 1954. (h/t, Things) || Dad skills. || A little anxiety. || She’s “an avian-human hybrid” and she wants you to memorise her pronouns. || I was previously unfamiliar with the breast paradox. || Women’s football match interrupted by something more interesting. || And finally, for a moment there, I wasn’t quite sure what it was he was making.
Spot the error.
Textbook schadenfreude — so much laughter on my part, so much pain (and some pieces) on his part. I definitely won’t take any pleasure from seeing the “after” photos from his visit to the hospital.
Not yet junk.
Sigh. I had some fans that still worked perfectly after 60-70 years. They just don’t make ’em like they used to.
Reviews of U.S. national parks, presented as catchy posters.
Reviews by Calvin when he was older?
Spot the error.
Did you notice the name of that Twitter account?
Avian-human hybrids reminds me of Robert Altman’s film Brewster McCloud, a film whose premise sounds romantic but ends up being quite creepy and disturbing (spoiler here).
the breast paradox
This will require much careful study.
Women’s football match interrupted by something more interesting.
[ Ponders trying that ploy. ]
Cthulhu or Dr. Zoidberg?
Salvador Dali in Zimbabwe?
What percent of slum dwellers are not criminals?
The Lionel Richie/KISS mash-up you never knew you needed:
https://twitter.com/danceyrselfdean/status/1541963831424999425
Adhesive bras
Previously I pointed out that human breasts were not perfect hemispheres. However, neither are they perfect cones, which leads me to believe Mr. Langs had no first hand experience with them.
adhesive bras
I’m betting he tried this scam before “fitting” his bras.
Women’s football match interrupted by something more interesting.
Anything is more interesting than women’s football.
Just like Toledo, Ohio. They’ve got entertainment to dazzle your eyes go visit the bakery and watch the buns rise.
A new word for me today ptosis
To be used with discretion…
Adhesive bras
Worn under backless evening frocks, thus defeating the whole purpose of a garment meant to demonstrate that the wearer’s breasts need no support. Also worn by actresses supposedly topless viewed from behind.
They’ll never catch on.
Needles and a bag of shit.
Bad place to wear flip-flops.
A little anxiety.
Okay, that was stressful.
“Reviews of U.S. national parks, presented as catchy posters.”
Oh, my, that’s sublime!
Morning, all.
The Lionel Richie/KISS mash-up you never knew you needed
Oh, that’s nicely done.
Okay, that was stressful.
[ Places phone on satin cushion, carefully removes stray particle of dust. ]
Oh, and another racist, sub-literate “equity” advisor.
Mr Rodriguez hasn’t yet mastered basic grammar, or indeed coherent thinking, but he does know that the secret to career advancement is to insult parents and to disdain white people at every opportunity.
Children in the district of Columbia’s public schools are so lucky to have him.
More dad skills.
K-mart used to have the best fans. I have a bunch of them, up to 45 years old and still work.
When the revolution comes, I want that guy who bought and destroyed K-mart to be the first one on the train to Siberia.
Bold statement.
? How do you even get to be that shape?
Bold statement.
It’s a rejected outfit from the movie Mahogany.
for a moment there, I wasn’t quite sure what it was he was making.
At the 12 second mark…
Speaking of bold wardrobe solutions.
Bold wardrobe solutions
This person is more usually be be found online extolling the virtues of “pup sex” as evidenced by many lurid photos.
Rarely can so many boxes have been triumphantly ticked by a single hiring. Dr Rachel Levine, the 4 star admiral who looks like Penn Jillette in the year 2030, appears normal by comparison.
Rarely can so many boxes have been triumphantly ticked by a single hiring.
Well, I don’t know about the “pup sex” thing – I haven’t seen – but it must be quite strange, possibly demoralising, to share an office with this person and to be obliged to pretend that nothing is amiss.
If there’s a breast paradox, then there’s gotta be a butt paradox, too.
I demand answers.
This young miss is exhausted after a day of work.
I demand answers.
That is because you weren’t properly educated.
“The thrill of beavers.”
Ditto. (It’s kind of SimCity with water management. And rodents.)
“Reviews of U.S. national parks, presented as catchy posters.”
Where’s the “Rate this review as useful” button?
This person identifies as a bird and uses ey/em/eir pronouns because birds don’t inherently have a gender
Birds are very, very obviously sexed. Has ‘Camryn’ spent any time around birds at all? (And who’s ‘Avery’? Is this a parody?)
Breast paradox: there is indeed a butt paradox, as Burnsie asks. No other mammal has females with such gorgeous butts. Why? Turns out there is actually an answer: A fatty acid crucial to brain development in the fetus is stored in the butt. So in a Darwinian sense, a cheerful butt means smart babies.
Incidentally, I’ve noticed that the heart shape for valentine’s day is a perfect replica of a woman’s rear end. It looks nothing like a heart. This is also the real reason why men let women go through doors first.
Also from the historical photos archive, some unhappy food adverts.
Note the newborn-baby-in-cellophane, and the butter-bare-buttocks combo.
The avian-human hybrid lady advises us on how best to pick up her preferred pronoun use: “…so the best way I think to practice is to write out … a couple of short sentences…”
I wonder if anyone likes her enough to tell her that she’s not quite fascinating and attractive enough to expect people to practice as a condition of her friendship.
and the butter-bare-buttocks combo.
“It’s better with butter”
Did you notice it’s the ref and the Chilenas giving out the tummy rubs? I think Bonzo was lucky the Venezolanas didn’t invite him back home for a barbecue.
Since we’re on the subject of barbecues, that Georgian Outlier in the scatterplot is easily explained away – large posteriors are not something you have to search the web for if you spend any time at barbecue places.
“It’s better with butter”
[ Rummages under bar for bigger, more ostentatious pair of spectacles. Peers over them. ]
I’ve noticed that the heart shape for valentine’s day is a perfect replica of a woman’s rear end.
I take it you didn’t see David’s 3rd link…
I’ve noticed that the heart shape for valentine’s day is a perfect replica of a woman’s rear end.
I’ll wait for a historical study of the development of the Valentine’s Day heart shape: Other origins seem possible.
This young miss is exhausted after a day of work.
That’s gotta be a troll. And in no way is she in “tech”, she’s excited about starting a marketing job.
Other origins seem possible.
I’ll go with crappy medieval anatomists and sacred heart renderings. Take out the flaming aorta and there it is…
Anything is more interesting than women’s football.
I’m by no means an expert on the sport, but even I can see a marked difference in the speed of play, and in the level of skill. I’m actually a little surprised there’s any audience at all for women’s football. I mean, it’s like actual football, but much worse.
Friendly dogs, on the other hand, are hard to resist.
Unhappy food adverts are still worth us… Kellogg cereal anyone?
Turns out there is actually an answer: A fatty acid crucial to brain development in the fetus is stored in the butt. So in a Darwinian sense, a cheerful butt means smart babies.
The things you learn here. And delicious bar snacks, too!
And delicious bar snacks, too!
[ Orders even more absurdly large spectacles from Amazon. Peers over them. ]
but even I can see a marked difference in the speed of play, and in the level of skill.
I get anxiety watching them slooooowly get to the ball. I can’t help the feeling that the defender will get to it well before the “controlling” team. There’s not enough scoring in soccer as it is. Though AIUI women’s goals per game are ever so slightly higher than men’s when teams are evenly matched.
Well said …