A Little Of What You Fancy

Best enlarged.
I see what you did there.

[ Holds up stock photo of adorable puppies. ]
The announcement of “NEW cooking instructions” bodes well.
Stewed puppies? Stir fried?

Best enlarged.
The notable shrinkage most likely due to the cold of the refrigerator. Just a guess.

The announcement of “NEW cooking instructions” bodes well. I suspect there may be a story there.
Lol. Not for all the tea in China.

“The water was cold!”

Tessa, a 29-year-old in the Midwest who teaches 14- to 18-year-olds at a private school for students with learning impairments, says that while many of her students “simply take on the talking points and politics of their conservative parents,” this can make them especially ripe targets for full-blown radicalization and infatuation with far-right figures. “A few started listening to Joe Rogan’s podcast, which led to them reading Jordan Peterson’s books,” she says. “I think that Joe Rogan’s ideology is the biggest threat to critical thinking in the last decade.”

Never heard a podcast referred to as an ideology before.
Also, Joe Rogan is “the biggest threat to critical thinking in the last decade”? Is that possible?

Jacob, a 28-year-old teacher in Texas, says that [it] can be a very delicate balance. “I would never want to ‘convert’ someone to being liberal, because you shouldn’t be converting anybody to political ideologies,” he says [ .. ] The trouble, Jacob says, is that when he discusses ideas with his students that pose even the mildest challenge to the conservative orthodoxy that prevails in his region, he faces backlash from parents. [ … ] “I’ve had to accept that from time to time I will teach tolerance, and it will be seen as brainwashing,” he tells me.

Fnnk, heh … he he he he he a-ha ha ha ha [ Falls into coughing fit. Drinks water. Eyes ‘water’ glass suspiciously. ]

Tessa says[:] “I feel like I should be able to do a better job at teaching critical-thinking skills and they should have enough trust in me to believe that I’m telling them the truth.”
“Honestly,” she adds, “it makes me feel like I’ve failed at my job.”

I was so convinced that this was an Onion- or Babylon Bee-like satire that I had to Google the source to find out.
But as far as I can tell,apparently it’s in deadly earnest:

“[Men’s lifestyle magazines were] an area that really needed reinvention and to be blown up, in the same way that Jezebel and the Cut and the women’s side of things had been doing things right for a while [ … ] there was a real opportunity to fill a need with a certain kind of male consumer and reader [ … ] it’s never been there just to push razors. It’s been there to be a thought leader on modern masculinity”

It’s been there to be a thought leader on modern masculinity
I was going to sarcastically say that modern, like social, is now a negative. But then I thought, that’s actually true, isn’t it? Modern art, modern architecture, modern anything really.

Heh. Just ran across this. Was the joke intentional?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benefits_Supervisor_Sleeping?wprov=sfti1

Tell me, ladies, would you put one of those in your mouth?

Snicker.
It’s amazing just how quickly this place goes downmarket.

imitations in look and taste of normal food products
Those were normal food products?

After seeing the enlarged version
*sniggers*

After seeing the enlarged version
*sniggers*
Heh.
I’m not even sorry.

Aren’t all sausages plant-based?

In addition to meatface, vegan food companies are also engaging in eggface.

Maybe Hal can find this — years ago, when “Hagar the Horrible” was funny, the waiter brought him a huge slab of meat, spilling over the ends of the platter. Hagar pointed to a little speck on top and said, “What’s this?” “Sprig of parsley, sir.” Hagar howled: “I ordered steak, not steak all smothered in vegetables!”

Food labelling laws are very strict when it comes to normal food.
For example, around these parts we have a product which a lot of the world calls Canadian bacon. In my part of Canada, we call it peameal bacon, which was originally a cured pork loin rolled in pea meal (dried ground peas). Well it hasn’t been made with pea meal for over 70 years. Instead, it is rolled and coated in corn meal; but it’s still known as and called peameal bacon. Well, the food police weren’t going to stand for this great fraud and fined the food companies forcing them to rename the product “cured pork in cornmeal.”
Way more than you ever wanted to know about peameal bacon I’m sure. If you ever visit Toronto (if we’re ever allowed to travel again), you should visit the St. Lawrence market and have a peameal bacon on a bun. It’s a simple but great sandwich.

You know, if you watch sci-fi movies featuring 8 foot tall aliens with weird orthodontia, tails and acid blood and you see BLACK FOLK as villains, maybe the racist is you.

I displayed the picture to my husband, and after staring at it for about 10 seconds, he croaked: ‘Take it away. It gives me the willies!’
For all you colonials who may be linguistically challenged, and for the regalement of my compatriots:
https://metro.co.uk/2010/12/02/lloydspharmacy-penis-map-shows-different-words-for-willy-around-uk-596797/

“You know, if you watch sci-fi movies featuring 8 foot tall aliens with weird orthodontia, tails and acid blood and you see BLACK FOLK as villains, maybe the racist is you.”
The trouble is that the Xenomorph and Predator don’t speak. If they did, you’d discover that they’re English.

Don’t forget the song!
Or the SNL sketch!
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2mshi6

‘Take it away. It gives me the willies!’
For all you colonials who may be linguistically challenged, and for the regalement of my compatriots:
Some number of years back there was a formulaic family-friendly story. very definitely targeting the younger audience, with songs by Michael Jackson, New Kids on the Block, and SWV. . . .
I don’t know of the length of the following or if the these are uncut, but apparently there are:
Free Willy
Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home
Free Willy: Escape From Pirate’s Cove

Penseivat: “Tell me, ladies, would you put one of those in your mouth?”
I believe the classic rejoinder is ‘if it’ll fit in my mouth, I ain’t interested, honey…’

Could the photo have been taken in the US, where dates are the wrong way round? In that case the 08/21 expiry date would be tomorrow, rather than one year hence. I find imperishable Frankenfoods disconcerting, though I did recently consume some pre-lockdown eggs without any ill-effects. Hard-boiled, obviously.

For those who are curious, possibly tempted, the foodstuff featured above is “made from plant-based ingredients including peas, fava beans and rice.” Oh, and algae. The alleged “meat colour” comes from beets. Said items should not be boiled, or microwaved, or cooked from frozen. They can, however, be grilled, griddled, or fried.
There’s also a “hot Italian” variant with added potato starch and “apple fibre.”

White vegans, stop appropriating food
Stick to egg, bacon and a fried slice.

I’ll just leave this here….
https://twitter.com/Andrewmd5/status/1296270650047229953

Anya Zoledziowski and Her Fellow Travelers* can fuck right off. The Great Shit Testing cannot come to a violent end soon enough.
So, Mr Sampson…
Is as is so often the case rather light-skinned and apparently has more money to his name than my entire extended family, or all the black people I’ve ever known combined.
Are we taking bets on what kind of neighborhood he grew up in?

Mr Sampson clearly regards himself as an elevated being, a bringer of woke wisdom, a moral sophisticate. Alas, he is merely a preening degenerate, and quite commonplace.
Like Mr Clive Stafford Smith, mentioned here.

“Vegans”
Reminds me of this classic exchange in Scott Pilgrim:
Vegan Police : [whips out notepad] 12:47 on February 1st: You knowingly ingested gelato.
Todd Ingram : Gelato isn’t vegan?
Vegan Police : It’s milk and eggs, bitch.
Vegan Police : [still reading] On April 4th, 7:30 pm, you partook of a plate of chicken Parmesan.
[Envy gasps, then glares at Todd]
Todd Ingram : [feeble] Chicken isn’t vegan?

Ace of Spades:
‘I would imagine that seeing blacks parading through white neighborhoods with drums and horns at 2am telling whites “No justice, no sleep” and demanding they give their homes to black people is undermining Black Lives Matter’s claim that black people are just absolutely terrified of police.’
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/389715.php

I’ll just leave this here….
Sampson does the “oh those are just physical things easily replaced” fuckery that’s on par with the shrieking hysterics against anyone worried how they business will survive the Wuhan Bat Lab virus lockdown “You care more about money than LIVES!! RHEEEE!”
Every one of those physical things that amoral carbunkles like Sampson feelz should be up for looting on whim represents “X” amount of time from the owner’s life. X time working to earn the money to purchase it. Time that can never be recovered. These assholes are stealing “just a physical thing” they are stealing a portion of that owner’s LIFE. And no, it is not “easily” replaced. It will take more TIME from the owner’s life to replace it, even if the “just physical things” are insured. And then there’s the “just physical things” that represent much more than just the portion of the owner’s life to acquire it. The things that represent the lives of the owner’s parents or grandparents. Stuff that cannot be replaced.
And that’s before even the shattered feelings of security, the feelings of being violated when unknown strangers destroy personal boundaries as well as stealing part of their lives.
There’s a reason why the victims of burglaries liken the experience to rape.

You could buy t-shirts there printed with their slogan, “You just can’t beat Grandpa’s meat”.
[ Peers over spectacles. ]
Right, tomorrow’s Ephemera has been compiled and should materialise just after midnight.
Have a fine evening, all.

if you watch sci-fi movies featuring 8 foot tall aliens
All of the stunt performers who played the aliens in question were black. So there’s that.
Then again, all of the actors who played Ferengi on Deep Space Nine were Jewish.

No mention of John and Lorena Bobbitt in all of these comments? Have we forgotten already?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_and_Lorena_Bobbitt
“…After a while driving and struggling to steer with one hand, she threw it out the window into a roadside field. She eventually stopped and called 9-1-1, telling them what had happened and where the penis could be found. John Bobbitt’s penis was found after an exhaustive search, and after being washed with antiseptic and packed in saline ice, it was re-attached in the hospital where he was treated. The operation took nine and a half hours.[3] Bobbitt went on to star in two pornographic films in the 1990s,and states that his penis is “back to normal”….”
A penis isn’t vegan?

Now we know the substance of the infamous, unsavory wandering Sausage Roll. Best Before Date explains why it is still hiding under the fridge eyeing Julia.