No Black Lights Were Available
New York Times contributor David Kaufman, writing here, wants us to know that he’s rendered distraught by “subtle streams of everyday racism that course through our homes, our workplaces, and the outside world.” An endless assault that “bombards people of colour.” People such as himself. It is, we’re told, time for a “cultural reckoning.”
For me, this reckoning begins with traffic signals.
Hm. Perhaps retracing our steps will help. Make things less confounding.
A few months back, before Covid-19 kept us in our homes and George Floyd made us take to the streets, I was walking with a friend, her daughter, and my twin sons. My friend is White and I’m not — something I’d never given a second thought until we reached a crosswalk. “Remember, honey,” she said to her daughter as we waited for the light to turn green, “we need to wait for the little White man to appear before we can cross the street.”
And in the very next breath:
I realise that White people like to exert control over nearly everything everyone does, I thought, but since when did this literally include trying to cross the street?
It’s a bold leap. Dense with assumptions. And hey, no racism there. Mr Kaufman – who can doubtless detect racism in the motions of subatomic particles – would have us believe that his friend was using the word white as a racial descriptor, rather than, as seems more likely, an unremarkable acknowledgement of a traffic light’s colour when talking to a child. In light of which, Mr Kaufman’s claims of being “bombarded” with racism – daily, everywhere – become at least explicable, if not convincing.
As a Black dad, I was struck by the language at play. How is it possible that well into the 21st century, parents all over Manhattan — well-meaning, #BLM-marching parents — are teaching their children to ask “little White men” for permission to cross the street? And why doesn’t this seem to bother them? It certainly bothered me.
The pedestrian crossing signal that so distresses Mr Kaufman – a rudimentary humanoid figure, made of white lights on a black background – can be seen here, from a safe distance. You may want to steady yourselves. It’s all very upsetting, at least for the exquisitely sensitive – people finer than ourselves, and who write for the New York Times. Mr Kaufman then goes on an investigative journey, in which he learns why, in a society with lots of non-English speakers, crossing signals with words – walk / don’t walk – are being replaced by simple, universal graphics, calibrated to capture attention – say, by using lights of a certain hue:
It’s “lunar white,” according to the Federal Highway administration: a shade of white with yellow and grey accents that mimics the colour of the moon. Lunar white wasn’t chosen because it sounds cool. According to FHWA research, the agency spokesperson says, moonlight offers “the peak sensitivity for the rod cells in the human retina.” In other words, our vision is predisposed to favouring the clarity and intensity of moonlight.
All sounds quite sensible. Rather than, say, a nefarious racial conspiracy intended to break the will of the negro. However, Mr Kaufman – for whom pretentious agonising is the very stuff of life, or at least the stuff of woke status – is not easily deterred.
But my heart still sinks at the spectre of teaching my sons to ask a White man for permission to do — well, anything. Because so much of the world already insists that we do.
Loaded and sweeping claims for which no evidence or explanation are deemed necessary, and which are nonetheless expected to command deference, are, it seems, a signature of Mr Kaufman’s prose. And presumably, his mental habits.
Nonetheless, that little White man woke me up to the ways that language imparts power and privilege even upon the most banal necessities. And so, as I begin teaching my boys survival basics like riding a bike, waiting in line, and… yes… crossing the street, I’ll work hard to avoid phrases like “little White man.”
Happily, Mr Kaufman devises a cunning alternative.
a bit of extra verbal labour is worth the price of not conceding our power to even one more little White man.
And so,
bright light person.
A triumph, then, of sorts. An act of radical defiance. Against sensible pedestrian crossings.
Heavens, buttons. I wonder what they do. 
Hmmm Kaufman…would that be the East African Kaufmans or the West African Kaufmans? Kaufman is the Smith of the African phone book.
We’ll let him choose and then deport him accordingly.
I am genuinely puzzled by…[fill in cognitive dissonance fad of the day]
I get this a lot from my wife, who was previously apolitical but dove in head first when attacked by her peers for mildly supporting Trump and therefore being racist/etc.
This site especially is great for spelunking the lurid depths of insane minds inflicted with the collectivist virus, but it’s only interesting from the perspective of the sane and rational. To rationalize (as it were) the left’s worldview as a leftists would is quite simple and straightforward: me good, you bad, gibs me dat. It is the logic of a thief or brutal conqueror but without the honesty.
We gaze upon them in wonder, amusement, and horror. But to seriously apply enlightenment standards and protocols to their worldview is like meekly asking the demands of a screaming toddler in that it both misses the point and is ultimately counter-productive to resolving the situation.
Isn’t the simple solution just to eliminate crossing signals altogether? Sort of like eliminating city names, sports team nicknames,etc.? I’m sure if we work hard enough we can get this all straightened out!
to seriously apply enlightenment standards and protocols to their worldview is like meekly asking the demands of a screaming toddler
It’s why although our gracious host pointing out the lack of reciprocity inherent in leftists is a good thing inasmuch as it demonstrates the point to the sane and rational yet uninformed, we shouldn’t make the mistake of treating leftists rationally. The only possible response is to tell them to sit down and shut up or they’ll be removed from the room since they can’t behave like adults.
Sort of like eliminating city names, sports team nicknames … the police.
I’m actually all for this self-destructive idiocy, just as long as it doesn’t affect me. See, this is the genius of the American republic. It ought to be possible to let the madder states just get on with imposing their ideological lunacy pour encourager les autres. Unfortunately for America, they seem to be determined to take the whole country down with them.
I’m sure if we work hard enough
As we’ve seen, some just aren’t willing to “do the work.”
Needless to say, the implausibly sensitive Mr Kaufman seems to regard being black as his job, the basis for his career and media profile. “As a black…” being a go-to sentence-starter.
There is a difference between a Black Professional and and a Professional Black, the first requiring ever so much more effort. The second, as far as I can tell, nothing more than the flapping of gums.
And for those we have numerous words, starting politely with social justice warrior and progressing rapidly to spoiled, preening, screeching, shit-bag.
I’m leaning more and more towards “pre-corpse”.
I’m still laughing at screeching shit-bag.
But … but … by renaming the “little white man” as “bright lights man” he is committing a terrible act of discrimination against dull people everywhere
Is “little white man” sizeist?
I am genuinely puzzled by the extent to which Americans of any degree of African ancestry . . .
I suppose Mr Kaufman will next be wondering why The Little White Man walks away while the Black Man does all the work.
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=Men+working+hiway+sign&ia=images&iax=images
Also very presumptuous to call the workers “Slow”.
“No, I’m not white. I’m Black like you.”
You should visit Australia where people who are whiter than Albino Swedes claim to be Aboriginal – usually because their grandfather lived in the same street as an Aboriginal person a century ago, or something. They’re called “Fauxboriginals”, and their increasing numbers are due to that little box they can check on applications to go to the front of the class, top of the list, get the government grant etc.
our gracious host pointing out the lack of reciprocity inherent in leftists is a good thing inasmuch as it demonstrates the point to the sane and rational
The non-reciprocal aspect is, shall we say, quite common – practically a signature of woke posturing. And so, above, Mr Kaufman wants us to believe that he, being black, is “bombarded” with racism, every day, everywhere, even by a plainly innocuous comment made at a traffic crossing. Racism is bad, see? And he does while ascribing to a friend racism, or at least the doing of racial harm – by slyly suggesting that she, the friend, used the word white as a racial descriptor, rather than, as seems more likely, an unremarkable acknowledgement of a traffic light’s colour when talking to a child. And Mr Kaufman badmouths his friend, baselessly, for status and personal gain, while himself making sweeping and ludicrous racial comments about “white people,” all of whom, we’re told, “like to exert control over nearly everything everyone does.”
Taken at face value, leftist politics is often unrealistic, contradictory and bewildering. But if you consider the kinds of psychology in play, it becomes a little easier to fathom, though no more attractive.
There was recently an opinion piece that pointed out two conspicuous features of the race-hustling celebrity:
1) They are half white.
2) They come from middle-or-above income families, and have been raised within mostly white social networks.
The short of it was that these jackasses have fuck-all in common with the stereotypical black community, yet in the white environment they are used to they are seen as black – not white. And they desperately desire validation. From white people.
And what is the laziest yet still surefire way to acquire validation from a bunch of white rubes?
Mr Kaufman simply wants us to know that as a Black/ Jewish ‘Man of Color’ living in New York, his daily life is such a nightmare that he has declared himself the winner of the oppression Olympics and could he please have some of those sweet, sweet diversity bucks?
Personally, I’d suggest he writes a book about his experiences; provisionally entitled: ‘ My Struggle’.
Catchy, yes?
Heavens, a button. I wonder what it does.
Just how expensive was that haircut?
Anyway, consider your fancy tickled.
Just how expensive was that haircut?
Hey, I’d have walked on hot coals to look this good.
And bless you, sir. Should you be faced with the decision of what to do with a deceased hamster, and should you opt for returning its remains to nature, i.e., the woodland at the end of the garden, may you never find that this moment of great solemnity and poignancy is undermined somewhat as, due to inadequate throwing skill, and the aerodynamics of an expired and stiffened hamster, said object ricochets off a tree, and then a second tree, to darkly comical effect.
[ Plunges hand into Burnsie’s drink, scoops up remains of ice, drops it into Hyppogryph’s glass. ]
Damn. Those cubes added such an interesting bouquet.
Are you supposed to drink the fly?
Are you supposed to drink the fly?
[ Digs out Burnsie’s bar tab, adds amuse-bouche. ]
Is it Spanish?
Quite a thoughtful article in Quillette about yet another ludicrous mob-led cancellation in yet another cowardly institute of lower ignorance. The authoress Margaret Wente makes some good points, as well as some howlers – like “…the most important paper in the world, the New York Times”.
Snort! Perhaps she was being ironic?
Is it Spanish?
Spanish is extra.
“And Mr Kaufman badmouths his friend, baselessly, for status and personal gain…”
The older Mr Kaufman gets, the fewer white friends he will have, until the only ones left are people as damaged as him. An ugly fate.
Mr Kaufman reminds me of some memorable Pratchett characters:
“That’s right,” said Brother Plasterer. “My landlord oppresses me something wicked. Banging on the door and going on and on about all the rent I allegedly owe, which is a total lie. And the people next door oppress me all night long. I tell them, I work all day, a man’s got to have some time to learn to play the tuba. That’s oppression, that is. If I’m not under the heel of the oppressor, I don’t know who is.”
You should visit Australia where people who are whiter than Albino Swedes claim to be Aboriginal
Mrs. Oik and I travelled to Oz last November. We met up with some Aussie friends in Perth and visited a few places dotted around Western Australia, ending up in the splendid town of York. At lunchtime on the first day we were buying sammiches* from an excellent Vietnamese bakery when a massive punch-up between two rival Aborigine clans erupted outside. The bakery/deli had a couple of small tables each seating four either side of the front door; as we went in they were all occupied. There was a man who was clearly Aboriginal (and the baby daddy), a couple of younger mixed-race teenage boys with white skins and curly red dreadlocks, with the remainder being dreadlocked and tattooed white women, who struck me as, er, skanky in the same way as our own distaff underclass (I denounce myself).
Their enemies in the band who rolled up and started proceedings were of pretty much the same demographic; the two alpha males squared up to each other, deploying ludicrously telegraphed MMA-style roundhouse kicks which didn’t connect, which was fortunate since once-seated baby father had an infant in a sling. The women and kids got right down to it, though, getting stuck in with kicks and punches, accompanied by screeching obscenities and much hurling of furniture and food and drink.
Mrs. Oik and I watched open-mouthed and aghast, our Aussie friends muttered something like “That’s bloody typical- they’ve eff all better to do than drink and get into fights”. After about ninety seconds sirens could be heard in the distance, so the participants ceased hostilities and legged it. The Vietnamese ladies picked up the furniture and spillages and as we left we greeted by a splendidly suntanned local lady of a certain age who had been picking up her her shopping next door. “What a waste of a bloody nice sandwich”, she offered, along with “Welcome to York”.
My niece, a nurse who works in A&E in Sydney, reckons that Aboriginals (real ones or just hangers on) are an absolute nightmare to deal with.
* I understand that it is now mandatory to use this term around here.
Not entirely unrelated: Today’s words are psychological poison.
Via Darleen.
My niece, a nurse who works in A&E in Sydney, reckons that Aboriginals (real ones or just hangers on) are an absolute nightmare to deal with.
I have a friend who was training to be a doctor and given a rotation in hospital in Paisley. Apparently this is valuable because it’s one of the few places in Britain where trainees can become proficient in handling machete wounds. And there’s not an aboriginal in sight!
I note a certain ginger commonality with the group in your description however. I can only conclude that the damn Scots are to blame. Again.
How does Mr Kaufman know that it’s a little white MAN?
psychological poison
https://www.takimag.com/article/a-whole-new-breed-of-white-people/
And they desperately desire validation. From white people.
Yeah, reminds me of the African Warlord thing where they attain power by fighting against those evil imperialist Europeans only to move into the marble-columned mansion and don the full Colonial administrator jacket, albeit blinged out with enough medals to signify their importance, of course.
Or the other way round, like Ghandi’s desperate and unfulfilled wish to be British leading to his activism towards kicking them out.
“Yeah, reminds me of the African Warlord thing…”
Remember the late 80’s BBC/PBS documentary series The Africans which in part justified traditional African folkways which were behind so much of the corruption and backwardness?
You know how Idiocracy was supposed to be a dystopian comedy right?
Kanye West announces he really is running for president (he’s some kind of popular hipper hopper, apparently).
Some choice take-aways:
– That he’s never voted in his life.
– That he’s suspicious of a coronavirus vaccine, terming vaccines “the mark of the beast.”
– That he believes “Planned Parenthoods have been placed inside cities by white supremacists to do the Devil’s work.”
– That he envisions a White House organizational model based on the secret country of Wakanda in Black Panther.
Cometh the hour. Cometh the man.
Today’s words are psychological poison.
Man, how I hope I get invited into one of these
struggletraining sessions! I think silence, cognitive dissonance and anti-blackness are the only traits on that list that I don’t exhibit regularly, and I’m pretty sure the trainer would disagree with me on the last. Of course, I’d have to make a running gag out of replacing “internalized” with “intrinsic” every time I referred to IRS.Remember, you get bonus points if you make the trainer cry!
Oh, and here’s a little something for you, barkeep. There may be more where that came from, if you can lay your hands on a real lime for my next Dark and Stormy.
Oh, and here’s a little something for you, barkeep.
Bless you, sir. May your tangerines never underwhelm.
Snort! Perhaps she was being ironic?
No she was in earnest. In Canada, when you write for the Globe & Mail (Grope & Flail, Mop and Pail) you believe you are writing for the most important paper in Canada. The only possible higher calling could be to write for the New York Times.
May your tangerines never underwhelm.
What a coincidence – that’s on my family crest.
Small illuminated stylized humanicon with or without a front hole.
Good lyrics, but hard to dance to.
What a coincidence – that’s on my family crest.
And like all the blessings, obviously, a true story.
Feel my pain.
That he believes “Planned Parenthoods have been placed inside cities by white supremacists to do the Devil’s work.”
You might want to look into the history of one Margaret Sanger.
No she was in earnest.
Also a coward. You have to wade through her facile attempts at self-deprecation to get there, but after making much of the “cowardice” of Massey Hall in its response to the mob, she acknowledges that she ultimately quit. If she had the courage of her convictions she’d insist they formally oust her.
At a time when San Francisco is drowning in human faeces and used hypodermic needles, before more recently being systematically destroyed by rioters, murderers and looters, the SF Human Rights Commission has the answer – the
KarenCaren act!Finally they can prosecute the real criminals, like this horrifying case of attempted defamation:
In June, a white couple called the police on James Juanillo after accusing him of defacing private property. Juanillo was stenciling “Black Lives Matter” on the wall in front of his Pacific Heights home.
You might want to look into the history of one Margaret Sanger.
This is the danger candidate Yeezy (B-IL) poses to Project Left, not the nonsense about him stealing black votes and swinging the election. American blacks are (1) only 13% of the genpop, (2) register and vote at lower relative percentages than other groups, and (3) are largely concentrated in urban areas inside states that are locked one way or another. NY, CA, IL and arguably TX are locked and a 100% turnout of blacks voting in unison won’t swing them in either direction, and that’s a ton of electoral votes I just listed.
Unfortunately, it’s never been about blacks, their welfare, or even their voting preferences for the Dems, as per usual. It’s about using them as shield, sword, or cudgel as needed.
But…if even a few people (black or otherwise) start actually questioning the institutions who’ve promised racial equity for generations yet consistently deliver urban hellscapes then the entire Project is at risk. EG, rightwingers have been trumpeting the “PP as black genocide” angle for decades with the typical results. But if someone they can’t outright ignore starts complaining…
Also a coward.
[Sigh] Yep. It’s endemic. Even the most ardent defenders* of free speech have to begin their battle with a litany of mealy-mouthed mea culpas.
“The forces of illiberalism are gaining strength throughout the world and have a powerful ally in Donald Trump, who represents a real threat to democracy.” …blah blah blah … racist … blah blah blah … sexist … blah blah blah … literally hitler.
So stunning. So brave.
* Some hyperbole may apply
For those of you with a strong stomach, Jessica Valenti (I know, believe me I know) has a characteristically* reasoned, honest and balanced response to the Harper’s Letter opposing cancel culture.
* May not contain reason, balance or honesty.
How long do you think I’d be gone before my employer realized I wasn’t working from home? Or rather, that my home wasn’t where they thought it was.
Newsweek is a premier news magazine and website that has been bringing high-quality journalism to readers around the globe for over 80 years.
Why is Jodie Comer Being Canceled? She Might Have a Pro-Trump Boyfriend
I just can’t keep up.
“Remember, honey,” she said to her daughter as we waited for the light to turn green, “we need to wait for the little White man to appear before we can cross the street.”
They call me a reality denier all the time, so it doesn’t really bother me anymore. Just saying for context… I do not believe this conversation, in this manner ever happened. Reads like stilted dialog from a lame episode of a 1980’s family sitcom. Like the one with those little twins playing the same character, or that one where a bunch of tweener girls did that stuff while that middleaged fat lady rolled her eyes. You know the ones.
I do not believe this conversation, in this manner ever happened.
Was waiting to cross the street with my son when he was four. He liked to push the walk button and did so then waited dutifully for the light to change. When the walk signal came on he exclaimed, “White man walking!”
Oh, and what makes it even cuter, is my son is adopted from Guatemala and definitely looks like he has some Mayan dna.