An agony of sorts, spotted by Julia and several others during the National Union of Students’ currently ongoing Women’s Conference:

No, you mustn’t laugh, says the Independent’s Andrew Griffin. Because clapping in support can break a woman in half:

And what could possibly be funny about a room full of “mindful” feminists doing jazz hands every few minutes?

Evidence is triggering too, apparently. And so it goes in the bin:

Says the “struggling postgraduate” and NUS Women’s Officer whose interests include cats, “trade unions” and “being mentally ill.”

After quite a bit of sniggering, chiefly from other women, the fearless warriors, our architects of tomorrow, withdrew from public view to a more private Twitter account. What with all that heteronormative persecution. You see, strong feminist women need a “self-care room” and “safe spaces” where heathens who find this level of preciousness amusing are just a traumatic memory. Shielded from the horrors of raised eyebrows and any hint of incredulity, the ladies continued to address the great issues of the day.

And so in the official Women’s Conference document we find such things as this:

The appropriation of Black women by white gay men is prevalent within the LGBT scene and community. This may be manifested in the emulation of the mannerisms, language (particularly AAVE- African American Vernacular English) and phrases that can be attributed to Black women. White gay men may often assert that they are “strong black women” or have an “inner black woman.” White gay men are the dominant demographic within the LGBT community, and they benefit from both white privilege and male privilege.

And therefore,

This type of appropriation is unacceptable and must be addressed. Low numbers of Black LGBT women delegates attend NUS LGBT conference. This can be attributed to many factors, one of which may be the prevalent appropriation by white gay men, which may mean that delegates do not feel comfortable or safe attending conference.

You see, if a black woman has something better to do with her time – better than doing jazz hands whenever a feminist speaks – this is almost certainly the fault of white gay men. All of whom are doing ghetto fabulous finger-snaps and referring to themselves, continually, as “strong black women.”

Oh look. Buttons.