His Deodorant Failed Him
Man accused of having sex with a Shetland pony was found “smelling strongly of horses.”
Police say Alan Barnfield was “sweating profusely” and had several cans of Lynx in his bag on the night he was seen leading two ponies into a dark wooded area.
That is all. Carry on.
Barnfield was “sweating profusely” and had several cans of Lynx in his bag
You don’t see that kind of thing in the adverts.
You don’t see that kind of thing in the adverts.
I suspect the market is a little too niche. And evidently the product is insufficient for that particular task.
Is it me or has the Telegraph used a photo of a very happy pony?
Is it me or has the Telegraph used a photo of a very happy pony?
Glamour shot!
I saw an article recently indicating that the Scottish Wildlife Trust is campaigning for the reintroduction of Lynx to Scotland.
Now we know why.
Is it me or has the Telegraph used a photo of a very happy pony?
Glamour shot!
Ponies should be recognised for their achievements, not their looks. Photographs like that just encourage rape culture. I literally can’t breathe right now. Please make it stop. #No2Page3Ponies
That is all. Carry on.
Well, that’s something I really wanted to read with my morning coffee. Thank you, David.
#No2Page3Ponies
Oh dear. I fear we’re teetering on the brink of some terrible precipice. When will I learn?
Oh dear. Whatever punishment the court gives, it won’t be anything on the “giddy-up!” Or “Ride ’em, cowboy” shouts he’ll get wherever he goes from now on.
Poor bugger.
had several cans of Lynx in his bag… and two bottles of Lucozade.
Lucozade “helps maintain performance during prolonged endurance exercise.”
http://www.lucozadesport.com/products/
I see the Telegraph has now removed the oddly glamorous pony photo and replaced it with a burly chap with piercings.
I see the Telegraph has now removed the oddly glamorous pony photo and replaced it with a burly chap with piercings.
A clear victory for the #No2Page3Ponies campaign. Now what can I have banned next?
“Public warned against dining out on Belfast fish spill.”
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-30997289
I see he’s a Yorkshireman, so when asked by the Magistrate whether he had sex with a pony, he’ll reply: “Neigh”.
I’m here all week.
@Sam: why haven’t they blurred the features? How dare they identify a sexual assault victim!
David: ‘…and replaced it with a burly chap with piercings.’
A bit surprised he doesn’t have a pony tail… 😉
Can I un-read that and continue with dinner please?
Was he grooming them?
Mamma mia!
Some people really need to have certain nerves snipped. They might appreciate the quite.
Pass the sick bag, David!
Yes, does bring interesting meanings to the classic concepts of Can I have a pony? and A horse of a different color . . .
Also brings whole new meanings to the traditional advice that anytime that you fall off of {situation} the best response is to climb back on as soon as possible . . . !
Still prefer him to Kayla Wheeler.
“Is it me or has the Telegraph used a photo of a very happy pony?”
It’s the Telegraphs version of the Mirrors’s page three.
This is off topic, but yet another expedition into the world of pomo lunacy:
Of all the sacred cows allowed to roam unimpeded in our culture, few are as revered as literacy. Its benefits have been so incontestable that in the five millennia since the advent of the written word numerous poets and writers have extolled its virtues. Few paused to consider its costs…One pernicious effect of literacy has gone largely unnoticed: writing subliminally fosters a patriarchal outlook.
Read the rest, as the kids say.
The spam filter is being touchy again. If anyone has trouble with comments not appearing, email me and I’ll jab a stick in there and jiggle it about.
You Beastiophobes should be ashamed.
Off topic (apologies)
Have recently got back in touch with family member after many years. Apparently, they “admire” and are “inspired by”
Noam Chomsky and Glenn Greenwald. Etc.
I think I would prefer it if they admired Mr Barnfield.
Help.
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/factory-worker-cleared-of-having-sex-with-shetland-pony-is-jailed-for-outraging-public-decency-10014913.html
When asked if he were unwell, he replied, “Well, I am feeling a little horse.”