It’s probably best to charge it before you set off. // Cheese heists in the Netherlands. // I think it’s called comeuppance. // Because Paris isn’t real. // The properties of lenses. // A library of pigments. // They disentangle yarn. // Tiny snack, eaten whole. // Whiskey glass of note, $50. // Avatar verisimilitude. // The loveliness of bee puke. // The product manual archive. (h/t, Things) // Siberian ice percussion. // Alphorn in a parking lot. // Hearing loss simulator. // Model of note, 1964. // HTML 909. // Every Batman fight scene onomatopoeia in one alphabetical gif. // The shelf lives of single-serving condiment sachets. (h/t, Coudal) // When a famous footballer turns on his Instagram notifications. // And finally, via Damian, some children really are very hard to please.

Canned air, $19. // Cough syrup of yore. // Slow motion gargling. // Give good tongue. // Of Oz the Wizard. Because all films should be alphabetized. // How to store your bunnies. // Deter burglars with a fog cannon. // Wheeled robot climbs walls. // Mystery solved. // The Bigger Luke Wiki. (h/t, MeFi) // Meanwhile, in Iran. // Made of ice. // An app for the blind. It works on bananas and wine but not much else. // Erotic e-books sync to your sex toy. “Breathing on the screen will trigger vibrations.” // A stiff breeze. // Impress your guests no end with an Inception table. // Instant iced tea. Some travel involved. // No, after you. // Chip fingers. // Crime and correlation. // Discussing intelligence. // New Zealand has disappeared. // And finally, inevitably, moss watching is now a thing.

I’m assuming the janitor was on holiday.

Via sH2.

The smell of cat foreheads, in a spray. // Cat fight. // At last, a mind-controlled car. // The anti-earthquake bed you’ve always wanted. // Tea bag rocket. // Teaching robots. // Bluetooth talking glove. // Tiny plasters for teeny boo-boos. // Best played with headphones in a darkened room. // Over the holidays I’ll be drinking a bottle or two of this. // Header table tennis is the sport of kings. // The octopus and the coconut. // He plays the pedalboard faster than you do. // “This is not a Monty Python sketch.” // It’s not about feelings and sensitivity, they just like telling you what to do. // Sexy men of the synthesizer. For certain values of sexy. // Surf the old web. // Test tube dwellings. // The weather where you are. (h/t, Dr W) // And finally, inevitably, Star Wars minus Star Wars.

Beauty water, $24. // A superconductor levitating on a Möbius strip. // ZX Spectrum emulator. // Grieg in 360 degrees. // Patriarchy caught on camera. (h/t, Liz) // “You can’t move, form memories, or – hopefully – feel pain.” // Period Jewellery. (h/t, Paul) // What does your uvula do? // His interstellar vehicle is bigger than yours. // “Penile disassembly” and other delightful mutilation. (h/t, Paul) // A fence made of bees. It deters elephants. // For detecting radar. // Photography in difficult conditions, 1914-17. // Elgar with a chicken on his head and other composers doing normal shit. // The ultimate executive desk toy is too big for your desk. // Apocalyptic commune lives in homes built from trash. // Your turn to carry the octobass. // Insert card as shown. // Now slap Kirk.

This just in:  

A woman has been charged with attempted murder after stabbing another woman at the biggest art fair in the US, in an attack that was wrongly interpreted by onlookers as performance art.

No. Don’t. Bad dog.

Siyuan Zhao, from New York, was arrested after stabbing the victim’s arms and neck with an X-Acto craft knife during a fight at the Art Basel event in Miami Beach on Friday. The victim, who has not been identified, was taken to Jackson Memorial hospital with non-life-threatening injuries… While she was being patted down, Zhao spontaneously stated: “I had to kill her and two more.” She is also alleged to have said: “I had to watch her bleed!”

Both ladies are believed to have been patrons of the art fair, not rival exhibitors.

Other witnesses later thought the police tape cordoning the area was an art installation.

Via Julia and Chester.

Um… // The Thingamagoop 3000. Go on, buy it for the wife. // Imperfect produce. // At last, porn studies: “In what ways do GIFs augment or displace long-form hardcore?” // Probing the mantle. // Making winter with crushed marble. // Marketing Margaret Thatcher, 1983: “The antiquated computer Labour has breaks down once a week.” // Symmetrical breakfasts. // Telescopes in motion. // Tiny tools. // A 10,000 year clock inside a mountain in Texas. // Don’t put metal objects in the MRI. // How to calm a crying baby. // Conflict resolution. // Courage and snow. // Customised, printable wrapping paper. (h/t, Things) // Racing snakes. // Hours of daylight. // The Hubble advent calendar. // “Is she with you?” // Why parents rarely want their children to be artists, part 16.

Chicken skin teddy. // Hey, you switched-on kids, it’s Serge and Brigitte. // Colour photographs of Paris, 100 years ago. // Now and then, even SR-71 pilots like to have a laugh. // IKEA self-assembly instructions from hell. // His flash-light is brighter than yours. // That’s not a lightsaber, this is a lightsaber. // I fear a small malfunction may be imminent. // Half-mile-long spider web. // A real-time map of Berlin’s subway system. Hours of fun. // Black fruit. // Ginkgo leaves. // Short story vending machine. // Meanwhile, at the airport. // Give the gift of toilet paper. // A public archive of 10,000 cylinder recordings. Includes The Wedding o’ Sandy MacNab and Girls, Study Your Cookery Book. // Civil War. // Wood block transformers. // This book is a camera. // Above all else.

Sail away, sail away, sail away. (h/t, Damian) // At last, a self-operated mechanical hugging machine. // Selfie arm extensions. // An interactive self-updating history of the world. // Shazam your beer. // Slackline walking, it’s not for everyone. // He folds paper better than you do. // Portable and discreet. // At last, videos for pets. Look, Fido. Squirrel! // In fairness, new shoes cheer me up too. // A tall chap in wartime, 1944. (h/t, Kristian) // Tip of Fuji. // 57. // Give the gift of life skills. // Loudspeakers of note. // The eagle hunters of Mongolia. // Assorted Bond interiors. (h/t, Things) // This. // Einstein’s theories of general and special relativity explained in simple terms. // Cup of penis. // 230-foot Croatian sea-organ. // Someone fetch Mulder and Scully, there’s oddness afoot.

Don’t worry, he’s not naked. // You want one and you know it. // When your nearest neighbour is Area 51. // His swordsmanship is better than yours. // The Hindenburg’s interiors. // Cats unimpressed by feline-human hybrid. // A visual history of Macy’s Thanksgiving parades, 1929-1964. // The untidy moons of Pluto. // At last, clip-on man buns. // Man with broom, brooming. // A Mongolian record shop. // On a classic of Australian television drama. // Advent calendars filled with liquor. // Crooked timber. // Magnetism. // This rent map of London is not for the squeamish. // The Three Laws of Robotics do not work. Would an autonomous robot surgeon perform an abortion? // And finally, it turns out there are around 1.2 million people with my surname. What about yours?